h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

sounds like a typical summers day in your part of the woods Gwennie...well, except for the sunshine bit

Why Pan, thats never stopped you before...

I'm glad that Gwennie and Pandora are on speaking terms again.

The other day my BMW had a leaking exhaust pipe clamp. The carbs were also out of adjustment after I re-routed a throttle cable that was sticking and the right hand coil was not grounding properly, causing an intermittent ignition failure

I removed the silencers to cut another slot in the metal (to clamp tighter) and just for fun, I started the engine without the silencers in place.

The combination of badly adjusted carbs , erratic ignition and only the header pipes made a terrific racket...

It sounded JUST LIKE A HARLEY!

I have never been able to work out why the racket from a hotted-up motorcar with a straight-through pipe is cause for traffic police to act, but a Harley making even more noise is excusable...even desirable?

My BMW is so quiet at legal highway speeds that I can hear the tappets clicking away merrily in front of my feet! At speeds over a hundred-and-plenty (km/h), the only reason I can't hear the tappets is because of the roar of the wind around my helmet...

*Wonders why Paul should think that she an' Pan weren't talking but then remembers the kicking and tying up incident(s) and a hazy realisation dawns in Gwennie's brain cell*

Pan and I are forever beating one another up Paul - it's just our way of having fun.

We do get sunshine sometimes here in the UK Linus and it is regularly celebrated by 'some' folk stripping off (not a pretty sight as a rule!) and getting burned to a crispy glowing pink, which they think enhances their appearance.

WR, how would the wind blowing around your helmet make you deaf? I thought that it was some other male pastime that caused deafness and besides, wouldn't it be safer (for the general public) if you were to wear trousers at speeds of over a hundred-and-plenty on your BMW?

*Glances at her watch and makes a note of how long it has taken her to lower the tone of the conversation*

I am most deffo slacking!

...*wondering if coffee that's been spat onto one's computer screen is harmful...*

Paul H., I adore Gwennie! Come here Hon an' let's show Paul H. just how much we love eachother! ~~~~

Geesh WR, the way you were talking there ... ar you SURE you don't have a Harley? ...*whispers..*the brand name is probably somewhere on the bike.

Come here Linus. I'm all wired on coffee any way ... may as well find a way to w*rk off the cafine buzz!

I could...chuck stuff out the window at the guys building onto my former wine shop in what use to be my extended back yard.Water balloons, tire irons ... stuff like that...They YELL above the sound of their saws and hammers ALL DAY LOOOOOOOONG! They even had the B**ls to "open" my fence, take down my dog cable & tramp down all my spring flowers!
They fell a tree when it all started ... over a week ago. Most of said tree came crashing down against my house while they laughed & scratched themselves. Not to meantion spitting.
I have no idea why Bear refused to allow me to clean the shot gun this week.

Thanks Pan! I love you too!

*Pours her heavily laced-with-ice down Pan's cleavage*

Whoops! Dearie me! Whatamistaketomake!

Shame about your tree Pan and about you not being able to blast the of the vandals ruining your back yard! And I hate spitting too! Unfortunately there is lot of that goes on around here - from men, women and children who hold the mistaken belief that it's some sort of macho display.

When we lived on the Hibiscus Coast in NZ, the president of our local motorcycle club lived across the road from us and as John owned an old Norton Commando, we joined the club. It soon became known that John was good at fixing bikes and had an array of handy tools so the sound of bikes pulling up our driveway or the echoes of them being revved from the garage, which was situated underneath the house was a regular occurrence. I never thought that I'd miss it, including the dirty m/c boots traipsing across my carpets but I do.

We know not what we have until it's gone...?

Amen...and F.M.

*gives a Short Wave of gratitude*

*Scratches her bonce, thinks hard (tappet like noises can be heard from inside Gwennie's head)*



Does this mean that if I am gone, I will be missed?


*Wonders how long she should be gone for*













*Bored*








Can I come back yet?

