h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi

I thought it was time I started a new thread, I'm tired of scrolling through the numbers. You wonder how long they go on.

It is 10-41. No doubt you're well away now, singing and carousing (whatever that is).
I didn't wake up till 9-00 this morning. Told you I was going to Chichester with friends yesterday, didn't I? Well, they picked me up at 8-00 and I'd had an awful night, worrying that the alarm wouldn't go off, it's a bit temperamental. But..it did and I felt more dead than alive. All through the night I had been waking up with cramp in my toes. Aaaaauuuwww....aaaauuuuwww. leaping out of bed and getting cold. By the way, why don't we ever get cramp like that when we're at a concert or funeral? You never see people suddenly dancing about because they've got cramp then, do you? I get it at the MOST inopportune moments, you ask TCL.
Anyway, I felt so tired, but had a lovely time and as the day went on, I felt more and more lively. But then I fell asleep when Parkinson was on. I thought I might as well go to bed when I woke up, just as Parky finished and I was so sleepy, turned the light of at 11-00. And didn't wake up till 9-00 this morning!!!. You wouldn't believe the difference it made. The energy!!!. Been digging in the garden, there's a large root I can't quite get out, but I'm working on it. Yesterday I wanted to look for a gardener, to-day it all looks very manageable.
But then, it's all or nothing with me.

Don't tell me about help-lines of computers. My supplier who gave me three lessons as part of the deal, told me not to be afraid of the pooter. "Play with it", he said,"You can't harm it." No, maybe not, but I finished up with the "start" button in the right-hand corner and lines dividing the screen and all sorts of rubbish. Then, it got stuck altogether. Couldn't move anything.
Phoned the helpline. They are in India! "Calls are 50 pence a minute" they helpfully told me. The guy on the other end couldn't understand a word I said, I couldn't understand him,he spoke a very minimal amount of English and I had to spell everything, which took a month of Sundays. In the end I did what you did.
Next morning, phoned a young man in the village. He charges £15 an hour, about one third than the help-line cost me and he was here only a few minutes and wouldn't take any money.

I think we started out too late, Al, but, then again, we are a lot better than some people of our age and younger. So. Cheers.

Hope you had a good week-end.Lots of and and and

Well FLY,
I read all of that at the speed I suspect that you wrote it... 100 miles an hour !!!
You seem very agitated..or is that me getting the wrong vibes.....Calm down dear! it's only a commercial!!!(this is me returning from a good night out...a little the worse for drink.)
I can only IMAGINE the inoppurtune moments that you get the cramps when you are with TCL !!Very awkward I would think....
I am going to bed now...full of what Ken Dodd called, PLUMTIOUSNESS !!!
I will speak to you again tomorrow.

Very, Very, Very best of ultimate wotsits

Al XXX

Hi

Agitated?
I don't know, I felt it like energetic, but then, as I say: All or nothing with me.

You are right about the inopportune moments. Aaaaauuuuuwwwww.
Makes me giggle, though, maybe that's worse!!.

You sound like you had a good night out, is the quiz just an excuse? I've been very moderate the last few days, just one glass of wine with my dinner. Dull, isn't it?

The boards were so slow last night, I couldn't even be bothered to wait, did you look in?

See you soon,





Craft Group this afternoon, we're being taught something new again, some take it so seriously. And the, I've got more digging to do.

Hi FLY,
A giggle in the wrong place can be very off putting !!!

Don't think that I looked on the boards last night....have a job to remember ANYTHING about last night. The quiz isn't an excuse, it just happens to coincide with the barmaid pouring the most beautiful bitter imaginable !! You are doing very well to limit yourself to one glass a day (obviously for medicinal purposses only)I may have said before...with me,once a bottle is open, it has to go.

I was only joking in the CB about F1 and women...although I do find it strange that women take such a keen interest...no reason why they shouldn't I suppose!!

What new 'crafty' things are you being taught now? Or shouldn't I ask?

I will have to make more effort to join in the banter on the CB board....unfortunately I'm going through one of my 'they're all wittier/cleverer than me' phases.

Speak to you again later maybe.

Fondest you know whats

Al XXX

Just a quickie FLY'

I've just taken a quick look in the CB, and everyone seems to have vanished....I wonder why ,when I speak to you in there, this happens....do you think that they want to leave us alone???

