h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's far too early in my morning to remember any jokes. But if you want to spend some time, F16034?thread=76493 has about 7 years of jokes.

A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing.

The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."

That priest promised me that he wouldn't tell ANYONE !!! Sheesh, ya can't trust anyone.

the first joke I came across was about social workers and how many it took to change a light bulb the answer they dont do lightbulbs but that they had bought out a paper for people afraid of the dark made me laugh its so true......thank you

Just as I am going to bed now ...

How many MicroSoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The either call it a new feature, or they change the standard to 'darkness'.

Ya have to be a to really appreciate that one.

Evening Nic....how goes your part of the world I went to a town meeting the other night .. Tom had just finished filling up the water doing oil etc on my car ...I screwed the cap for the water on but apparently not all the way.... on my way back home the engine went off the scale so I slowed right down and nursed her all the way home turns out once the pressure had built up in the radiator and then blown the lid off that in turn meant the oil over heated in the engine....so now I am waiting to see how much damage I have done but I may need a new engine if the good Lord doesn't take pity on me....at present I can't do more than 40k's an hour which considering where we live means It will take all day just to get to town and back just to check the mail

I have decided not to apply for the other job and I am going to cut back on some of my other activites too and slow down a little I am looking forward to blasting snoopy songs out across the orchard while I work ...

My second assignment is starting to shape up so now I need to setlte down and see if I cant get a handle on some of the things I need for exams

Our govt has just bought in a new budget and boy can you tell that an election is due later this year

I am afraid, m'dear, that your car engine may have seen the best of it's days have gone now. Once the oil burns off from so much heat, damages happen to the moving metal parts. Parts which need to be machined to nearly perfection to begin with. Sadly, such things happen to the most careful of folks.

I am pleased to hear that you have opted to slow down a bit. If you keep running about at full speed, you too can burn out and then are no good to anyone. NOT a situation you or your family could want. Even I, a simple male, finally realized that I couldn't do everything, be everything, at once. I've learned to recognize the onset of burn-out, and when to ease off a bit.

I am curious as to how long for that Sopwith Camel to reach your corner of the world. Usually, 7 calendar days gets a small packet to the UK by air-mail, but you are appreciably further away. So, 8 days travelling so far ...

And don't you just love the pre-election budgets? It's nearly better than Christmas for some folks.

Hurray Hurray Nic is back does a small snoopy dance,,,,oh darn it I missed you but Hootoo is being very naughty at present....loosing postings....not revealing threads and then there is the 7.30am fade out all very annoying.

We are going to try the wonder liquid Tom bought home last night this moring keep your fingers crossed it worked last time the head had blown and it saved us $6,000 so the good Lord willing it will do teh job again.

The alternative leader to our country bought out his Christmas present budget promises last night they are even more spectacular.....mmmmmm let me see do I want impossible green house immisions targets for Christmas or wapping big tax cuts that will need suspending six months after the election....hard one this

My grandfather said often ... You end up having to vote for who will inflict the least harm. For a number of years, our Liberal party was a safe bet, as they did nothing at all !!! Well, except for fill their pockets, and those of their friends and family. When much of that came to light, the next-lesser-evil came in to power. Pretty sad, isn't it? Voting for your leadership and governing by pessimism.

I do wish you loads of luck with the "Miracle Engine Drink". If the metal parts haven't yet been strained beyond tolerances, you may get another number of miles out of the 4-wheeled girl. (All vehicles being female, of course)

not if they don't work then there male

Several people including my hubby have suggested I trade her in but I think going into debt all over again for say $20,000.00 when I only have three car payments left on this one is idea especially if needs must i can replace the engine cheaper

Besides I love my marygold shes the first car I have ever owned

There often comes a time when you have to look at the real costs ... Are the continuing repairs worth far more than the value of the car itself? Perhaps equalling the cost of a used but still new'ish machine? I generally have looked for something that is 3 to 5 years old, and working well. it has had any factory bugs worked out, and will then be less expensive to buy and give us quite a number of years before serious costs arise. Only you and your man can know that, in your environment, economy and such. The car that I am now driving cost a bit more than I wished at the time ... '98 ... for a 3-year-old car. But I needed something that I could count on to get my wife around safely. Well, she drove it for 7 years with only reasonable maintenance costs. And when my old girl (an '86 model) got too shakey for safety, I found a good newer one for milday. And have continued with her left-overs for nearly 2 years. It gives every expectation of getting another 3 to 5 reasonable years from her. Not too bad for a '95 model.

