h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi

You must have posted almost at the same time as I was going to bed last night.
It certainly cheered me up. Sorry I didn't hear you knocking, I shall have to give you a key to the back-door.
Sincerely hope the watsanames are alright after their adventure.
Can't blame you going to the pub rather than listen to me moaning.

Is it the carousing to-night? Or are you in turn for the orange juice?

I've just come home from lunch with 3 friends, one of them in a wheelchair. Last year she was cooking dinner for some friends when suddenly she said: "My legs feel so heavy". Next thing she'd collapsed, major stroke and has been paralysed down one side ever since. It really frightened all of us that these things come without any warning.

So, home again, it's now 5.05 and I keep looking at my suitcase and keep thinking it's too early to pack. I feel as if I should be doing Something.
So, I've come up with a good idea. I'll finish the book I was reading.
How's that?
I have a sort of hayfever, this time of the year my eyes are affected first thing in the morning. It goes off as the day goes on. But while I was waiting for my friends I picked up the book I was reading and it was so emotional, large tears were running down my face. My eyes were quite red by the time we went out.

I had such a nice e-mail from PG this morning. She picked up on my being put out yesterday, I think. Isn't it amazing that a bunch of people I was completely unaware of a year ago, now seem like real friends. And SC did some of us a favour because he was the reason we started e-mailing each other and also, that's how we came to this board.
They are both completely different, yet I like them both.

What was the Sussex beer like then? Better than in B'ham, I'll bet. You picked an unfortunate evening to visit my village because there was a godawful smell about. Muck-spreading, I was told. Don't ask what kind of muck it was. Dreadful.
And the builder next door decided to have a large bonfire, I expected the whole village to get blown up with these gasses about.
Do you live in a town or a village?

I don't suppose you'll make it to my back-door to-night because of the carousing!!
Tomorrow is your last chance though, I'm off at 7-30 Sat. morning with a bit of luck.
Betty is taking me to Gatwick, but she informed me that her car is in dock, hopes it will be finished in time. H E L P!Hope to hear from you before I go, may see you to-night.

Off to my lie-down with my book then. It's a hard life!

Fly,

I have spent AGES compiling a message to you....only to see it disappear into the ether!!I have had a few, and my eyes are crossing with tiredness so I will not attempt to re-wright the lot....

Can I just wish you a lovely holiday...enjoy every last second of it...and I, and all the rest of the gang in the CB will welcome you back with open arms on your return!!!!

Very Fondest Doings!!

Al XXXXXXX

Morning

That's happened to me too, messages disappearing into thin air.
It was very sweet of you to think of me anyway.

I wish you hadn't told me you resemble Pete Waterman, because every time I see him now I think it's you. How daft can you get?
He's really nice-looking, I think, with a lot of humour in his face.

Well, suitcase packed, washing machine on the go for last minute tidy-up and it's only 10 o'clock. It's worse than being short of time. Am so worried in case Betty tells me tonight she can't take me to the airport. All taxis are booked up (holiday week-end). Just have to hope for the best. I've told a few people, but no-one has said: "If the worst comes to the worst, I'll take you". So, all I can do is fingers crossed.
Surely she won't let me down, will she???

Woke up at 4.00 this morning, got up at 5.30. This sleeping business is odd, isn't it? I've been boasting about how well I've slept all week.

So, see you when I get back. Be good. Have a lovely Bank Holiday and
Au Revoir.

Hi FLY,
It's only Sunday and we are all missing you like crazy!!!

AL

Hi FLY,

Monday morning(just).....

Why am I still missing you?

Extremely fondest thingies!

Al

Hola Amigo

I'm back!!! Arrived about 2 hours ago. Unpacked, made lovely cuppa, phoned couple of friends and I'm exhausted. Be nice to sleep in my own bed again.