AL XXX

Hi

I suppose it's boring when 2 people have a conversation, but then, if nobody joins in...

I want to know how you do the BLUE F1?????You clever so and so.DO TELL !!

As I'm answering your last posting, the first one has vanished and I can't remember what you said. Oh dear!!

This afternoon I was taught "Sovereign Tracery". Sounds good, doesn't it?
It meant fooling about with those very thin, Japanese napkins, cutting out flowers etc. and sticking them on cards. I ate 2 scones with jam and two pieces of cake and drank three cups of tea.!!!

You after my last posting to you on the CB. Can't blame you, it was all so very slow, wasn't it? I nearly nodded off.

How are you sleeping nowadays?
That's why I don't drink more than 1 large glass of wine at night, I find if I drink more I wake up at 3-00. WIDE-awake. Slept till 4-30 this morning, boring chap on R2. Fell asleep again at 7-oo and had an awful dream.

See you soon

Be good.

Second post.

I don't believe this.

My F1 came out blue as well. How did that happen? Is someone watching us?

XX

Fly

Hi FLY,
I'm so sorry that I didn't contact you yesterday. My pooter is still playing up..yesterday I couldn't send messages. I sent a couple of replies to the boards but they never registered, it was so frustrating. I don't know if this message will be sent...I live in hope.I wondered if this was the reason why it looked like no messages were posted in the CB.I won't write any more until you tell me if you have received this post....although, I ask myself, how long do I wait?I'll look in again over the next hour or so to see if we are in contact.

Going over to try my luck on the boards, so I may see you there.

Always fondest things

Al XX

Hi FLY,

Seems that everyone had probs with the boards yesterday, although not the same as mine. Perhaps it IS my poot that is the trouble.

Never mind, I seem to have got over the probs for the mo.(don't you just HATE shortened words?) I'll try not to do it again.

I notice that you count all your 'treats' and your drinks...don't bother. Enjoy yourself. OK if it's health, that's one thing, but if it is as a result of social pressures, tell them to get ******* You and your personality are BIGGER than that.

Have I been speaking out of turn again? I'm sorry but I hate all the hype that I see in everyday life about how we should all be losing weight/exercising etc...I think that at our time in life, we should be allowed to indulge....whether food, drink,flirting,paddling in the sea,skimming stones over the surface of water, or just being plain DAFT. For god's sake..time is running out....Lets let go !!!!

Oh...sorry about that FLY, I seem to have flipped a bit !!!

Take no notice of what I've said..I've been on the Jolly Juice again.

Nothing of what I have said makes any sense at all......

Does it ??????????

As Always

Al XXX

Hi

It is 12-12 and I should be slumbering, but I'm wide awake, as I've just seen my friend off who'se been here for the day.

Well, first of all I have been going mad about all this board-business. I thought it was MY pooter and this morning I sent an e-mail to PG to ask her if it was me or what. She said that there was a message up to say the boards were closed for the time being, but it wasn't on MY screen.
Anyway, all's well that ends well.

Now for your post.

Thank you, thank you, thank you that I have found somebody as hedonistic as me. Just like you, I get so tired hearing of all the things we shouldn't do, shouldn't eat, shouldn't drink and I fully believe in living life up to the hilt. I'm always the last one to leave the party and never want to go to bed. (alone, that is).

If I was mentioning all my treats it's because I think of food 80% of the day.

EVERYTHING you said made sense and remember In Vino Veritas.

What a time my friend and I had. After lunch we went to a garden centre, I want to buy a statue or large birdbath for part of my garden. Saw just what I wanted and asked if they delivered. Yes, but it cost £20. As the birdbath and pedestal cost £ 109 I refused to pay extra to have it delivered. Stomped out!!!
Then we were in the middle of a dread ful thunderstorm with hail as large as golfballs which dented my friend's car.
After half an hour, glad to be home, put the kettle on for a cuppa. Nothing. Powercut. Had a few glasses of wine but how was I going to cook dinner. Luckily the power came on at 6-30, so all was well. Some lovely apple-pie left, want some?