Ahhha see I knew I should keep her up until my stupidity she hasn't cost me anything well except for the usual tyres, windscreen wipers etc.

So The weekend is nearly here I am off to help out a friend today and then have dinenr and go to teh movies with my son what are your plans

One more work day, and then what-ever the week-end brings. My time is usually planned for me, ... by milady or circumstances. I will only know after it all.

Have a fine time, and enjoy the movie, ... what-ever it proves to be.

We are going to take pot luck....same as my next election choice lucky for me we have been going to teh movies together for a long time as we are both movie nuts and we enjoy similar things though he did have to work hard to get me to see pirates of the carabean I just font do horror, occult,or doomsday smash em up and killem kind of movies....funnily enough the last few times he and his girlfirend have been up for a visit he has put musicals on for her

Yes thats right my big tough 16 year old 6 foot green eyed blond boy enjoys musicals....and caitlyn is slowly being persuaded of the joys of west side story, guys and dolls and seven brides for seven brothers....somehow though I dont think he will share this info with his mated on the work sites

ooohh just read that back forgot to spell check too busy hitting F5 as Hootoo continues to be naughty

Well Hootoo is getting progressively worse so I will tkae that as sign I should go back to bed for an hour or two catch you later Nic have a good one

No worries about spelling ... I can always easily understand what you say.

Personally, I do like a good action movie (not a 'blow them away' type) and also horror flicks that have a story and much suspense. Of course, my prettier half likes chick-flicks, and I tolerate them for her sake.

'Tis now time to make a simple supper ... fish'n'chips. Enjoy everything, m'dear.

Hiya, little girl. It's now probably waaaay past your bed-time. But how was your week-end?

We put in a fairly solid day ion the gardens, preparing flower beds and the the like. I embedded a few bed-edgings of scalloped concrete, the missus even got so much energy that she washed both cars.

And now today, will be a quiet one. Here, it is Mother's Day, and when she returns from church, I will take her out for brunch. Our Air Force club puts on eggs, bacon, sausage, ham, fried taters, toast, coffee, tea, and orange juice (with for the Ladies). The ladies eat for free, and walk away with a little ornamental gift of some sort. My meal will cost perhaps $4. It's a nice time, sitting next to who-ever else arrives, and just chatting, getting to sometimes know newer folks.

And then after a loungy day in the sun, I'll make her a BBQ supper of steak, mushrooms, onions and perhaps sliced and seasoned spuds. I know, she isn't MY mother, but she has always been a much better one to my daughter than an ex-wife ever was.

Enjoy your day

Hello, first off your gift arrived thank you very much I picked it up from the post office on Saturday morning but as the last time I went to town to check the mail was on Tuesday I can't tell you what day it arrived. Have listened to only part of it so far as my daughter has made off with it and I have yet to get it back

Now as to why I am awake I am writing a letter off to a reporter who did a two page story in Saturdays paper that basically told the greater community that those of us who choose to home educate our children are not only incompetent fringe lunatics unable to properly educate our children but that our children are also at greater risk of neglect ARGHH okay you get the picture....

I am glad you had such a lovely day I too enjoyed a wonderful day of breakfast in bed a big favourite with me, a lovely lunch with my folks and lounging around all this evening watching DVD’s.

Oh my goodness I just spell checked this and for the first time in my life I got properly right wonder if I should go for proabley to..... Damn I tried and missed...... but maybe by spelling improves when I am angry

Well its after 1 and I am off to buy a new car either today or tomorrow so I had better get some sleep yes you read right Marigold is going apparently there isn't an engine in the state to replace it and it would cost us $7,000.00 to bring one in which considering the age of my car is just not reasonable....whish I hadn't spent that money on pannel beating now

Catch you on the flip side

HooRoo LRHG PS I wont be so grumpy then