h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How will you do
definining Haiku?

How will you fare
reciting Voltaire?

How will Saint Peter
react to your meter?

There once was a poet from Wirral
Who wrote a fine ode to a squirrel.
His friends thought him mad,
Or said he'd been had,
And one even said he was feral.

There once was a man from northampton.
He said, "See the lovely Lampton!"
It was rather late,
But not very straight,
He couldn't say no to the stamped tin.

My passion is the snowy storm
Deep into that darkness absorbing
Much I marvelled the weatherwise snowstorm
In a kingdom full of days
Weather!' said I, 'Gavin of Weatherman.'
When I thought of the weather
Once upon a midnight metrological
By the grave I saw the westerlies

I so love Simba my cat
He's so nimble and funny.
He has got so many good qualities.
Amusing and fascinating,
when ever he smiles I feel happy.

The daffodil winks its eye
The leaves are on the rose.
The irises bloom by and by,
So why this urge for snows?

My love for weather forecasters is so great,
my heart melts for them 'til the dusk of day.
The night talks when they are away,
as they forecast the weather 'til the day's end.

Their weather videos are so entertaining,
as they describe meandering winds that have been brought in by the seas.
They even change the weather patterns with their super powers,
while waiting for moments of stillness and peace.

Do you know the way to Aberfeldy?
It's the place where I learned the Scottish ways.
The thought of living there fills me with glee as I drink tea
when eating a plate of egg mayonnaise.

I walk over the Wade's bridge
on the way to the Victoria park.
I'm being chased by a swarm of midges
along with a wood warbler and a lark.

Rain is tomorrow's forecast.
It will not be heavy nor fast.
At times it will sprinkle,
At others 'twill tinkle.
The skies will be quite overcast.

Hush now and don't you cry,
your family will soon begin to understand you,
You'll soon will be able to learn how to fly
as you join the very gifted crew.

So, in the mean time, move up to your destination.
Though you may find from time to time complications.
You will soon discover your metahuman superpowers mutations.
Just believe in yourself and trust that all will become right
as you experience your inner and genetic evolution.
You will be guided by your inner light as you begin the fight
as you make your resolution to find the world's solution.

Bite your lip as you take the trip when you feel hip.
Though the road is long and the road maybe wet ahead.
So here are some tips to help you to get a grip on a starship
as it may fill you with dread when you're far from your homestead.

And you will to slip onto the floor, so please tell me, what do what to do?
Just move on up for peace and harmony you will find.
You will be able to make a better world when you make your debut
as you join the superpowered kind who are all very refined.

So what are we, when we want to do is move on up for a greater day
But just you are going to make it, if you put your mind to it, you can surely do it.
It will be parfait in every way, as you pray that you'll be able to find the way.
Take nothing less than the supreme best as you go on a superpowers fest.
So what we have to do is move on up and keep on hoping
that life will get better and richer through all your new superpowers.
that you'll get that zing when you have grown your first wing.
You''ll have the powers to instantly grow trees, shrubs and wildflowers.
Remember your dream is your only scheme so keep on pushing.
So, take your time and you will find your way to your life's goal.
Time may seem to be slowing down when you begin blushing.

We can move on up, we can move on up.
The day you become bestowed with many powers, should be celebrated.
We can all sup on a cup with a pup who likes to say yup.
It will make you and all your kind elated with joy, when our powers are activated.

And you will to slip onto the floor, so please tell me, what do want to do?
Just move on up for peace and harmony you will find.
You will be able to make a better world when you make your debut
as you join the superpowered kind who are all very refined.

The rain was delightful and gentle.
It was almost transcendental.

Where have all my poems gone
all the ones I wrote last year.
The ones I wrote about Ron
and was always filled with cheer.

Where all my latest poetry
that I posted in January.
What about the poem about a tree
and the joys of living by the sea.

It seems an end to my journey
as I will be soon to be writing stories.
The songs that I learnt from my mothers knee
and the times when the North wind breeze would freeze.

I have felt that I have flown without wings
and soared above the cumulus clouds.
There is a weather beaten chest where I keep my things
such as cloaks, robes, gowns and shrouds.

There is a derelict abandoned multi car park
which has a hidden mysterious lift.
It would only appear whenever it's dark
or at the appearance of a swallow and swift.

It appears at the break of dawn or whenever it rains.
and has a portal that draws in people from thousand miles.
It attracts anyone who listens to the sound of steam trains
and those who are experting at using their charm and their wiles.

There is an underground futuristic eco-city
where there are many loch isles with countryside gate stiles.
It is discovered by erstwhile friends who have big smiles
when arrive at the Cairngorm town that's very pretty.

It has hotels which kept names of guests who will be arriving
of those who have accidentally found the place.
They would be surprised by community spirit that's thriving
where they would find solace in the still quiet nature space.

The abandoned multi car park would keep on relocating
and would only appear to those who are seeking sanctuary.
Every winter the lochs freeze where they have ice skating
and ice curling along with ceilidhs that makes everyone feel merry.

A poem a day
Keeps people guessing
EspeciaLly if it doesn't rhyme
AND MAKES NO SENSE
Et vient d'autres langues.
IMHO U R W8ING 4 SNN
But sense disappeared when
Kang was destroyed (temporarily)
In Ant-Man Quantomania.

As I sit here with my drink
The buses now every day
Are nearly on the brink
Trying to find the empty bay

The old top market is now deminished
And getting pulled down soon
The new ones only half finished
Will see a lot more moons

The Arndales past it,s best
The esculators breaking down
The lifts full every day
Thats also be going soon.

I sit at my PC
And gaze through the glass
At birds in my yard,
Like cardinals -- what class!

The bunnies will hop
Across my green lawn.
I put garlic on my flowers
So they won't nibble on

them

I know, I really know
that time is beginning to slow.
I know, I really know
that in the Arctic it's beginning to snow.
I know, I really know
how to make bread with sourdough.
I know, I really know
that my hair is beginning to grow.
I know, I really know
how to mow a meadow with Moe.
I know, I really know
how to go with the flow.

It's time to plant coreopsis and roses.
Daylilies, too, so I'll be needing my trowel.
The rain will water what I've put into the ground,
I'll wash dirt from my hands with water and a towel.

Tweet now about the bow-wow.
Tweet now about the elite high-brow.
Tweet now about the Jersey cow.
Tweet now about the oldest plough.

Tweet on Twitter about making a fritter.
Tweet on Twitter about ways of getting fitter.
Tweet on Twitter about all things that glitter.
Tweet on Twitter about Star DS9's Vic's mobile emitter.

Tweet on Twitter about Picard's Starfleet.
Tweet on Twitter about the best ways to meet and greet.
Tweet on Twitter about drinking whisky when neat.
Tweet on Twitter about the rhythm of the drum beat.