h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

. And or whatever is most appropriate.

Still thinking about you and your family Pastey.

If I could say, don't make the cancer the winner here. Use this precious time while you still have your brother to enhance your relationship, do something unforgettable (if his health is up to it) something you'll remember for the rest of your life.

My Dad went with no regrets, except for one, that he was leaving us. It's taken me years to be able to remember him with a smile.

I've still lost no one in my immediate family.

Make the most of every day of it TRiG, when it comes it really knocks you over. I've not lost him yet, but it kinda feels like I have, but that he's also still here.

I'm traveling down and seeing my folks this weekend, and don't know what to say to them yet.

Your presence will mean a great deal, sometimes no words are necessary. Don't be sparing with your hugs.

I can only agree with previous postings.

Possibly the reason it's hit so hard is that, to a degree we resign ourselves to our Parents' mortality as they are older than us. However, siblings and their children are a shock, as that is so unexpected, and now brings us into a reality check about our own mortality.

Also most siblings have spent all their childhood knowing each other and bonding in a different way to the bond with our parents.

And it is surprising how stoic most people are once diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.

It isn't pleasant, and death is recognised as our final taboo subject, with everyone skirting around the subject, rather than talking about it.

It could be, and forgive me if it seems like rubbing salt in an open wound, that this period will be a period of upset and grief that will, if it is inoperable, make his passing a blessing rather than a curse. I know that is how it was with both my Maternal grandparents.

I just hope he is not in pain.

I am thinking of you and your family and it is at times like this I miss not being spiritual.



MMF

My brother had his appointment today to discuss what treatment was available, etc etc.

The short answer is none.

The cancer is so far gone even chemo doesn't have a chance. All they can do is give him pain killers.

They've also asked him to take a drug that's just become available, to help with the symptoms, but mostly as a sort of clinical trial. They were very clear there's no chance of this curing him, it's purely to allow them to try and help others.

During his appointment he also collapsed and they had to perform CPR to bring him back around.

I am sorry, Pastey. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the whole family. Just be sure that the adverse effects of the drug if he decides to take it doesn't make things worse. It is noble to be a guinea pig for the futures sake but not if it interferes with the time he has left.

That's the worst possible news, I guess. I'm sorry to hear it.

Me too. I was hoping and praying for better news for him, I'm so sorry Pastey

Oh no.

I am so very sorry to hear this.

I'm sorry to hear this news, too.

Thanks all, it means a lot to just know that there are people there. It sounds a bit trite, but feeling as though you're not alone really helps.

I talked to my mother today, she's holding up better than my dad. My brother is due to start his medication today, and it can't come soon enough. He's pretty much stopped eating, and if he were a smaller bloke there'd be nothing left of him by now. All he's managing to eat is the odd spoon of tinned oranges. He's also sweating a *lot*, my mother's having to change his bedding at least twice a day, so he's dehydrating quite badly too. I've suggested they ask the doctors if running/sport drinks might be a good idea for him, after all they're designed to replace what you lose through sweating.
He's unable to completely look after himself anymore, he's still okay using the toilet, but he doesn't have the energy to bath himself anymore. Getting out of bed and going downstairs to the living room seems to be about all he can do in one go.

I'm hoping that the pills work, and that he feels better for a while, because otherwise I don't think he's got very long left at all.

It sounds as if your mother is working very hard, Pastey. It very likely takes her mind off the bigger facts -- I know it did for me with my parents. Is home health care available?

I think my mother will be the home health care, she normally works in an Alzheimer's care centre so is used to it, and she was about to retire anyway.

Thinking of you.