Talking about enjoying life, I'm following doctor's orders. When I was depressed after my hsband's death, he said: "You are melancholy". Lovely word. And he said: "I want you to live the good life, enjoy yourself and when you go, go with all guns blazing."
And that's what I intend to do, but very few people understand this, don't you find? Although most people do have all the wrong food and drink too much, they feel guilty and that's what I don't understand. I tend to spoil mself and why not? We're a long timedead.

So, Al, Cheers my good friend, here's to you <redwine.



Live, love and be happy!!!!

Next day!!!

This just isn't good enough, you know. Here am I, typing my fingers to the bone while you are out carousing with your mates.
didn't even notice that I wasn't asleep when you rolled into bed, did you?
AND you were snoring!

I ate the last piece of apple pie myself, so there!

Went to the chap opposite's funeral to-day. I thought it was very weird, or is it me?
When they carried the coffin in, the organ stopped playing the usual music and suddenly, very loud we had Jim Reeves singing "Mary, marry me".
His wife's name was Pat, so I couldn't see the connection.

Afterwards, at the bun-fight, I asked the nephew who had organised the funeral what the significance was of "Mary, marry me" and he said that the deceased liked "Old music".
I couldn't help thinking there must have been something more suitable.
Afterwards they played "Memories are made of this." Fair enough.

I sat in that church contemplating my own funeral and I'm going to have a few jolly songs amid the gloom. First of all I want "The Battle-cry of the Republic" by Andy Williams, just because I like it, but I've got to have another listen to the words first, see if it's suitable.

Then: "Jerusalem", because I want all my W.I. mates to stand up and sing for ME.

And when they carry me out, I want (I wish I could sing it to you) that very oldthing, a guy singing: "Good-byeeeee"
"Good-byeeee
Da-da-da
Da-da-da-(Wipe that tear?)
(From your eyeee?)

Shall ask TCL who sang it, to-night.
I wish I was going to be there, I want the champagne to flow, don't care what it costs. Ha ha ha ha.

Expect a LONG letter now. Won't accept any excuses about "trouble with the pooter". It won't wash.
So..

Sorry FLY if you think that I am neglecting you. Nothing could be further from my mind.
You were right about last night..went carousing with the boys..got home past midnight and more or less fell into bed,dog tired. It's a hard life being a carouser you know....but somebody's got to do it !!!
I also went to a funeral this week. One of our clients(we call them service users) unfortunately died after a lengthy illness.Myself and a female member of staff went, with some of his friends from the centre,to the church.He came from a large family and was much loved.The service, which lasted an hour, was very personal to him and his family.
They also had a strange record played..Tom Jones singing The Green Green Grass Of Home.Strange choice being as it is about a man that is waiting to be hanged ! It's very strange to take service users to funerals...they never show any sorrow, and NEVER cry.You tell them that one of their friends has died and they accept it without question.
I sometimes play the 'what tunes shall I have at my funeral' game...I think though that I will probably leave it to others to decide.
Mrs Z and I went to Worcester this evening to see Barry Crier.We really enjoyed it.I know that he isn't everyones cup of tea, but his sense of humour appeals to me.
This message isn't as long as I anticipated, but my eyes are crossing with tiredness,so I will sign off now, and mail you again tomorrow.

All fondest thigamebobs and wotsits

Al XXX

Hi,

You are forgiven.

You have a much livelier social life than me. It is strange, but when we came to live in a village, we thought that our life would revolve around the pub which is at the end of my garden, but although we went a few times, people seemed very cliquy(?)
and nobody took any notice of us. As a lone woman my life is mostly with other women and none of them seem to have my sense of restlessness. They are all quite happy to put their feet up and watch T.V. in the evening.

Jonathon Ross is just saying; "Isn't that the best thing in life one can do: Eating chips, covered in salt and vinegar, at night, al fresco) and I agree wholeheartedly. You'd think somebody around me would feel the same, wouldn't you.
My husband wouldn't have done that in a million years, but TCL has indulged me, although he worried about the health-value of it all.

But now I have introduced myself to a woman who has come to live opposite. She is a widow and very lively, says she has lots of men-friends and talks about making up a foursome to go out. It sounds O.K. but I wonder what we have in common. She has no interest in food and with me, it's never far frrom my mind. Also, I have a feeling that most of her friends are farmers and I have this vision of great, big hands and rough fingernails.