It was HOT HOT HOT!!! 35 degrees. Lovely and cool in appartment, ceiling fans and air conditioning, but we felt we had to go out.
Got bitten every day, my friend has about 30 bites(gnats and midges) and her nighty went walkies with the laundry. And she'd fallen over before we went and had a bad shoulder. Our flight going was delayed by 5 hours and to-day we arrived about 10 minutes late but had to wait for our luggage for nearly an hour.

Right! All the disasters out of the way, we had a lovely time and a lot of fun.

I've unpacked my suitcase and only then noticed that half the bottom has been ripped off. Can't imagine why I didn't notice it earlier. I don't think anything is missing. I was worried in case my two lovely bottles of perfume had slipped out, but they were there. (I spend too much money on perfume). And my bottle of cognac and the Drambuie were still intact too.

Fancy a nightcap? Are you glad to see me again?

I'll call in tomorrow.

Hi FLY,

Just read your note...'course I'm glad you're back...just about to go out of the door to quiz night..have already 'hit the red' so may not be in fit state to reply on my return.

See you tomorrow.

Fondst thingies

Al XXXX

Hi

Now, look here, darling... This just won't do. Here I am, after a week's absence and you say you're glad I'm back and "I'm just out of the door".
What kind of welcome is that.
Even SC gave me a warmer welcome. Did you see that? At least, thats who we think it is.

TCL phoned me just before I went away and said that he's got a nice little birthday-present for me and could he bring it over?..?????
I was hesitant, told him I had a lot of work to do in the garden and he said he'd help me.
I wonder how this will pan out.
In the meantime I've got my work cut out, cleaning and shopping.
He always comes for 2 weeks and it means a lot of meals to be thought of.

But I'm not going to stop posting, he'll have to watch T.V. by himself.

Did you win the quiz?
I feel as if I've never been away.
Want to see my white bits?

I saw you were chatting to brenda b. Who was she in a former life? I know she's a friend of Sh. and lives up there somewhere but don't really know her.

I'm on my third glass of red. (Large glass). Think I'll call it a day, (perhaps Sunday) have to get up early tomorrow.

Don't wake me up when you get to bed, unless you've got hot chocolate with you.

I remember my husband saying: "If you loved me, you'd get up and make me a bacon sarnie". I wish I had now.

See you soon.

Oh Fly,

Sorry your message ended on a sad note......I know, after all this time that you miss your lovely husband...I'm sorry !!

Brenda B means nothing to me, I tell you....She was a mere diversion while you were in foreign climes......!

We came second in the quiz..which was a good result. The answers we gave were a lot of guesses and hunches...I never knew that vanilla came from the orchid plant...Mrs. Z got it...how the hell she knew that I don't know. The nearest that she has got to vanilla is Cornish iced cream and Birds Custard Powder..After all these years, that woman is STILL surprising me!!!

Now FLY.. TCL..What's to do? I feel something BIG is about to rear it's head!!!!

Keep me informed.

Godnight FLY

Al XXX

Hi

What d'you mean: "She means nothing to me, just a diversion..."
I saw you KISSING. I'm jealous because all I ever get is "whatsits."
Can't let you out of my sight for a week!
I shall have to have a word with brenda b.

Did you see SC was back on the CB to-day? Under his own name? Nobody answered, perhaps he'll go away. He even welcomed me back yesterday. I've never taken any notice of him, can't be bothered, really. Yesterday he called himself Clive Ross and signed the posting: Scott.
To-day he was Scott Clout 1st post.

I should be gardening but I have no shade in my garden and it's too warm, but I shall have to do some watering, like it or not.

Congrats. to Mrs.Z. knowing about vanilla. I thought I knew a lot about cooking, but I didn't know THAT. Just had a look on my bottle of vanilla-essence and it says: "The vanilla bean-or pod, is the only fruit-bearing orchid." If there is a bottle in your kitchen( I'm sure there must be) have a look, it's an interesting process. I've learnt something to-day as well now.

