h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's not easy. But I know the feeling - I can't come and look after you after your op as I promised as I have to play darts. Good job that by then I was expecting him to let me down, but it still hurts.

I think my pride will still be smarting from that one a long time after my heart stops hurting. And the way I put him first when he didn't deserve it - before my dogs, even my son. It will take a while before I forgive myself that as well.

Forgiving yourself is always a tricky one, I find. Even forgiving yourself for having loved an unworthy person.

"Better to have loved and lost than not loved at all"- I think this is very true.

I still can't believe it has happened. I think someone has substituted an evil robot for Jk..like on Bill and Ted second film.
despite the bright face I put on at work I am not coping awfully well.I've not slept for two nights.
Thanks for the kind words Azathoth.
If I forgive myself will I ever forgive JK? I have lost a friend as well as a lover.
I will keep in touch to see how things go for him at uni...despite everything I wish him no ill will.
Hope everyone has a good day better get back to work.

I always found forgetting to be harder than forgiving. And for me, I'd rather not fully forget some things that were helpful- you learn most from experience, don't you?

true Elly it is easier to forgive than forget but either will take some time.
I am trying to keep my mind on work but it's not easy

Is keeping in touch the right thing to do? I've found it easier to deal with knowing I've never got to see Bill again. Although I still hear about him occasionally through my parents, I just don't want to hear from him at all. He can rot in his own juices. Only of course, being a good-looking chap, he'll probably get another gf to abuse pretty much straight away.

The staying in touch question is always going to be an individual basis thing.

My bestest friend is someone I have some history with. There's still trust, love and respect there. Because she's the most amazing person.


The girl I was engaged to and left my heart in pieces and me rotting in my juices for a very long time, we tried being friends again but there was mixture of too much desire and too much resentment and shattered expectation on both sides.
I doubt we'll ever speak again.

for Az and Mina
I will still care so I would like to know he is ok. And he is a good friend so cannot wish him ill. I am just too soft for my own good.

Big for you Tabs.

Thanks looney..not sure I deserve it though...I feel I must be to blame in some part, just not sure what

I always feel that after you break up with someone, you need a period of absence from each other's lives no matter how good friends you are. It's hard to maintain a friendship after a break up just because there are too many mixed emotions involved. A break is good as it clears the air. Clears the situation and in a way just helpful for the individuals as they get time to grieve over the relationship if needs be without dealing with that person regularly.

The only thing you can do regarding what happened in the relationship is ask. There's no point second guessing yourself without knowing his side of the story. You probably did nothing wrong, but there was other issues going on that influenced his decision. Ask him and find out the truth.

Yes a break up is painful. I think the worse part is feeling that you're to blame, the recriminations and adjusting to single life again. You're a strong woman Tabs. You'll get over it. I guess its an experience that is a part of life. I wish it weren't

I am not even sure we have broken uo Kit...I can't get a straight answer to anything..I have tried. Sometimes people are just commitment phobic or just scared of being too close to someone else. Unfortunately that doesn't help the person left unsure .

but life has to go and so will I even though it can be tough some days i keep smiling

on this thread, if you have a week spare, nip in to my p/sloads of new stuff inc daft of course

Be kind to yourself.

That's the position I was in after xmas. Do you want to be with me, or not? Are we together, or not? In the end I had to draw a line under it as it was making me ill.

Stupid cow I am though, I still look at things and think 'that would be nice for Bill' and although I'm trying to resist, I bet I send a card for his birthday in a couple of weeks.

I thought it was getting better as an old flame contacted me recently and asked me if I'd attend a future and as yet unplanned internet meet up with him and that he'd like to take me out for a drink sooner rather than later.

So great, although he's a blast from the past, we only broke up because he was going travelling, so I thought a chance to try again, then he's not followed through with any concrete plans and I'm all down in the dumps again. Pooey.

it made me ill too Mina..so you are not stupid or anything else..just fell for the wrong person like I did. They are commitment phobic I think.When I asked what future we had if he wasn't prepared to move from home..he said he couldn't answer that.
Commitment phobics apparently choose independant women, either older or with children, so that they have an excuse for not moving in.Yet they are loving and kind when you first meet and when they are with you...but when they are away from you they are distant and refuse to be drawn into plans etc. Does this sound familiar?
one day Mina you will meet the right one for you..as for me I am too old now and I can't take any more of these knocks..this one has nearly finished me off.

Tabitca,
take time mourn this episode in your life.
you are stronger than you want to admit to yourself.
a man does not make you more, than you are already now.
you are a smart independent woman.

move on!

Just for once Pheloxi, I thought I had something in my life,just for me. All I've ever done is help and give to others...but it seems I give too much and by helping JK ,gave him the excuse not to be around.I created a monster, a frankenstein. Now I have to come to terms with that.
I lost someone because I helped them realise a chance for a new future.
The new future obviously doesn't include me even though they would have had no future if I hadn't helped.I am just in hell at the moment but I have to keep going,I have a job to do and a daughter to support.

That does sound like Bill, yes. He did jump into relationships with other women much more quickly than he did with me. He always said that I was the only woman not to wind him up so much that he lost his temper, and at the time I thought it meant we were made for each other. Then I look back and think I just didn't matter enough to him for him to care about what I did!