I've never seen much of Barry Cryer, not anything lengthy, really.
Glad you enjoyed it.

Had an awful night again last night. Got up at 4-00 and poured myself a large glass of Advocaat, I couldn't finish it.

It is so grey and miserable here, it's all these people with their barbecues that have sent the sun

The CB has been dead the last few days. Yesterday I wondered why my posts had gone from 612 to 600 and the Host answered me. First time I've seen a Host on CB. Must be bored as well, I reckon.
It's a bit livelier on R2, but I don't know enough about music to join in there. Must try, though.

Glad it isn't your pooter that's in trouble.

Look forward to hearing from you.

XX

Afternoon FLY(just!)

Had a lie in this morning...10.30, that's late for me, usually up at 6.15 in the week, and 7.30 Sat & Sun (I've usually been awake an hour or so before that...like you, can't sleep!)
Looking forward to a good holiday weekend..shame about the weather.
Mrs Z gone to work..housework done...If possible, persuade my son in law(or more likely my daughter)to go down to the pub to watch the Blues(Birmingham City)play Arsenal on SKY...this is doubtful as he is a Blues supporter and hopefully, they are going to get a smacking today.Villa play tomorrow..I won't be able to watch it as we are going to my sister's for Sunday lunch; my brother is bringing a lady friend who we have never met before...looking forward to that.Then later, of course,it's quiz night.....don't know if I have said before but we have been going to this pub quiz for years..and we still look forward to it as if it is the first time...our kids think that we are mad...perhaps we are,but the good thing is that it's our life and we can do what the hell we like without answering to anyone.
So it's out with the merry widow eh? I'm sure that with your open outlook on life, you will get something out of it, even if you have to endure big hands and rough fingernails...keep me posted !!!

Must go now....match will be starting soon....don't want to miss Arsenals first 4 or 5 goals (ha!ha!)

May be about later..if sober!!!

Wonderful Wotsits (Bet you wonder how I know ?)

AL XXX

Hi

You've been looking, haven't you?

That's a wonderful week-end you have planned. I noticed the match was a draw, shame wasn't it?

How old is your brother? Couldn't you have saved him for me?
I have a lot of qualms about the lady opposite sorting out a man for me, I can't imagine our tastes would be the same, me being a townie. She breeds budgies, made me hold some 2-day old babies, like little rubber things they were.

Good for you two going to the quiz-nights. It's got to be better than sitting, slumped, in front of the T.V., half asleep. I'm sure your children would agree.
Then again, not having any children, it amazes me how there comes a time when they feel they can tell their parents what todo.
I've seen it with my brother's kids. Firstof all the parents were boss and the children did (more or less) as they were told. Then, as teenagers, they realised that mum and dad were completely wrong about everything. And knew nothing.

Then came a period when they would ask advice and mum and dad seemed wise.
Then, when the parents got to about 60, the children started to tell them what to do. I hear it all the time: "My son says that I should move into a smaller house"
"My daughter says I should go into sheltered accomodation". "It would be so much easier for you, mum."
Or: "My son wants me to come and live near him, in case I get ill".

At least I can do what I like, although sometimes it hurts there is nobody who cares.

Have you seen that lovely advert where the son wants his mum to go into a home?
It's really funny.

The weather has improved a lot this afternoon. I took the suitcase out with my summer-clothes and the spare bedroom looks like a jumble-sale. A large heap of old clo to be ironed.

Hope you win at the quiz. Have fun, we're a long time dead!
I've got a lovely bottle of, so I will be quite over-relaxed by the time you come home.

Reminds me of a lovely couple we were friendly with. They each were widowed and each had a bungalow. They sold one and moved into the other together. How they managed it I don't know but it didn't take longbefore they had drank away all the money. Mimi was always drunk. Had to be helped in and out of the house and her husband said: "Mimi's overtired". At official functions she was dead-drunk before anybody else had finished their first drink and she had to be led out. "It's her bronchitis" her husband would explain. The husband became ill and my husband was worried about them and sent one of his salesmen to go and look if they needed any help with shopping etc. as Mimi didn't drive. They were very grateful and the young man took her to the supermarket and she came home with a whole trolleyload of gin. Not one tin of soup to be seen.
Both are dead now but they enjoyed their lives.

