h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Monday 31st March 2003

In response to Hans Blix's devasting report to the UN, which concluded that Iraq has no Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD), but the US and UK almost certainly sold them to Iraq, so where have they gone?, a joint US and UK task force has been sent to Iraq, resulting in heavy civilain and military casualties.
50% of the US public, outraged at the huge loss of human life, marches on Washington. President Bush, seeing the amount of people that oppose him, decides to take the only course of action he can against people that oppose US policy.
He bombs them... To fk.

Okay, maybe I'm completely politically dense, but why go specifically after Iraq? Is Bush afraid that they will actually USE these weapons of mass-destruction?
There are other countries in the world with weapons of mass-destruction. (I'm sure the US included.) Why isn't there such a fuss over them. Is it the oil thing?

Feeling vaguely confused,

There are various reasons going around as to why Mr Bush is going after Iraq -
1. Oil (most likely) - Iraq has huge oil fields. Very nice.
2. Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) - The least likely reason. Whilst Iraq is in breach of countless UN resolutions, it's not recently been for having WMDs. However, in light of 11/9, it does play well with the American people. Also note that if Iraq does have WMDs, they are going to use them against any invading force. So, would George Bush do that. No. Countries with WMDs (such as North Korea) he prefers to go down the diplomatic route, countries without, War!
3. A Moral Case - Tony Blair recently stated that there was a "moral case" for going to war against Iraq. Whilst, in some respects this is true (Mr Hussein has taken it upon himself to kill every Iraqi disident he can, along with wiping out entire villages with chemical weapons), the Archbishops of Westminister and Canterbury (very high up Church people) seem to disagree.
4. Various - There have been many mini-theories as to why we should go to war in Iraq...
So, in answer to your question, no-one's really sure!
Oberon2001

No one understands... America are the only country who are mature enough to have nuclear missiles....


they are also the only country who've ever used them

I did reply to this yesterday, but h2g2 went down just as I was posting it. Luckily (or not) I managed to save what I'd written.

Here it is.

*****
Thanks. That makes everything sooooo much clearer.

Sounds kinda like High School. The big guy wants a fight to prove he is the biggest and most powerful. He is trying to get other people to join his gang first to show he's capable of bossing all these people about. Then he can say "Hey, look at me, Leader of the Free World over here!" Then to prove it, he'll go and kick butt.

He'll gives a lot of reasons to justify his fight, which all sound very reasonable at the time, but are really just justifications.

War! What is it good for?

Meanwhile Australia's Prime Minister is busy trying to please everybody. Idiot. He sends troops over, but says we're not committing. Then Bush goes and blows his cover by saying he is expecting support from Australia!
Howard is a bit like that little dog in the Warner brother's cartoons. 'Can I play? Can I? Huh? Huh? What we gonna do now Georgie?'


*************
PS: I hear on the news this morning that even though 79% of Australians do not want to go to war (you know, one of those polls that noone remembers taking) we could be at war as early as next week.

Ah, John Howard, what a delightful man, though we never hear much about him in the UK (in fact we only ever hear news from Australia when there's a bush fire or a referendum!).
The situation is pretty much the same here. 2 million people walked through London to protest about a war, thousands of students did the same, Labour Backbenchers voted against the Government on the need for War, survey after survey says the UK public do not want war without UN backing, yet Tony Blair turns round and says the majority of the public are behing him!
Apparently the war starts Monday... with or without the UN (and with France and Russia still threatening to use their veto, it's looking like without).
Oberon2001

I really hope this does not degenerate into another world war.
World War 3...

We don't get enough sequels to wars...
Like this one should really be :

Gulf War II: This One's For Daddy.

It also makes it easier to turn into film.

Oberon2001

I'm sure it won't take long for them to make a film out of it.

I wish we could post pictures. A friend sent me a great cartoon of Dr. Evil and Mini Me. Only George Bush's face was superimposed over Dr. Evils and Johnny Howards was superimposed over Mini Me. Caption reads "I call him Mini Me"
Not nearly as funny when you have to describe it.

You should see some of the things Bush is doing to Blair in the pictures we're getting!

Oberon2001

ditto...
You seen the pictures on the anti war march in the UK?

No, haven't seen them. Do you have an URL?