h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I've found a strong contender for Coffee Quest.

I have found somewhere nearby which meets lots of the criteria.

1) It's nearby
2) They never pour milk in your coffee
3) The coffee itself is really good
4) It's not a chain shop
5) The staff are lovely
6) The price is reasonable
7) They have proper cream buns

Number seven was never one of the original criteria, but I think it deserves bonus points!

Describe what you mean by 'proper', with regard to the cream buns

Can you add milk to your coffee if you want it, though?

Are you seriously asking KB to describe a cream bun? I don't think I could stand it. They don't exist here in Germany - at least they can't get the cream right - and I would so love one now and then.

And now it's jam doughnut season, chances of anything light and fluffy are diminishing.

Maybe I'll go to Ireland one day for a cup of coffee and a cream bun.

I certainly am. I miss them and need a reminder

Here's a link to a recipe for cream buns:
http://www.food.com/recipe/cream-buns-213591

Here's another link that makes me think the bun has cream inside:
http://christinascucina.com/2012/11/cream-buns-scottish-favourite.html

Could someone find a way of ordering the buns and then filling them with fresh local cream?

A proper cream bun: let's see...

The epitome of a 'proper' cream bun would be something like the noble chocolate eclair. with a light choux pastry, which has a sort of rough, irregular surface with little 'peaks'. Full of fluffy, unflavoured whipped cream, and dark chocolate on top.

While you can get eclairs in supermarkets, they are very stodgy. They are also very regular and cylindrical (I presume because they are pumped out of a tube by the thousand), so the rough, irregular appearance is a clue that you might have a dead good one on your hands.

It should also look far bigger than you think you could eat, but that's because it's so light.

TC, you can get good cream buns in Germany. I remember waking up early in Hannover and sneaking out quietly to bring coffee and cream buns back for breakfast for everyone. It was a very popular decision, as I recall!

Paul- oh yeah! They will give you milk if you like. It's just a personal thing as I don't take milk. A lot of the other places just put milk in without asking. Or sometimes, they ask, and if you don't want milk they just pour lots of extra water in. That one drives me mad.

the nearest thing we would have to that in Germany - unless you don't mind having an eclair with pastry cream instead of dairy cream - is a windbeutel, which is just a giant choux bun, cut in half and filled with a massive dollop of whipped cream.
At least, round here it is.

My perfect coffee shop is in our little town - it's actually a cafe, and they do beer and stuff too (typical for Germany) but their coffee is excellent. As is their hot chocolate. And they sell the best baked cheesecake (and because we're regulars the pieces he gave us yesterday were ginormous)

I'm afraid I'm no coffee-drinker, so I'm not a good judge of coffee. Just as important as the beverage in your cup is the atmosphere of the place, the friendliness of the staff and the presentation of both drinks and cakes.

Thanks to this thread, I have come to realise that "cream bun" is a generic term. It's definitely something light, although calorific, and the recipe you linked to, Paul, had a yeast dough, which would imply a heavier, more solid affair. Obviously the antipodeans have a very different slant on the cream bun.

As sho says, an eclair would be a very good cream bun - which is practically a Windbeutel in elongated form with chocolate on the top. Possibly an angel cake-based bun would fall under the same category, but not a bath bun or a bakewell tart, for example, no matter how much cream you dolloped on them.

"A lot of the other places just put milk in without asking." [KB]

That would drive me mad. I'm glad that you've found a place where they at least ask, and resist the urge to dilute with water. Not that I would mind dilution necessarily, as most ordinary coffee is dark roast, which can be too strong for me.

You can probably tell that finding a really good cup of coffee is important for me.

There's another one which I think might be just a Belfast (or NI anyway) thing: the "cream cookie".

It's an odd name, because it's not a cookie of any description. It's basically a round white soft white bread roll - ordinary unsweetened bread - sliced in half, filled with whipped cream, and topped with a bit of jam and a shaking of icing sugar. Those are quite tasty too. I haven't had one since I was about 8!

I think I have slightly plain peasant tastes. Vienna is known for excellent baked goods, and it's true, they are excellent - but some of them are so rich and sweet you can tell they were probably invented for Habsburg emperors!

...Another hallmark of a good cream bun: if you have a beard, moustache, or both, you should need to go and wash your face after eating it.

Ah, thanks for that KB. Pretty much how I remember them now you've jogged my memory

I have, since moving here, become rather fond of the Boston creme [sic] donut [sic]

I love Boston cream pies and analogous donuts.

"Analogous donuts" - I think they went on tour with Inspiral Carpets and Happy Mondays around 1991!

Yep, played The Forum in Kentish Town around that time Fantastic band

Are you thinking of Analogy?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analogy_(band)

KB your cream cookie is what I'd call a cream bun.
I too like Boston Creme donuts - I usually take a box of 12 of the Dunkin' variety to work on the first of the month when most of my team have to work stupid hours. As a way of saying sorry for pushing off early at 6pm

We are so much on the same page.

I have a pretty easy and free definition of "cream bun", I think. Anything sort of pastry/bun-like goes, as long as it contains cream. Fresh cream that is - not Grenache or buttercream or any of that stuff. (That can all be too, of course! But I wouldn't really think of it as a cream bun.)

I haven't had a Boston creme for ages...