h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's the only word I can use to sum up my response to the Irish presidential election. Michael D. Higgins won by a mile - and I think he'll be a decent president. He's a guy with a bit of dignity.

But what a weird election campaign! Dana ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOnvZt1ktZw ) had an accident where her car tyre blew out - and she was convinced that it was an assassination attempt. She drove around everywhere with this punctured tyre in the boot of the car, posing for photo ops. I'm not sure who'd even bother to try to do her in. She was basically the Monster Raving Loony Party candidate. But I'm glad she was firmly rejected by the people. Anybody who thinks Pope Ratzinger is too liberal should never be in office. And was I the only one who cringed when she said "I'll use my experience from Eurovision to bring people together"?

The Fianna Fáil party. I'm glad *they* were firmly rejected by the people, too. ("Fianna Fáil", by the way, is Gaelic for "Soldiers of Destiny". That's a piece of pretentiousness that always makes me chuckle.) For most of the 20th Century, FF have been the major governing party. The party of Eamon de Valera and Charlie Haughey - so with two devious buggers like that to their credit it might be no surprise they were up to their necks in bribery, corruption, and nudge-nudge-wink-wink. If you wanted planning permission for an apartment block you didn't submit an application to the local authority - you gave a few hundred pounds to your brother-in-law who's a FF councillor.

Now, at the last election for government, the electorate told FF where to go. So much so that they didn't even dare to run a candidate in the presidential election because they knew it would be a humiliation. But there was an "independent" candidate, an entrepreneur who appeared on the show Dragon's Den, who was a fundraiser for the Soldiers of Destiny. I wouldn't buy a used car from him, I'll tell you that much. *He* was firmly rejected, too.

The Fine Gael party: I mentioned the pretentiousness of the name Fianna Fáil (soldiers of destiny), but FG see their stakes, and raise them: "Tribe of the Gael". The only good thing about Fine Gael is that they are not Fianna Fáil. And the only good thing about Fianna Fáil is that they are not Fine Gael. I find FG a bit distasteful - in the 1930s they were the heart and soul of the Irish fascist movement. They've progressed since then, but in the 1970s they were still saying that "blow-ins" - that is, immigrants - should either "blow out, or blow up". And much more recently than that the party leader was talking about "n'ggers". I really wouldn't trust Fine Gael. So I'm glad *they* took a hammering, too.

I'm fascinated by the demise of Fianna Fáil, though - I don't think they can ever recover. The Irish political landscape is being transformed, and not before time!

Michael D. Higgins, the new president, was a Labour party member. But as soon as he was elected he resigned from the party, because he reckons his job is to represent *all* the people, not just those in one political party. I think the guy has a bit of integrity.

Trig put it better than I ever could:

"When you're in trouble, go for a short academic poet".

I've earwormed myself with "all kinds of everything" now.

Wow. Sounds like a hopeful outcome.

Thanks for the eloquent summary. That's a big help to an outsider who doesn't know the ins and outs.

On into the Century of the Fruitbat, anyone?

I'm a couple of years too young, otherwise I would have stood for election myself. I would be quite good at looking grumpy and stern at international summits. And I'd be even better at standing behind pompous people tickling them when the cameras are on them.

How old do you have to be to be eligible?

You have to be 35. But I lack the patience to be a good ambassador anyway - "P'ss off and stop being such a drama queen" isn't in the United Nations handbook of tact and diplomacy.

I suppose you are too old to change your ways, now. I am sure that Northern Ireland is relieved. Oh are NI diplomats incorporated into the UK's scheme then or ...?

I should have put myself forward! But my name's not Mary.

I'd vote for you Beatrice! You're about the only person from LondonDerry who didn't stand for election!

(And if you were elected we'd expect free muffins from that awesome bakery in Drumahoe)

I think it's amazing how Dana manages the two jobs. Ultra-Catholic presidential candidate and transsexual Israeli Eurovision star.

Wow. I didn't know about either of these two ladies. I had some reading to do...and listening.

All I can say about your Irish lass is, ouch.

That wasn't me. That was me quoting Tim Minchin.

FF's "independent" candidate might have done it had he not, on the night before the election, been hammered with his fundraising activities for FF. He said something about having "no recollection", and if that was bringing memories of corruption tribunals to mind, he then compounded the error by saying something about "envelopes". Oops.

Not that I was planning on voting for him anyway. I saw some of Michael D's speech in Eyre Square last night. I'm glad he won. I gave my first preference vote to David Norris. I knew he didn't have a hope, but still, I thought it was worth doing. (I love PR-STV. It means there's no strategy to these things.)

TRiG.

Ahhhhh, the reference went over my head. I'll have to investigate Tim Minchin!

Yes, that performance on the debate was something else. I was watching it on the RTE website in amazement...I've never before seen the favourite candidate in an election be completely destroyed in a matter of minutes like that.

Good to see the Bonobo back in action again, by the way! I take it you found the front door keys again after the move from the BBC!

Tim is, if nothing else, an excellent cure for earworms.

TRiG.

Oh, and I never actually saw that debate. I just heard about it. It wouldn't have affected my votes, anyway. Perhaps I should look it up, though, for the fun of it.

TRiG.

The front door keys were under a mat at Picasso's house in Antibes. This is the first chance I've had.

Oooh, yes, Bea for president - she'd be good at telling people to stop being silly.

That's as may be, but I doubt they'd be as good at listening.