I've got to write to the Air-Carriers about my suitcase, I hadn't realised until I got home that there's a large hole in the bottom. Luckily nothing seems to be missing. First thing I did was look for my precious perfume, I just love the stuff.

TCL phoned Sunday. He's upset that his children are so greedy. All he asked for was a painting which he bought when they were first married. It was in the bungalow , but now his son has taken it back to Norway. Mean or what?

Don't know what will happen now. Physically. I am attracted to him, but he doesn't make me happy because of his non-committal attitude.

Men!

Will you kiss me if I get a pair of long, dangly bits?

Hi

Glad of your sunglasses to-day? Is it hot where you work? And I was wondering how the garden was coming along which you dug for that young man who wanted to grow beans etc.

I'd made up my mind to tackle the garden to-day and I was out there by 9-00, but already it was hot.
I keep doing a bit and then sit down with a glass of water. Luckily I've had some welcome interruptions, two phone-calls and a visitor.
You wouldn't believe how those weeds have grown in a week.

I'm having a bit of lunch now (loads of juicy fruit made into a huge salad) and then I'll tidy up out there and call it a day. (perhaps Tuesday)

I've already had two birthday-cards and this morning a parcel through the post. I know it's a book, but I haven't opened the parcel yet. It's from my cousin, so I know it will be deep. I'll just go and have a look.

Sorry I've been so long, I had to get two knives and a pair of scissers to it.
It is called "We are not Alone" By Monique Moller and it's in Dutch. This is strange, Al, whenever I read a book written in Dutch I'm translating it into English as I go. It's such a nuisance and it takes forever. I just can't seem to help myself.
The book is about spirituality, I thought it would be, my cousin never reads anything light-hearted.

Is it me or is it gettingwarmer by the minute?

I think I'll spend the afternoon lying on the sofa watching T.V. There's tennis on,isn't there?

Hope to see you to-night.

Hi FLY,

First things first...Sad to say I have fallen off the wagon!!!And all because of a Brazilian beauty(my lovely daughter in law) Mrs.Z and myself called at their house this evening, and as per usual, it was what would you like to eat/drink. I said 'nothing for me' But how can you resist a glass of red, a few nibbles,and good company?Tomorrow I will climb back on...Honest!!

The garden that we have created for 'Old George' is coming along nicely. I have finished all the digging(thank goodness)and up to now we have planted, potatoes,runner beans,lettuce,corriander, as well as various types of flowers to give it colour...it's coming along well..The only trouble is..George seems to have lost interest..hopefully when everything really gets under way, his interest will return.

You never said that your birthday was nigh!!Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY for whenever it is......I won't ask you how many summers...much too much of a gent!!

Will most likely speak to you again tomorrow.

Fondest EVERYTHINGS!

Al XXXX

Hi

How sad that George has lost interest in the garden, after all that digging!! Still, maybe you'll benefit with some nice, fresh lettuce etc.
Where we lived before, my husband had a large veg. garden, it was his pride and joy. I loved some of it, I really enjoyed walking into the garden with a rake over my shoulder to dig up some new potatoes for our dinner. It was so exciting to dig up the plant and see how many it had yielded. And Oh, the joy, when you grabbled around in the dirt and found another two or three. There's just nothing to beat a freshly dug potato. But some nights my heart sank when I saw him coming down the garden-path with a whole bucketful of something or other I didn't know what to do with. Mange-tout! Every day masses of it! And the cabbages, full of dirt and the odd slug!!

I'm sorry you fell off the wagon. I didn't know you were serious the other night. We say all sorts of things on the boards and it's mostly make-believe, isn't it? Sometimes I say I'm enjoying the lovely cool lager someone's dished up and in reality I'm sitting here with a glass of water.!!!

