h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

that's awful!

Love it! Can you email me the others at [email protected]

3

Just take a sick bag with you next time you cheak your mail!

Hey Techni, don't forget the one you made up about the dog that got onto sickjokes.com

What? You mean *clears throat*


What's got 2 legs and bleeds?

Half a dog.

Love 'em. You're my kind of joker.

3

D'you fancy being on my 'crap jokes mailing list'? Its only about 20 people (Helena's on it). It's just me mailing crap and/or tasteless jokes to people as and when I hear them/rip them off the net.

Definately!

3

OK, stand by for a torrent of shite into your mailbox.

(I'm exaggerating)

He's not exaggerating but it is a torrent of shite well worth reading

And I meant the one about the dog drink.

I've just found a funny web page, http://www.ae.utexas.edu/~london/humor/TheFarsideInOregon.html
I'ts a bit like the page of the exploading whale but its a story not a video.

ooo! ooo! Sign me up too! ( [email protected] )

OK.


Ahh, the *other* dog one.



Q. How do you make a dog drink?




A. Put it in a blender.

::laughs::

How do you make a cat go woof?






Soak it in petrol and light a match





How do you make a dog go meow?




Put it through a circular saw

3

I don't believe you, prove it (the dog one that is). Then if it works we can get techni to make us a dog drink

Brilliant, I hadn't heard the last one.

A man was handing down the family business to
his son.
"Now Jim," the father said, "just watch as I deal
with this customer."
A man entered the shop and asked for a packet
of grass seeds. The father handed them to him
and asked if he wanted a lawn mower, to which
the man replied, "Why would I need one of
those?"
"Oh," the father said "these grass seeds grow
really fast." The man accepted the deal and left
£80 worse off.
The son of the shop keeper took over at the
counter, when another customer walked in.
"Could I possibly have a packet of Tampax
please." he requested "Certainly Sir," the young
boy said "and will you want a lawn mover with
that?"
The stunned man retorted, "Why?"
"Well sir," the boy said, "You'll be doing f**k all
else this weekend, you might as well cut the
grass."

::giggles:: those are great

What do elephants use as tampons?


















Sheep

3

YUCKY!!!!!!!!!!

Why do elephants have trunks?





Because sheep don't have strings.

ok .... that's even worse ... ICK!