h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You didn't let me finish. Let's try this again. *carefully takes back the brick*

Now, you tell me, how many fingers I'm holding up. *holds up a hand*

Cat's don't have fingers!

Ya'll are harshin' my buzz.

*sigh* *Smashes TB's head in with the brick* That many fingers! And that's for suggesting that I be spayed you hemmoriodal infrastructure!

My head doesn't hurt enough to not laugh at other peoples misfortune.

By the way, I'd like to complain about the food. The brains had far too many skull fragments in it. Cut my gums something awful, donchaknow?

What?!? The nerve!

I'll cut your gums up good! *kick in the mouth* Hiiiiiya!

Ow! My teeth and not my gums in any way!

Oh ya? Someone hand me something pointy!

Mergle flergle? I call self-defense! *reopens FF's head with the brick*

And now I call hunger pains

*passes out again*

*eats half of FF's remaining brains*

Mmmmm. Cognilicious!

Owwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fun fraction time! Half of half is one quarter! You've only got one fourth of your brain mass left

You should theoretically still be smarter than a doorknob.

*dies*

Huh. Oops. Oh well. Better not let those brains go to waste *orgy of violence and gluttony*

Mmm mmm good. Hypothetically, you should become a zombie too. Not as eloquent as Claw zombie but still..

*zombified*
Braaaiinnssss!!!

Did you just have some kind of orgy with my brains...

Still smarter than a door knob? You mean she's becoming more intelligent the more of her brains you eat?

*repeirs damage to skull*

Anyway it's a good job I'm male and so don't keep my brains in my head.

*smacks TB with a baseball bat*

Oh yes you do. Men do keep them in their head. Just not the one that I aimed at. ANYWAY:

Grahagh! Krrrrll harmanz!

PS: Orgy doesn't always refer to sex. Por ejemplo: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/34446805/ (actually not a relevant example at all).

That reminds me I haven't been on UD for ages.