h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An ENGLISH major?! Well, hell, that explains /everything/...

Well, what did you think I'd be studying? Architecture? Law? Meteorology? All very fine subjects, but certainly not for me.

However, I just learned today (thanks to my avid reading of the weekly campus newspaper) that next year they will be adding a Creative Writing and Professional Writing major to the curriculum. So, as of next year I won't be an English Major, I'll be a Creative Writing Major.

I've had the best luck with this college.

*shakes head*

Of all the majors to pic--

*looks at transcripts*

...err, never mind. Good choice, Affy!

Are you doing anything in the theatre this year, Affy? I think I might have asked you before, but I forgot to note it down in your dossier.

Very, very little. I was an usher for a big Dance show, and I'll be ushering for "The Cradle Will Rock" again sometime next month. I considered auditioning for a few things (especially that "Anna Karenina" performance), but my schedule's just been too busy for that type of thing this year.

However, I was able to get my foot in the door for writing with a stupid TV show that has little to no chance of making it over the last few months. Long story short, if you hear about a show called "Cursed Shield Of Trouble" sometime over the next few years, then that's a show that I helped to push into production (don't waste your time looking for it now. It hasn't even been granted a copyright or recognition by the Library of Congress yet).

*impressed*

I'm a theatre minor too, affy. Good choice, much safer than a theatre major. Creative writing is a pretty decent major anyway; widely applicable. And if you're doubling in computer science I'd say you sound like a shoo-in for a career in video games. You could at least write some better scripts for them. Some of the ones the bf plays are HORRENDOUS!

Video game writing? Maybe. Stupid Little Robot was originally an idea for a video game, come to think of it.

I don't think I'd pursue it, though. If Rare Entertainment were to offer me an internship today then I might accept it, but I don't think I'd enjoy a daily commute from Indiana to England.

That's *almost* as bad as my daily commute down the 405.

You wouldn't consider it? Not even if you could do Zork-esque games like Everquest or create a better h2g2 game?

Oh no, don't get me wrong. I'd definitely consider it. But I think it'd be an a "per-game-basis" if anything. I mean, Douglas Adams pretty much wrote games for Infocom when he felt like it. Steve Meretzky had to go to DNA's home in England and literally camp out on his front lawn in order to get past Mr. Adams' infamous procrastination.

Also, I'm a control freak. It'd be cool to make the next character that kids would go wild over, but I don't know how happy I'd be knowing that some video game empire would then most likely have the right to take that character away from me if they ever wanted to.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I want to be a writer. I don't want to be a writer of novels, a writer of TV shows, a writer of movies, a writer of sitcoms, a writer of stage-plays, or a writer of video games. I just wanna be paid for writing.

Here's hoping that Rare Entertainment is reading this and is really, really desperate for employees.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I get it. You and me both! Good for you, affy. You'd be fantastic!

I'm sure you'll make it work out. If you want it bad enough, there will be nothing stopping you.

I want global domination. I want it real bad.

*sidles up next to affy*

Need help? I'm available. I'll do whatever you want, as long as I get to be infamous and wear black leather.

Okay, I agree to those terms. I'm unable to directly supply you with black leather at the moment, but once I get a decent territory taken over I'll be sure to start doing so. Can you supply the black leather until then?

Certainly!

Okay then! Hmmmm....what to start you on....

I'm torn between jewel store robberies (less security than banks) and setting you up with something like the Five Puzzle Scam that I run around here. It'd be neat to have a franchise finally.

Ooooh, a franchise? Always wanted one of those. Actually, I could probably do both. I've got some free time on my hands.

Yes, well I'd suggest washing that free time off before the cops arrive...

Okay, first you'll need a stall, and permission to run the thing. Might have to promise a cut of the money, but that's a given.

Oh, and just a thought: can you come up with your own riddles, or do you want my list? It's very important to have a riddle list.