h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A girl goes to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor tells her, "Big breaths" and she replies "Yeth. And I'm only thixteen"

3

Q Why don't women have a piss in the morning?

A Have you ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Thast's SICK!

I like it

eeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!!

Ditto

3

Any more of them up your sleeve?

I'VE BEEN APPOINTED HEAD COOKIE TASTER BY FENCHURCH!!!!

Sorry I had to get that off my chest

Oooo ... by Fenchurch? Well ... Greg has been proclaimed the official wiper of other people's bottoms by ME! ::laughs:: lets see what he has to say to that.

Yup by the mayor herself!

I'm glad I'm a skeleton and don't have to worry about strangers running up to me and trying to wipe my arse, even if they have been proclaimed official bottom wipers

oh, but I'm sure Greg would be good at that

You know, that's almost as bad as Technicoloryawn's joke!

I don't care how good he would be, I don't need my arse wiping and I don't want it wiped, so please leave me alone or I will introduce my friend The Grim Squeaker (he bites)!

What was Technicoloryawn's joke?

8 posts ago.

Q. What's Mary short for?










A. Because she's got no legs.

I have sicker jokes, but they're about babies and don't always go down well.

Am I allowed to tell them?

Mary had a little lamb
Her case comes up next friday.

Mary had a little lamb
A pizza and some prunes
A glass of milk, a piece of pie
And then some macaroons
It made the happy waiters grin
To see her order so
And when they carried Mary out
Her face was white as snow

Mary had a little lamb
She kept it in her back yard
And every time she took her pantyhose off
(I think you know where this is going...)

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Up, stupid

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells and cockle shells
And one lousy petunia

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
Wilder and wilder as the weather gets milder
It's quite full of weeds, don't you know?

These are the Mary jokes I can think of off the top of my head.

3

::smiles and nods::

Mary had a little lamb,
She fed it on cream crackers.
And every time it dropped a crumb
She kicked it in the knackers.




Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantlepeice
To see if they would fu--(Ahem..)

My goodness

Nothing changes, just what ever you do don't let him tell you the baby jokes. I mean it, especially here where anyone can read it, there would be a riot followed by a public stoning, and I can't be bothered do do any work

If your curiosity overwhelms you (just think of the cat) get him to mail them to you.

Oh dear, how did I know this day would come

What's pink and can't go down narrow passages?


A baby with a spear throught it's neck.


And that's a nice one.