h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, not really.

But I do love the responses to the frothing-at-the-mouth stories, like the Anton du Beke row:

http://bit.ly/CNMy6

You don't have to go far to find a real beauty:

'The box-ticking PC brigade should bear in mind that if their smug and sanctimonious little campaign to get du Beke sacked from Strictly succeeds, they have quite neatly scuppered any chance Laila Rouass has of going on with the competition.

Well done to the rent-a-quote crowd!

- Grumpyoldman, Europe, 8/10/2009 16:16'

Yeah, you fools! That's the big issue here! Poor Laila! Heartless fiends!

And then:

'All you people get a life its only television Lola, we may be in the 21st century, but with someone in another Muslim country being sentenced to 1000 lashes.. IT SEEMS LIKE WE COULD BE IN THE 17 th CENTURY.'

I don't understand that one at all.

And this one is brilliant - towards the bottom of page three in the comments, but worth finding:

'This won't get printed but as a woman, I blame women for alot of this nonsense as so many are incapable of answering back with a witty remark. Its so easy.

- sonia, France and UK, 8/10/2009 13:22'

That one actually had thirteen more 'good' clicks than bad. Astonishing.

Everyone that said 'actually, I can see how she would have been offended' got huge negative scores; everyone who said things like 'the world has gone mad' or 'We're living in Hindustan!' [if you're going to be like that, surely 'Islamistan'?] got whooping hurrahs.


Even better than reading Mail comments is the 'spEak You're bRanes' website, which I won't link to because it contains a little flowery language. Take a look if you enjoy the mindless ramblings of the nutters on these stories. I guarantee you won't be disppointed.

You might like this: http://www.mailwatch.co.uk/forum/index.php

Come to think of it, the language can get a bit flowery in there ^^ too.

your both trying to sully my virgin and inexplicably nieive nature

When did you get one of those, 2legs?

I saved up ten vouchers from special packs of frosties!

I was going to link you to Speak Your Branes. Astonishing to me how many idiots we have in this country - and they're just the ones who can be bothered to showcase their idiocy on the internet.

What I'd like to know is where were all these people before the internet? We never heard from them. If they wrote the kind of drivel you find on sites and blogs and in forums to the local paper, the letters editor would just toss it in the bin, or maybe pin it up on a noticeboard for everyone's amusement (we do that at work with some of the unbelievable things people write on the bits of paper they write their food and drink order on - saw one up there yesterday that said "I NEED FRIES THAT ARE ALL BIGER [sic] THAN A QUARTER!!!").

Has the interwebs encouraged more people to be like that, or is there a tiny group of people who were always barking and who have all the time in the world to trawl the web posting their idiocy on every forum they can find? Where did they learn this kind of behaviour? Did their parents not teach them the basics of human interaction and etiquette? What drives them? What makes them think that their rantings are acceptable and rational and will get results?

Concerned people want to know... partly so that some of us can shake them very hard and ask 'What on earth is wrong with you!!!'.

There's also this: http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/

Nice one, Mala.

I've often wondered about it. There's clearly some kind of pleasure to be got from a paranoid, victimised world-view in which everyone is getting a better deal than you are. The question is why?

I normally cannot tolerate trolls, unless they do it right like this guy.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

He makes trolling an art form.

Just signed up to Mailwatch. Should give me something to do while I'm confined to quarters.

'Eh oop', thought I, 'that name looks familiar, lurking at the bottom.'