Journal Entries
I am shaking....
Posted Apr 11, 2005
OH LORD!!!
An editor at a Denver paper just called me, in response to my cover letter and resume... And...
Oh boy...
I have an interview set up. For tomorrow. He suggested I am best suited for an Assistant position... above Journalist...
It'd be a significant cut in pay, but I'll be using what I know, not what I've been trained to do!!!
Dad thinks this could mean no more Antarctica. We'll have to wait and see. It will probably mean no more volunteering abroad. For this point in life. I can give the gig a couple of years... and well, who knows!??
YAY!!!!
...I am STILL shaking... STILL....
Discuss this Journal entry [110]
Latest reply: Apr 11, 2005
Re-Thinking the Future....
Posted Apr 8, 2005
(What it comes down to, I think, is that I have so much potential and mobility right now, that I want to maintain the momentum as long as possible....)
... I'm re-thinking what paths I want to carve out of this life... I've been reading "Delaying the Real World" (my awesome long time friend and confidante, Julie, sent me a link that related to this book... THANK YOU, LOVE!!!!)...
And... thinking again how much I love the thought of non-profit work.
It's what I wanted to do after I "got" my BA last May...
I know I'd be great at the poetry professor position OR in non-profit. I'm lucky in that I get to experience both without great commitment. There is the potential for greatness and creativity in both. I'll have to sift through my goals and values...
I have been perpetually blinking at non-profits, thinking, "I want to help with that..." for years now. I know that as a prof I'd be doing the same: ::blink, blink...::: "Now when can I cram that into my schedule!??"
So perhaps that is my calling in life (second only to writing)...
I admire both professors and non-profit workers.... I want to do what they do...
I am excited about both, and must educate myself further. What matters most is that I don't stop being a productive, publishing poet and that I am happy with my work, my life.
Anyway... sending this your way with hopes for your good health and safety... and hopes that maybe you could give me some input... even just an opinion.
Maybe I'll start my own bloody non-profit... for poetry professors. 
Discuss this Journal entry [27]
Latest reply: Apr 8, 2005
Info Request: Paid Volunteer Abroad
Posted Apr 4, 2005
Anyone know of any volunteer abroad programs that offer any form of income!?? ... I've heard rumors that they exist, but the ones I have found are either somewhere I'm not terribly thrilled to explore, or, they are for commitments that are more lenghty than I consider manageable at this time.
Locations I am most interested in: Thailand, Ghana, Brazil and Peru.
Length of stay: 1-2 weeks.
Cheers!!!
Discuss this Journal entry [10]
Latest reply: Apr 4, 2005
Hootoo is smurf-tastic
Posted Apr 1, 2005
At the Garden Center were I work, we have long wanted to establish "titles" for all the employees. During C-mas, we were going to be reindeer (I wanted to be Dasher... but I think I was possibly going to be Dancer....), but that didn't happen.
Yesterday, the manager over General Merchandise called one of my co-w*rkers Grumpy and the other Doc. For a couple hours, my department brainstormed on distributing Snow White and the Seven Dwarves names... and then...
The Smurfs seemed a better fit. Works better with the Garden Center concept (mushrooms, anyway... 
). We TRIED our best to think of ALL the smurfs, but the best we came up with (and wow, does my manager have a great memory!!!) were: Brainy, Smurfette, Papa, Baby, Hefty, Harmony, Vanity, Painter.... and.... Poetry.
I did not believe in this Poetry Smurf. HA!!! I was quite incredulous, because I could not remember him. It was rather painful that I could not access the Internet, or anyone with access to the Internet, until hours later when I was on campus again.
I ran a few searches on google that were more miss than hit. No rosters from Smurf Village, until I searched for "Who are the Smurfs?" Entry number one!??.... from hootoo.
I should have just searched on hootoo in the first place.
.... And there is no Poetry Smurf. He's Poet Smurf.
So I get the honor of that appellation.... the store manager's apparently promised to buy us t-shirts. And our smurfy names will go on each. I am bloody excited. 
It's a little like being in high school again, and looking forward to marching band t-shirts, or to those groovy graduation (Class of 1998, me!!! YEYUH!!!) t-shirts, with everyone's name on the back.
::sigh:: Sometimes it's the simple things in life... I want to find a picture of Poet Smurf now. YAY!!!
Discuss this Journal entry [25]
Latest reply: Apr 1, 2005
"Everyone will love you, given the chance."-- Dragonfly's bestest friend
Posted Mar 31, 2005
"Everyone will love you, given the chance. But you
slam so many doors when you jump from one exclusive
immature relationship to the next and block out
everyone in your life because of it. You wouldn't
bank the way you date. If you want a successful
relationship, look at it as a business deal. That is
really what they are."
Hopefully that helps out other people, in addition to helping out me.
Does it suck, or what, when you KNOW you've learned and learned and learned and still you want to give (even though you do get petrified about it!!!) and share and learn more... and then... oh I dunno.
I really did have a point.
It'd been argued that your little Dragonfly is boy crazy, and/or lonely.... OOOOOoooo.... well, there are worse things. It's funny, because it's true to an extent.
I'll flirt. I'll fantasize.
But holy 
am I, for the most part, a little goody-goody.
(Until it's determined you are my boyfriend )
So I guess I am boy crazy... I WANT love... There is a bit of that.
In EVERYONE.
I'm a little hung up on something. I don't know what.
I have a WONDERFUL WONDERFUL life, rife with potential. And it's exciting. I have said dozens of times, without regret or a tinge of sadness that my life's just, well, just enough for me to handle solo right now. It'd be stupid to pull a significant other into it until I'm in grad school...
Anyway. The wonderful life. I've been grateful for what I have. After my bestest friend's email (a response to my request for advice), though, I'm a little down.
It's like "Ah... crap... you're right... I do have that problem, and I'm not going to have what I subconsciously keep breaking my emotional back for until I get over--"
Well, it's guilt that I have to move past... Tremendous guilt that if I don't do right by the guy I'm with, that if I'm not 100% dedicated, then I'm rotten and I've no right to any of his time.
The bestest friend argues I have to allow myself to look at the dating thing like it's a buffet table-- I don't have to just order one dish and feel obligated to enjoy it and only it and do my best to swallow as much as I can manage.
It's hard to get over that. I've all ready tried those goggles on and then after "tasting" something I like, I still have the "get stuck" tendancy.
::sigh::
And there's still a bit of me that flinches at all the work and exposure of any experience that could be romantic.
Ha. What would be nice would be to just go to sleep and wake up and "Ah. There you are. Hi."
But that's just the fairy tale, wot!??
I'll be fine.
I don't know what this journal really is. A rant!?? A lesson!?? Both!??
Maybe I'm down on MYSELF... I feel I should be ready for love. The bestest prescribed experience and maturity for me, not love. She could be right with the former. I don't know about the latter; I do believe my maturity just hasn't been tested properly.
Well... now that I type that...
It's not maturity that I have. It's the impulse and intention to please him as much as I can. That's a far, hair-raising cry from maturity. ...
Discuss this Journal entry [48]
Latest reply: Mar 31, 2005
Dragonfly. "A poet can survive everything but a misprint"-- Oscar Wilde
Researcher U98816
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