Hi Gwennie - you're back - we've really missed you


Pan, I know it's spring, but do you really think it's time for bikinis? A little weight loss first is always a bonus - from a real good friend

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It depends on how far away you go, Gwennie. If you go a mile, you *will* be missed, because a miss is as good as a mile.

Does this mean that I could be compared to a meteorite missing the Earth Paul?

*Is having trouble adjusting to a recent vision of a Hippopotamus! A great big grey hippopotamus sporting a ittybitzybikini! *

I like the smiley! Is it a new one? Shame that WR couldn't get his biker smiley though.

Hi Gwennie

I guess being a meteorite isn't too bad, at least you get to go places

The smiley has been around at least as long as I've been back. I tried to ask for a snail smiley - they've got one on MSN - to no avail!

I really think there ought to be a protest march about the lack of some smileys

I suppose I could compare myself to a meteorite, as after all bits of me do keep dropping off. Before anyone (Pan in particular) mentions the big, round and fiery meteoritic attributes, I am not referring to those similarities!

The hootoo powers that be must be inundated with requests for smileys although I would have thought that a biker smiley would have been very popular addition. I can picture it in my mind's eye too and don't think that it would be very difficult to create. Perhaps I could impose on my daughter (she's an art student) to design one and I could submit it to them up top?

Great idea You couldn't ask her for a snail smiley too, could you?

I'm an art society secretary (11 years) just written to all members saying I'm resigning Why have so much stress without pay?

What "bits" keep dropping off?

I'll ask my daughter but as she is just about to sit her AS level 2 examinations, so I'll most likely be fobbed off with an "I'm too busy to bother with your personal requests Mum!"

My daughter's website is here if you're interested but please don't leave any messages from your Mum's friend or she will shoot me for boasting about her in public www.tifaspage.co.uk

I don't know how old you are Shirps and it's rude to ask, isn't it but I am 47 going on 48 and really hate this getting old lark, which sucks big time! When I say that bits of me are dropping off, I mean they're trying to drop off - more like 'relocating' - downwards and sort of sagging or almost hitting the ground really!

I used to be secretary, treasurer and librarian for my work's Yoga club and found that it took up a fair amount of my time but I would imagine that an art society would be much more demanding. After his retirement, my Dad became secretary and treasurer for his local horticultural society but had to resign when it became too much for him. The trouble is that he ended up doing all the running around for the society and chasing up until he felt like he was going around in circles and disappearing up his own .

Oooh! I'd wait till she's done the exams - too risky to ask her now (teenage daughters, don't we just love 'em )

OK, I'll just say I'm sec of an Art Soc. & just happened to come across her page - as one does

Our Art Soc. site is www.radas.org.uk - & no, I am NOT the webmaster - I flatly refused to do more!

The trouble with clubs/socs. is that it is only the few that actually do anything! I asked our members (75 at present) for someone to volunteer to set up a practical for this coming June meeting - last September - no-one has come forward so I've hired another demonstrator!
I have a sendout to 79 members & 60 non-members sitting on my dining room table at present waiting to be collated .... & waiting .... Spent from 11 to 6 on Sunday (what a beautiful day OUTSIDE) sitting by the printer (INSIDE), churning out all my work ENOUGH MOANING!!!!

I don't blame your dad & that's just what I'm doing now!!! AGM is in September, they should have the letter by the weekend & I will wait by the floodgates for all the volunteers to coming pouring out - where's that sarcastic smiley .......

I'll go peek at your daughter's site .....

... VERY GOOD! You must be proud of her! I've put her on my favs site & will look through ALL when more time. How old is she? Very stylised painting - should do really well - has she thought about book illustration type work? Mind you, I suppose she will go to Art College first.

Gravity is the enemy of us all!
I used to have a chest - now it's slipped down and wrapped itself around my hips and is overflowing the waistband of my briefs!

"Do these trousers make my tummy look fat?"
"No dear, but a case of beer per week may have something to do with it...!"