Journal Entries
True story. I assure you.
Posted Jul 24, 2006
I heard this story the other day, from a guy who *swears* it is true. It's about one of those situations where tragedy elides into hilarity.
A friend of his was visiting Canada with his family. They hired a Winnebago in Toronto and headed off to tour the US. However, as they neared Niagra, Grandma realised that she had left her passport behind in Toronto. Never mind, they thought, it's not a strict border. Granndma went to hide in the toilet and they just sailed through.
Shortly after, they stopped in Detroit went to retrieve Grandma...only to find her dead. Clearly this was potentially a legal minefield, so the guy went off to phone his lawyer, asking the family to stay in the Winnebago. Only, the family were a bit twitchy about staying with Grandma's corpse and came with him.
Anyway...the lawyer advised that he do the sensible thing and come clean at the earliest possible opportunity. Under the circumstances he's only get a slap on the wrist and would avoid any further messiness. So with this in mind, they returned to the Winnebago.
It had been stolen.
Grandma was never seen again.
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Latest reply: Jul 24, 2006
My summer theory
Posted Jun 9, 2006
It's sunny at last! Birkenstocks and floral shirt weather. (we don't 'do' shorts in Scotland, though).
Now...I used to think that women had some magical trick they performed in summer...some wonderful way they had of enhancing their appearance. It's true...dresses are more low-cut, tanned limbs are on display.
But then I remembered spinach.
Spinach?!
Yup, spinach. You know how when you eat spinach, it makes your teeth feel peculiarly chalky? I could never figure it out. No matter how much I'd brush my teeth, they'd still feel chalky. Then I discovered that the small amounts of oxcalic acid in spinach deaden the tongue's nerve endings, causing the change in sensation.
So...the change is in the observer, not the observed. Summer makes me horny!
Discuss this Journal entry [37]
Latest reply: Jun 9, 2006
All will be revealed...but not yet.
Posted May 8, 2006
Well! I *was* going to let you in on the secret of the nickname I've been getting away with for the last couple of weeks (Edward the Bonobo - Gie's a gam, hen) - but I can't. I tried to put a footnote on my Personal Space, only 'it' wouldn't let me. Apparently the filter is 'organic' - which in this case seems to mean it's fed with manure. It's updated as it goes along, so something that might be acceptable one day can be deemed naughty the next. Kafkaesque or what?
And my new nickname was going to be my last attempt at épater les Mods, too.
I can never think about Kafka without remembering a charming, erudite Italian who I hooked up with at a conference in Prague. As we walked across the Old Town Square on a balmy evening, gazing at all the beautiful buildings and stunning women, he turned to me and said: 'Why was Kafka depressed?'
Discuss this Journal entry [12]
Latest reply: May 8, 2006
Tell it like it is.
Posted May 5, 2006
I watched the Channel 4 drama, The Bradford Riots last night: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,14934-2145242,00.html
It was reasonably good - a reminder of how that summer many ordinary, decent British citizens across Northern England were provoked to violence following extreme pressure from racist thugs - although they didn't make nearly enough of the orchestrated intimidation that went on throughout that summer.
But one thing struck me. Call me paranoid...but they kept refering to the NF - a tiny, fringe fascist group which has pretty much faded away from its peak in the 70s. Was this possibly self-censorship on the part of the programme makers, afraid of being sued by the now respectable, mainstream BNP? Because it is well known that they were behind it. They may have convinced the BBC to conduct 'fair and balanced' interviews with the media-friendly Nick Griffin, but these are people whose hobbies typically include beating up elderly Bangladeshis and collecting Nazi memorabilia.
And then...I wake up this morning to find that the BNP have 11 seats on Barking council and are now the official opposition. And Nick Griffin being solemly interviewed on Radio 4 about how his party members will represent their communities.
http://www.s-light.demon.co.uk/
http://www.anl.org.uk
It's only partly coincidence that I'm wearing my hootoo-renowned Malcolm X t-shirt today. There was one other that I could have ironed.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: May 5, 2006
Tell it like it is.
Posted May 5, 2006
I watched the Channel 4 drama, The Bradford Riots last night: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,14934-2145242,00.html
It was reasonably good - a reminder of how that summer many ordinary, decent British citizens across Northern England were provoked to violence following extreme pressure from racist thugs - although they didn't make nearly enough of the orchestrated intimidation that went on throughout that summer.
But one thing struck me. Call me paranoid...but they kept refering to the NF - a tiny, fringe fascist group which has pretty much faded away from its peak in the 70s. Was this possibly self-censorship on the part of the programme makers, afraid of being sued by the now respectable, mainstream BNP? Because it is well known that they were behind it. They may have convinced the BBC to conduct 'fair and balanced' interviews with the media-friendly Nick Griffin, but these are people whose hobbies typically include beating up elderly Bangladeshis and collecting Nazi memorabilia.
And then...I wake up this morning to find that the BNP have 11 seats on Barking council and are now the official opposition. And Nick Griffin being solemly interviewed on Radio 4 about how his party members will represent their communities.
http://www.s-light.demon.co.uk/
http://www.anl.org.uk
It's only partly coincidence that I'm wearing my famous Malcolm X t-shirt today. There was one other that I could have ironed.
Discuss this Journal entry [118]
Latest reply: May 5, 2006
Edward the Bonobo - Gone.
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