Brenda b. seems to have taken over all the boards. She even got told off this morning for "going it a bit" and was asked if she was SC in disguise!!! That got her going!!
SC seems to have been taken off again. I sometimes wonder if I want to go on with it all. Now and again we have some fun, but for the most part I just sit and read it all and don't want to join in and feel that I could be doing more interesting things.

I'll see.

My birthday is on the 16th and I'll expect you to turn up with a large bunch of roses and a big kiss.

And what are you going to do tomorrow night? Or is it your turn to be driver? Couldn't you find something more interesting than orange juice? I suppose I say that because I can't stand fruit juices. How about tonic water with ice and lemon for a change?

Am trying to get the garden into shape for when TCL comes. We have a problem he doesn't know about yet, I'll tell him to-night. He usually arrives around 3 o'clock and we have a cup of tea and then have dinner around 7-00. This Sunday the Grand Prix is on at 5.00 and when it finishes it's the first of the football games. I shall ask him if he can arrive a bit earlier and have a late lunch (around 3.00)

Must go and cook my dinner now. Chicken stir-fry with rice. I like all that, it's quick and tasty. I have some black-bean sauce to go over it.

What did you have to-day?

See you later.

Hi FLY,

Had a quick look on the boards...didn't see you...although now I understand why not. Yes, I feel like you about it..Sometimes I find myself frantically(is that how you spell that?)trying to think of something to post,just to say that I am involved; when in reality I'm bored with it all......Although when it's good, I really like it.

I'm terrible at remembering birthdays(drives Mrs. Z mad)So can I wish you a happy 21st now , just in case I forget...Oh..and have a couple of these.. and a littleand...Blimey Fly..I needed that!!!!

Climbed aboard the wagon again today..just 'till the weekend mind!! I've found that of late I have been drinking every evening. I know we have had this discussion before, but sometimes I feel that it is not good for me( the drink, not the discussion) Not sure if I will be out tomorrow. Sometimes one of the lads is on a shift(He is a train driver)and it isn't the same without the four of us.I'm not overkeen on orange juice, but it is about the only thing that I find mildly enjoyable besides alcohol.

How big is your garden ? You always seem to be trying to knock it into shape...why not get TCL to do it?..earn his keep!!!!

I'm off now to have another quick look at the boards before 'lights out'

May speak again tomorrow..

Stay beautiful

Al XX

Hi

Just in case you had another look!!

I shall remind you of my birthday every day now because I enjoyed the celebrations so much.

Nothing going on on the boards last time I looked. I wasn't really in the mood much myself.

The garden SHOULD be easy to manage, I paid a fortune last year to have it landscaped, but everything grows like mad here and I can't keep up with the weeds. The front garden is mostly pebbles, large ones and are HELL to walk on. There is a membrane under them but that doesn't stop the weeds and then they're almost impossible to get out.

The back garden is paving stones with 5 flower-beds around them, but the same thing...weeds in between the stones. I find that weedkiller doesn't really work, all I can see then is DEAD weeds standing up. My pride and joy is my summer-house which I got last year, I LOVE it and TCL and I sit in there for hours playing cards!!

He's coming over at around 2 o'clock, so that we can have lunch before the Grand Prix.

I only meant to say a few words and now you have another letter. I spoil you, but then, I know you miss your glass of wine. That's what I have most days, 1 (large) glass of wine, for medicinal purposes, you understand!!

See you soon

Fly,

Once again I had composed a letter to you and was about to sign off..pressed the wrong button(I think) and it all disappeared.

Will contact again later..maybe!!

Wotsits..And lots of them !!

Al XX

Hello again

Well, mi amigo, it's not like you to keep pressing the wrong buttons, is it?
It's happened to me several times too and then we don't want to start all over again, do we?

I'm so tired, been very busy to-day.
House work, visits, phone calls, cooking (made lovely apple pie, is in freezer) AND washed the car.

Am going to snuggle down now, it's a bit cooler to-night, am looking forward to my bed.

See you tomorrow.

Be good!!

