h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oi... nutter!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3224745.stm

Another occasional series from Gosho, this time highlighting the pointless things people do (not quite the same as 'What were you thinking?')

This is more like "Why would you want to do that to yourself?"

Um, 26 miles is not the longest distance that
people can run. There are so-called ultra-marathons
that can go on for 100 miles or even more.

As for the wisdom of running marathons 4 months after
a heart attack, that's between the nutter and his
doctor. (If the doctor is crazy too, that's
a nutter story. )

He's like the ones I see out there on dangerously hot, muggy weather, or on the coldest day of the year.... "I can so I will, so look at me, wimps!"

One day a number of years ago, we were driving out in the country in the middle of a wild, wet snowstorm. I was about a mile out of the nearest town when, suddenly, out of the swirling snow, in the middle of my lane, appeared an elderly jogger, coming towards me. I slowed to a crawl, but the guy didn't slow, nor did he waver. I was forced to pull off the road because he just kept going.

I was tempted to go into the nearest OPP station and report him but didn't. I should have because, believe it or not..... About a week later, as we were driving in Ottawa in exactly the same weather the same guy... elderly man in the same outfit, jogging in the middle of the right-hand lane. This time, I had nowhere else to go. The plow had been by and there was a wall of snow blocking me from moving into the left lane and a huge snowbank between the lane I was in and the sidewalk.

I thought "To hell with you!", and stopped in the middle of the lane. The guy didn't waver or blink, but continued on jogging, just barely squeezing by me on the left. The sidewalk, I might add, was completely clear of snow.

Had I owned a cell phone in those days I would have called the police. I can only hope that this old fart doesn't meet up with someone who doesn't have a problem beating the crap out of stupid people....

Hmmmm.

I almost hit a jogger on a snowy day last winter.
He was running in the road, but jumped over a snowbank
when he saw me coming. He ran on the sidewalk after that.

I regularly take long walks, even in snowy weather.
However, I don't push my luck. If the sidewalks are
impassable, I go to a shopping mall and walk around inside.
I also go swimming three times a week. If you have more
than three people in a lane, it's hard not to bump into them.

This guy didn't even blink.... looked straight ahead and kept on going.

Actually, the other think that ticks me off are cyclists who want it both ways.... ride on the road, but don't obey the traffic laws... little things like stopping at stop signs and not driving on the sidewalks.

... and the ones all done up to the nines as though they were racing for the yellow shirt and riding on the street with a bicycle path 4 feet from them.

The best bunch of idiots were the 5 guys out for a cycle in the Gatineau Hills on a road clearly marked "No Bicycles", 10 feet from a dedicated path, and riding 5 abreast up a steep hill blocking not only the right lane, but the oncoming lane, as well. They all gave us the finger when we honked at them, indicating we would like to go more than 3 km an hour following them.

I was seriously hoping for an SUV to crest the hill and take 3 of them out. Sadly, wghen we crested the hill and saw no one approaching, we went around them and they continued to ride unscathed. Drat!

If they're young (as most bicyclists seem to
be), the shoe will be on the other foot for
them someday after they start driving and have
to contend with bicyclists who get in *their*
way.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3272357.stm

Oi... nutter!!!

I understand that sharks like nuts....

He'd better be wearing Speedos instead of Bermuda shorts then

I don't know WHAT you mean...

Um, I can remember the days when a lot of
people had all they could do just to swim the
English Channel, or swim from the Bahamas
to the coast of Florida.

This guy is way more ambitious than that.
I fear that he's going to get himself killed.
What if he gets caught in rogue ocean currents?
What is he going to eat during the long treks
across the oceans?

To say nothing about getting caught in typhoons,
hurricanes, and the 30-foot waves kicked up by
windstorms.

At least he will be able to avoid hypothermia by
swimming mostly in the tropics.

At my chiro's office, yesterday, I began reading the 2004 Guinness Book of World records (all the Calvin and Hobbes were spoken for).

I noticed that the Committee no longer accepts records for "World's Fastest Round-the-World on a Bicycle" challenge or "World's Fastest Round-the-World in a Car" challenge. It does, though, accept records for "World's Fastest Round-the-World on a Water Bike" (jet-ski) and "Fastest Ascenet of Mount Everest".

Events not sanctioned:

events that involve people squeezing into small spaces
nominations for "World's Heaviest Cat" (or any other animal)
records for being buried alive
any records relating to chain letters

Ah, but swimming from one continent to another
across thousands of miles of ocean is quite a lot
different than driving your car from Boston to
Seattle, or even from Calais to Vladivostock.
Very few cars get eaten by sharks, or swallowed by
30-foot waves.