h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As much as I prefer them to hard plastic chairs, comfy chairs are not ideal for studying something that you don't really want to read. For instance, I was just trying to get through 49 pages of a copy of Alcestis, which would've been like 15 to 20 pages in a normal book. Shouldn't have taken me too long to read.

But as I chose to sit in a comfy chair, I continued to drowse with my eyes almost focussing on the same paragraph. I checked my watch at the beginning of one page, read it, and then checked it again to discover the passage of forty-five minutes.

Next time, I'm bringing my own hard, plastic chair. Something that'll send an electric shock to my left foot once every five minutes. And I'll make sure that two legs of it will be different lengths from the other two.

I used to go to the couch in the study room specifically for naps. It was comfy, and guaranteed to be quiet.

I would be tempted to do that, but I don't know if I snore or not. If I don't snore, then sleeping in a couch like that would be the way to go. But if I do snore, then it'd be disturbing for the other students.

Especially since some people in my family are unearthly snorers. As in, can't sleep within ten feet of 'em. So if I do snore, it's probably loud.

Come spend the night on my couch, and I'll tell you! Hehe, can't blame me for trying, right?

The fiance snores. It's ungodly. I'm fortunate that all I do is

Though such a ruse may be tempting, I can fall for much simpler ruses without purchasing a plane ticket.

Well, it's true. I'm sure I could find a few researchers in Chicago. That's within a comfortable driving distance.

*considers e-mailing that tidbit to GL to aid in his investigation*

You're apparently a bit behind on the revelations, Sea, I'll bring ya up to speed. I attend Valparaiso University, which is within driving distance of Chicago. Just FYI.

Ah! You'll be happy to know I just billed your university about $2,700 for licensing fees. Tee hee!

Yes. I'm sure that they'll be more than willing to give you, a person that they've probably never heard of, that much money in regards to me, a person that you can't really name or describe.

Brilliant financial strategy, NYC. Absolutely brilliant.

Of course, NYC was likely telling the truth... and that whether it had to do with you *personally*, Affy, was moot in giving him great pleasure.

...now if you don't mind, here's a really nice comfy couch for me to... *yawn* ...study... *zzzzzzz*

Doesn't matter, really. I can't see my identity staying a secret for more than a year or two now. It just wouldn't make sense.

Glad to see you're joining society, Affy.

And, no, really: I actually billed your school. 'Tis part of my RL job. Hee!

*Tucks that bit of info right into "The Dossiers"*

*peeks into the Dossier*

Oooooo! I wonder how we ever figured out that he is somehow associated with New York City. Must have been an anonymous tip.

Say, Affy - there's a possibility that me and my family will be coming to Chicago sometime this spring. My daughter really wants to go to the American Girls store there - she has 3 of their dolls and lots of their books and subscribes to their magazine and loves their web site and...and...and everything! So, we will probably be making the trip. We haven't settled any of the details yet, but if we stay overnight, there may be time for a meeting.

A meeting, hmmmm? Well, it'd depend on all the wheres and whens, but that definitely sounds like fun.

I'd attempt to show up, although my schedule's got a few interesting bumps in it (there's a week in April, for instance, when my University has a bit of a "Jazz Fest." As a member of the "VU Jazz Lab Band" (I still crack up at the term 'Jazz Lab'), I'd have to help pretty much every night that week, I know.)

And, of course, I'd be wearing a mask, speaking through a voice modifier and using every trick of Chicago navigation that I know to prevent something like my license plate from being seen, but yeah. A meeting would be cool.

I've never heard of that school, affy. What are you studying?

Mad Science, of course.

http://www.valpo.edu/

As Mad Science is basically science done dramatically, that's not too far from the truth....

I'm primarily majoring in English, and I'm probably going to major in Computer Science as well, and I'm going to try to tack on a Theater minor in the process. There just wasn't time for a music minor, I'm afraid.