h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've taken next week off w*rk. I'm not going anywhere in particular, or making any great plans; I'll do a bit of gardening (in a bone-dry garden with rock-hard soil), and sort out all the cupboards that are still in the state of chaos that arose when I moved in here three years ago. I might even clean the place. I'll also do some shopping, hang around the art gallery, stroll around the lake...

The thing is, I'm badly in need of some time to myself. I seem to spend my life doing things for other people. That's an occupational hazard when one works in the welfare sector, but lately things have gotten out of hand. Usually I enjoy helping people who need help, but just lately I'm feeling somehow obliged to help too many people here in Real Life. It makes me wonder where my life's gone, and why I'm not in better control of it. An entire week of doing whatever I want, whenever I want - it's a rare luxury.

I need to work out what my priorities are...

Traveller in Time on his head
"Sounds as if you are up to the exercise of deliberatley wasting time.
Have a good time, perhaps we see you around down here. "

I understand you completely. Apart from Youngest and Eldest, I lead a completely useless life so therefore I will help any of my girlfriends, who are unfortunately single-parent families now. However, even as I sit here, the telephone has just rung and not a close-girlfriend but a girlfriend nonetheless has just demanded when are you coming to get me for shopping?! I often find it hard to say no and need to practise more. Catch you later, my friend, and with my compliments

Sounds as if you have made a good plan to gain some strenght.

I've had kids in varying sizes and ages since I was 20 (for 31 years that'll be by now ) so I know exactely what you mean. And then there is husband and w*rk an volunteer w*rk as well.

If only I could sit for hours on end in the sunshine letting the natural world make its impression on me. Or. If only I could enjoy doing what I would like to do at the time *I* want to do it.

Just relax and even (what luxury) coming to the point of beeing bored and then go seek some tasks to fullfill.



I've got this horrible feeling that I have gotten myself into this turmoil because I like to be important to other people

But time-out. That is what I - and obviously you - need once in a while.



And enjoy

Ivan, and everyone else - I think this is something most of us suffer from, and it seems to be getting worse. How DO you find time for yourself

I feel the same, over the years, elderly parents, elderly neighbours, husband, sons, friends etc. All seem to think because I don't go OUT to work that I have nothing to do but amuse and help them

Ivan, leave the cupboards and anything else that resembles work and chill out. Leave the house if all that faces you is more work. Otherwise you will go back to work the same as you finished. Take the phone off the hook, read a book, go for a walk, bathe, shower in a leisurely fashion and have a and anything else that takes your fancy. You have permission

We really have to learn to slow down and smell the or whichever is your preference!

I think this verse is something we should all take on board:

http://www.englishverse.com/poems/leisure

Having given you a lecture, I must try and think how I can take my own advice If anyone knows how to learn to say NO! I would be glad to know.

Have a good one, Ivan.

Websailor

for the poem, websailor.

Just what I needed

Good you will take some time to care for yourself Ivan Do your priority list after you have decompressed!

Decompression first priority.

enjoy yourself, and relax ivan glad you're taking some time out for yourself

as for saying no i'm starting to wonder if the vast majority dont have a problem with that. i certainly do.

Have a good one Ivan

Your need for a time out is precisely why I'm leaving work and the UK in January and coming to Australia to find out how to live without all of that stuff


Fb

Sounds like a plan, Ivan!

If you need any pointers on how to do absolutely nothing just get in touch.


az
(sorta-kinda on holiday atm and LOVING it)

Lovely!

Friend n. 1 person one likes and chooses to spend time with (usu. without sexual or family bonds). 2 sympathiser, helper. 3 ally or neutral person (friend or foe?). 4 person already mentioned (our friend at the bank). 5 regular supporter of an institution. 6 (Friend) Quaker. [Old English]


Ivan I’ve just driven back from Durham in the UK to Wales. I’m not feeling great because of flu, if I came across that way though my apologies. Nine hours driving leaves plenty of time for reflection though and you are doing just what you need to do, taking the time to do bugger all.

It’s an odd thing friendship, particularly if you take the definition above and try to deconstruct it. Do we actually really consciously choose to spend time with, or indeed even like people? Of the three great types of relationship that dominate most of our lives, sexual, family and friends, they are the least written about.

I don’t mean the pap sibling comedy of errors that seems to preoccupy TV and Hollywood. I don’t even mean the old school camaraderie redolent of university life or work. I mean the people we love in that asexual, unconditional way.

If I were ever put in the position of choosing between betraying my friends or my country, I should hope that I would have the courage to betray the state.


I don’t have many friends, my personality is, as you may be finding such that if you spend enough time around me, I will be found disagreeable. I blame only myself, my standards are high, I’m arrogant, opinionated, a little brash, most certainly conceited and capable of withering indifference to those I feel to be maliciously stupid, and yet I wish you well.


Part of it is mere empathy I know, I really feel for your situation. It’s not simply the little agonising tuggings of everyday life, the thousand things like so many insistent children at your heels, it’s compounded with the sense of loss of control of ones own destiny ...

But maybe that's just me.....

Take the week.

Chill

Go to the park and chase geese,

insult a


come back

and insult me.

hi wolfpit,

We haven't met, but basically, any friend of Ivan's is a friend of mine.

<>

Actually, you sound like just the kind of people I like having around. I think you just need to meet more like-minded weirdos.


az

Chill out friend!!

The stilettos will always be waiting for your return ... and then we will tango afresh!!!





lil xxx

Have a lovely, lazy time Ivan.
I have just had 2 weeks off and I spent most of the time being a 'Couch potato' watching the Olympics. It is very refreshing just 'doing' for yourself and not for others even if it is pottering around the house fixing the cupboards. During my break I helped out on the Mensa stand at the Gifted Childrens Seminar. I am sure I gained more doing that than I gave and it was purely voluntary

Hello everyone, thanks for dropping by. all round...

My week of doing whatever I want is off to a good start; I've done the grocery shopping, finished a book, pottered about aimlessly, and turned down an invitation for this evening. That felt good. If I'd gone, it would have turned into another session with me listening to someone else's problems and being expected to utter soothing platitudes in return. I didn't dodge it completely; I've agreed to an afternoon meeting tomorrow, but I'll combine it with some shopping that I want to do, so I won't feel quite so exploited afterwards. Maybe that sounds catty, but I'm just so tired of being dragooned into things, and being expected to care about (certain) other people's (self-induced) crises.

I'm kicking myself for not saying 'no' outright, but at least I've taken charge of the event and chaging it to suit myself for a change...

*takes deep breath* Yes, I do need a break, don't I?

Websailor, thanks for that poem. I've seen it before, somewhere or other, but I never knew who wrote it.

It does sound like you are slowly weaning yourself off whatever need you feel to always say 'yes' to people. Well, Rome wasn't built in a day and I think you handled this most recent demand on you and your time very well.

Meanwhile, check out the new thread title.


az

Best advice for any given situation these days az

I hope you don't take my online whining too seriously. I just need a place for it and all the .

Hati,

Where and when do you 'whine'? I certainly have never noticed. And anyhow, we all know that Ivan's place is a place we can all make ourselves at home. Help ourselves to whatever is in the fridge, sit around and chat, etc. The good thing about hanging out in Ivan's virtual living room is that he doesn't have to bother with us unless he wants to - but he knows we are always there in case he might like a bit of a chat or whatever.

Personally I'm mostly here for Ivan's wine cellar, which is always very well stocked with amazing stuff!


az