h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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I hope that's why boys seem to avoid me like the plague.

Rest assured that I'm synthesising all your responses. I've got a long way to go before deciding on a course of action, though.

He and I are both going to the same party this weekend - maybe the out-of-school setting will help my thought processes.

All of my girlfriends have always been good friends first, and all except one are still good friends of mine. They were really just very good friendships really.

Its a pity because the one i was with for about a year is the one I don't talk to anymore. I havre tried, but its just strange.

Thanks for that, Orange; it's very heartening.

Just play it by ear, flirt a little and if he's secretly thinking about you along those sorts of lines and sees you flirting he'll probably flirt back. From there it'll starting spiralling the way you want it to! If you flirt and he doesn't respond he either doesn't think of you in that way or its just because he's being dense and doesn't notice your hints! (And believe me being male I've done that more than once myself!)

Have a good time at the party this weekend EMR...and good luck

Hi,

As a guy in my mid thirties who has extensively researched the whole friendship/romance thing for many years, I'd like to offer some words of wisdom pertinent to your situation.

Sadly, however, I don't have any, 'cos I've still got no idea what I'm doing. Maybe that's just me, but I suspect not-knowing-what-we're-doing when it comes to love is pretty much part of the human condition. Still, I don't mean that to sound pessimistic - ambling around aimlessly can work out fine too.

Btw, regarding humour and the holocaust (apparently an impossible oxymoron, I know), a great film I saw recently was 'Life is Beautiful.'It seems to put into practice very well the idea that Mel Brooks has described, regarding humour being a very effective way of attacking the ridiculous delusions of fascism, etc. Also, Monty Python's 'Meaning of Life' and, especially I think, 'Life of Brian', as well as being great comedies, do in my view present quite genuine and profound philosophical viewpoints which can be adopted to great benefit. I could continue at great length, but would certainly soon begin to burble incoherently, as it's kind of difficult to put this stuff into words, but I imagine from what you've written you probably know what I mean.

Anyway, best wishes

Phil

I bought Life Is Beautiful from Play.com a few weeks back, still not come round to watching it. Must do it soon if you say its that good. Certainly Monty Python films (not the Flying Circus) had something to say, or at least something to satirise because traditionally surrealist humour isn't making a point, its just taking the mick - but then again they are smart boys.

There's the other half of what Cardi-Bling has to say, and that is for most mammals (not just human beings), the instinctual courting ritual almost always involves the male indulging in a little pursuit, the female running away ha ha ha...

Interestingly enough this works perfectly well between two men.

Since you are applying your brain to this boy, instead of or in addition to just doing a few tentative flirts; start omitting small things from your normal relationship in such a way as to force *him* to actively do something if he wishes to continue. This may result in either an actual or a metaphorical pursuit. I mention this because you said you didn't wish to be girly, and flirting almost always comes off that way, because it's coy.

That's a really good point, Sea Change. I'll have to stop talking to him on IM whenever he signs on. In all seriousness, though, I like that idea very much.

He didn't show up to the party, incidentally. We were at a quizbowl tournament all day and he was exhausted. So was I, but I went anyway - it was fun. We watched a very funny movie called The Birdcage. Anyway... we did reasonably well with quizbowl. 4th place out of a very competitive 10, though I was upset with myself because I didn't answer a single question in the final match.

I should really stop thinking about myself so much ... thanks everyone for bearing with my being a teenager.

It's my own crotchety and idiosyncratic point of view that because women's hemispheres are better connected to each other, it takes a longer while for them to settle in on a coherent-self-personality. This is why women are always supposing men have something deeper on their mind that you can see on the surface, and they are wrong-our connections are too narrow for that and your boy is solidifying as we speak; LeoAlpha does have a *very* valid point. BTW, I say this as a Ms subscribing, abortion-clinic defending, and National Women's HIstory Museum founding member kinda feminist and not in any derogitory way. Women 25-35 years, Men 16-21 years.

Keep up on the self-examination, and wire-up-yourself an ausgezeichnet cerebrum. There are plenty of self-absorbed teens who don't do that self-examination thing, at all.

This was all preying on my mind for weeks and weeks, and it was getting to be too much.

So I told him.

He said that he had considered asking me out before, but that he'd decided that he was nervous about how it might work out and that he valued our friendship more. I think I agree. He said that he was always willing to talk.

I feel so relieved now. I'm just happy that he didn't hate me for it.

Communication! The key to all relationships.


az

That was gutsy of you, EMR!

Shame it didn't work out but I bet its a relief to get it off your mind. He doesn't know what he's missing EMR but he must be a good friend if he didn't panic at all.

I hope that we can actually become better friends, and talk about stuff and that sort of thing.

I'm getting better at making friends these days - I actually hung out at a friend's house with people today.

I think it's h2g2 that's helped me to open up.

thats h2g2 for you, always happy to help!

That thing you wrote about being in . Are you still 16 and what does he think about it?

Yeah, I'm still 16. That won't change till next February.

I said what happened above. Things are pretty much the same as before now.

It looks like you're getting plenty of sound advice I could do with some advice like that myself I finished a long term relationship a couple of years ago and things have changed since I last cast my eye towards the opposite sex I'm female, by the way, and I'm not gay. Please to meet you. Shakes . If my daughter were a local lass I would ask her advice but she's far too busy with her boyfriend at the moment. They are in which I think is . Some of the earlier posts are missing.

Have you started going out with this person you were wondering about yet?

Oh! I've just read Tony's post. Well, to be philosophical, if it didn't work out it was for a reason. i.e. there's a much better fella out there for you.



as you can see there are hundereds of them.
It is finding the right one that is the problem.