See you soon.

Hi
CONTINUED

I stayed at the CB till 9-00 last night and thought nobody was going to turn up and, typical, as soon as I turn my back, everybody comes in.
I'm conviced that Tony Ferreira is SC.
What do you think?

Hi FLY,

Agree with you re. SC..

Went to my sisters for lunch. Drank too much wine...have to cut down on the bitter tonight at the quiz !!!....mind..it is bank holiday isn't it??

Daughter in law rang us up yesterday evening to go out for food....well, it's rude to refuse isn't it? Had a wonderful meal(Sea Bass)Went early before the Saturday night rush...Back home by 9pm...just right. Mrs Z was very tired as she had been working all day...keeps her fit and on her toes though !!.

S'pose you'll be in bed when I come home tonight...so speak to you tomorrow..

Fondest Big 'Uns

Al XXX

Hi

Wouldn't mind if you woke me up though.
Gently, mind. Don't want me leaping about shouting, do you?

Your life is just ONE round of pleasure.

Good for you.

XX

Hi FLY,
Sorry That I haven't been around much over the weekend.....that ONE round of pleasure you see.....I couldn't do that too often though.Mrs Z and myself are absolutely knackered. We are not used to going out drinking and getting home late for a whole weekend, any more....Poor old sods!!!
Tonight it's feet up,spot of tele, and early to bed....Ohhhhhh!! sounds like heaven.So you see, I am not the party animal that you thought I was.
Didn't read much of what's going on in the CB...anything I should know about? I know that they think that there is someone copying SC to get him into trouble....Why bother!!!!(small minds)
Any update on TCL, or has it gone completely cold now?What would you do if he said that he wanted to marry you?...I know that from what you have said in the past, this is unlikely...but what if? Another thing..I am sure that you have lots of other admirers, but you never mention them..is it modesty? Sorry FLY..it's me with you on the couch again(so to speak) isn't it?I know you don't like to feel that you are being interrogated...ignore me, I'm a nosey b****r !!!!
May see you in the CB later...if I can stay awake.

Bigger than ever wotsits

Al XXXX

Hi

Well, I'm quite put out now.
I thought you had trouble with the pooter, had died of alcohol poisoning, or at least were too ill to sit up and type!!
And all the time you were party-ing.
Still, you know what they say: "Eat, drink and be merry, for..."

Yes, you ARE a nosey b..gger, especialy since I never get any answers to my questions. Do I?

TCL. Sometimes, when I'm awake in the night (last night was dreadful again) I think of TCL and nowadays realise I've become very cold towards him. A bit indifferent, really, which must be worse than when I used to get angry with him.
I don't know if he notices anything when we chat, but if he does, he doesn't show it.
I'm going to Spain for a week at the end of the month and come back on the 5th of June. His daughter will be staying in the bungalow that's for sale at that time but, you can call me a witch, I would bet you anything you like that he'll want to come over for my birthday, which is the 16th.June. And I don't know what I'm going to tell him, either then , when he suggests it, OR if he does arrive here. I suppose I'll have to play it by ear.

As to other admirers, there's not a lot of talent about in the village. I know it sounds callous, but I don't want to be burdened with an old man who's looking for a nurse, or a "companion". If I did get into a relationship it would have to be for love. I haven't come across anybody who appeals, really. Lots of "nice" men, nobody who attracts.


Think about it.
What would YOU do if you were suddenly on your own again?
After a while you become accustomed to it and you get settled into a new life-style. I'm not desparate to change that, really. What I would like is a man who took me out now and then and then left me on the doorstep. But.. there's no such thing as a free lunch, is there.
So I stick to female friends, although there is the missing spark.

Can I get off the couch now?
What are your conclusions?

Over the week-end Scott has been posting under several false names. And he was boasting that he was back and that the boards had been dead without him.
To-day it's all come to a head again, and even "Tony" seems to be sorted out, but I don't know how long it will last.

I've got quite thirsty talking for such a long time. The least you can do is take me out for a nice, cool, lager.

Hope you sleep well to-night.