(No reaction to my change of name, was there? Well, PG, Helen and Jen already know it anyway. I always feel one day someone is going to swat that FLY. But you can call me what you like.

Night night, see you tomorrow.

Do you like my nighty?





JUNE 16th.

Had another look at the CB and I must have too quickly. Wish I'd stayed.
Oh well.

See youtomorrow.

Hi FLY/Catharina

Did you know that your nightie is transparent?...Thought I'd wait a bit before I told you !!!!

Isn't it slow on the boards tonight....Perhaps it's only us saddoes that are staying in on a Friday night. When I was young, I thought that Friday was the best night of the week...It was like the weekend, except when it was over you still had the weekend to look forward to.
We have just been out for a walk round the lanes, but it started to pour with rain, and as I only had a T-shirt and shorts on, I got absolutely soaked( by the way..an update on my legs...brown knees, but below..they still resemble two bottles of milk!)

Bet you can't wait for the lover to 'come a callin'...I suppose with what has happened to him with his family, he may need some TLC...you wouldn't take advantage would you, with him in such a vulnerable state and all?

I'm looking forward to the weekend..especially Sunday with the Footie...I would love it if we stuffed the French(wishful thinking maybe)I know that you will be glued to the Motor racing. Hope it turns out as you want it to. As you know I know Zilch about the sport...all I can say is I hope JB wins (I suppose he is racing in this one isn't he?) I bet you HATE my ignorance don't you.

I'm off now to see if Captain Biggles has managed to get that bloody boat out of the harbour yet.

If I don't see you again...have a WONDERFUL weekend.....and be gentle with him...he is only a defenceless man you know.

Biggest wotsits imaginable

Al XX

Your NOT going to wear that nightie are you when TCL comes........?
Well! That's ASKING for trouble!!!!!!!!

Hi

Yes, it was a strange evening on the boards.
You must have read my thoughts. I was feeling strangely restless this evening. It was such a beautiful one and I thought how lovely it would be to share a bottle of wine with someone special instead of sitting at a keyboard.
And then I got depressed, remembering how excited I used to be when I knew TCL was coming. This evening he phoned me and as he was talking, I thought: "You bore me".

I know he's been having a hard time with his family, but if he had played his cards right, he wouldn't be alone and forgotten now. His children, when the house gets sold in early July, will almost certainly not go to Cornwall again. It irks me no end that he has always put them before me.
Now, Al, you have children. You may understand it better, do you think they should always come first?

But I'll try and be compassionate. I'm not much good at hiding my feelings, though. I wouldn't be surprised if he away again halfway through the hol., it's happened several times before. Except now, with the bad leg, he can't so fast. Ha ha ha.

I asked if you liked my nighty, you weren't supposed to look underneath it!. But you've been in that mood all evening, haven't you? Have you got your trousers back on now?
I caught a glimpse of those brown knees then. Very tasty!

Darling, the racing drivers drive in EVERY race, unless they're ill, which seldom happens. They make it into that cockpit almost without fail.
I hope JB does well, but the whole thing's got boring. They'll have to sort something out to make it more exciting, otherwise they'll lose all interest.
But it's difficult, Ferrari has the most money, they can afford all the best people and they have the best cars, they're just not going to give that up.

I shall be watching the footie too. COME ON ENGLAND!!! But I fear for their defense. Well, we'll see.
TCL is going to leave home at the crack of dawn to arrive here in time for lunch at 2-00 on Sunday. I've got a whole leg of lamb (£6-84 in Sainsb. special offer). Would you like to come and have some cold on Monday? They say it's going to be 29 degrees here then.

I still hope to be posting every day, TCL has to see Countdown every day and do his crossword puzzle, so I'll escape to my "study". I was going to say : "little room", but I didn't want you to get the wrong idea.

June 16th. Time to order the flowers!!!

Don't abandon me!! Anyway, I'll want to tell you how it's going.

Bye for now.