h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

awww
thanks jerms


its nice to know that you think i could.

i dont think i could though......

well not a hero......
however i do intend to ammout to something, i'm not going to just sit here.....

You can be absolutely anything you want.

The trick is to work out what you enjoy, and then figure out a way to get insanely rich doing that, and then things get much easier.

My medium term goals all have the side-effect that I get to be insanely rich, immortal, prove that I'm god, and grant my three wishes too!

All I need at this point is to find a design engineer or a toolmaker, and convince them that they owe me a favour in exchange for them being very rich later.

So if I can do it, I'm sure you can too.

thanks jerms

what three wishes are those?

and i know that you can do it.

I want to be able to change my body in any way, just by concentrating on it. So I can grow wings or get a better memory, or whatever.
And I want to have perfect aim.
And I want to give everyone on the planet an equal opportunity for a great life.

I don't suppose you happen to know a toolmaker who owes you a favour?

noooo... i cant say that i do...
but you know that if i did the favour would be yours...

dont you mean 4 wishes then?
something about a castle......

The castle's easy, I just need money for that.

The three wishes are more of the 'magical genie' department.
But they're all possible if I can do everything I plan to.

well jerms.....
*looks him in the eyes and shakes his hand*
you will go on to do great things.

Want to know my life plan?

I don't care I'm gonna tell you anyway.

First off I get my A Levels and a degree in Philosophy.

I then go on to teach Philosophy at University. During all this I live in a flat, possibly in London or another city (Manchester perhaps). I live in this flat and in my free time I write, paint, play guitar and write my book. I then become famous and rich off the money from my book but continue to live in my flat with my wife and at least one kid. I continue to write, draw, paint, etc and philosophise.

I think it might work.

Oh Jerms, Anton LeVay's church of Satan works under the basis that you are a god.

dont be silly! of course i want to hear it!

you know what job? i like that plan. it sounds very nice to me
and i dont ever plan to be famous. but i will be a little because you'll put my dragon story in your book.

what about being a famous rock star?

odd.....i though that jerms wanted to be the god.... not a god... maybe i'm wrong.....

I'm gonna stick all my music and stuff in my book so in a way I'll be a rock star. Plus I think the book senario is much more likely.

Well if you can't be THE god be A god.

ahhhhh....... i see. sounds good to me

and certainly, if not THE god then A god. but only if you're going to be my best friend and do me favours

Of course.

Cool. Any thoughts on whether you want to /own/ that flat you live in?
Rent sucks up a lot of income. In fact, rent just sucks full stop.

The rest of it sounds good!

I was aware of LaVey's take on things; it's certainly an interesting viewpoint. But it's not for me. Nor is it how I intend to become god. *Mysterious alien finger-wiggle*

jerms is an alien!?

Nope.

They just taught me how to do their finger-wiggle welcome sign, one day when I was bored in the desert outside of Barstow.

oooooooh....

*careful to spell it right this time*

teach me!!!

i want to meet an alien

I saw a squirrel!
It was doin' like this: *does a slow-motion finger-wiggle, so Arisztid can see*

No you don't. Not on their terms, anyway.

ahhh...... i see.....
*trys to do the slow-motion finger-wiggle*
like that?

alright then. i want to meet an alien on my terms
want to come with me? we can have an adventure!

ok.

Ah you guys can go ahead. I've already been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

Yep, that's the wiggle!