h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yet again, I've been offline a fair bit the past few weeks. This is mainly because we're in the middle of a major refit at work. Normally this tends to mean shutting up shop for about three days whilst some cowboys slot in a few new fixtures and slap about a few gallons of cream or grey paint. This time, though, we're being put at the cutting edge of the forefront of the state of the art of the industry, so it's more of a matter of gutting, extending, partially rebuilding and refitting the building. All the staff, meanwhile, undertake lots of training, retraining and teambuilding, as well as going out to be used as slave labour in neighbouring branches. If, like me, they're lucky, they get to use up a bit of holiday entitlement too.

Now, as you may know, I actually live (quite literally) above the shop. This has meant that I have had to put up with all kinds of contractors hammering, drilling, sawing, concreting, demolishing, bricklaying and generally being noisy at all hours of the day and - increasingly as they get further behind schedule - the night. In fact, almost all their energy seems to be expended in making noise, and very little on making any visible progress. As a result, I've spent as much time as possible away from home.

Ed, the project manager, is looking increasingly glum each time I see him wandering about the site. I'd feel sorry for him, but I can't help wondering if he has brought some of his problems on himself; little misfortunes such as discovering a structure that needed to be demolished was built of reinforced concrete and not rendered blockwork, not noticing that the floor levels varied in different parts of the building, and having the new fridges and freezers delivered before the new floor had been laid.

There have been a couple of other, less predictable, misfortunes along the way. Earlier this week, a pipe carrying concrete for laying the new floor suddenly burst and liberally coated half of Sidmouth high street in ready mix, and last night somebody managed to set the building alight with a bit of over-enthusiastic welding, I gather(luckily for me it was pretty minor and all sorted out before the Fire Brigade arrived).

All being well, the building should be handed back to us on Poets, when the hard work will begin for us getting ready to re-open on the sixteenth. Despite the pressure that will bring, I can't wait. Until then, I'll just have to keep using the earplugs and hope the whole place doesn't collapse.

*proffers and extra pillow and so neurofen*

Cheers, Clive! The noise levels have actually improved a bit as the new ceiling has now been put up downstairs. When the shop is reopened I shouldn't be able to hear a thing, but unfortunately it doesn't stop the sound of drills and hammers.

"the new ceiling has been put up downstairs"

Who do you work for - M.C Escher?

I live on the first floor; the shop is on the ground floor; the ceiling has been installed in the shop and thus prevents much of the noise from travelling up through my floor. Unfortunately, hammering and drilling tends to reverberate through the walls.

Clear enough for you?

Mind you, I'd love to live in a house designed by Escher. Just think, you'd never have to climb upstairs, you could just go down them until you reached the floor above!

"All being well, the building should be handed back to us on Poets"
Could we have that in English please? ::mutter mutter:: Bloody Thingites ::mumble::

As you well know, Poets is the day between Thing and Doobry.

They're not being too noisy tonight, I'm glad to say, nor have they caused any further conflagrations.

Well I know that the thing you call Thing is Thursday, so the other thing you call Poets must be Friday

Blimus, it fair wore me little brain out did that *faints* ::THUD::

A shiny new refit just for you. They must like you *grin*

At least they'll have it all done by the 26th which I have heard is the transmission date for the new Who. Mark says the PR machine goes into overdrive tomorrow, and that there should be a poster campaign starting at the weekend. Who fans everywhere will be out in force mugging the poor sods who put the damn things up

Argh!

I'm talking like Mark. Heeeeeeeelp!

Will Eris be watching the new Daleks or hiding behind the sofa like the rest of us?

I'm going to be one of those sad gits taping every programme junction on BBC1 tomorrow evening just to get the trailers! As for the posters, alas, I don't know where there's a BBC block-booked hoarding anywhere around here.

The way the building work is going I can quite see the contractors will still be here on the 26th. I've passed three of their project team outside this afternoon and the casual pleasantry 'Alright?' elicited the responses "Don't ask", "Not really" and "No". It seems things are going badly, mainly due to some less than competent work by the flooring contractors (following on from their infamous concrete incident). I'm not counting on getting access to the shop before the end of the week.

I assume by your current moniker that you've heard of the rudeness of CBC. Mark is also refusing to download, although he's tempted to do so after transmission.

I hope they get their backsides in gear for you. Can't be nice living above a building site.

How are things going now PF?

Well, we've got two days until we reopen. Nearly all the equipment's in and we've restocked all but the fresh food departments, but the contractors are still way behind. We compiled a snagging list for them this morning that ran to several pages. In fact there were two workmen painting the outside of the building this evening... after dark!

I hope they got the colour right! do you think it will open on time?

Oh yes, come what may!

They have missed a couple of bits,but apparently they'll be back to touch it up as soon as another set of contractors have finished the paving.

Sounds like a whole bunch of happy happy joy joy.

Oh yes!

So right about now you should be sleeping soundly with no extra construction noise? Enjoy!

Indeed!