Journal Entries
~~HAPPY~NEW~YEAR~2005~~
Posted Jan 1, 2005
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Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Jan 1, 2005
HA! And you thought that our SHOW music was hard?!?! HAHA!
Posted Dec 31, 2004
LMAO!!! this is the bst song ever, and i highly advise you to read the lovely little coments
anyone fool hearty enough to try this... make sure you contact your local
1) hospital
2)fire department
3)electician
4)poliece
5) next of kin
6) limb attachment company
good luck!
http://www.marchingbandplanet.com/index.php?showtopic=4650&st=0&p=101981&#entry101981
~~
~HAPPY~NEW~YEAR~~~
cheers
ford
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 31, 2004
Worst Dream Imagineable
Posted Dec 31, 2004
ok, well, i know you all think im a big band nerd, i eat band, sleep band, breathe band.... and your probably thinking "you didnt have a dream about band did you? OH YOU NERD!!"
but i did... but it wasnt about the parade, or compititions, or even Wed night rehersal... it was about what i dread most when flying with people i care about....
We were just coming home from NY... we didnt go to salt lake, we went to san fransisco! Wich, didnt really suprise me, because i knew that our captain was an utter nut job! They turned the TV screens on so we could see our flight plan... straight over the san fransisco bay, just like in real life.
I continued talking to sara, and we were kind of ease dropping on mr lovell, when the captain comes on and says "Uh... Laidies and Gentelmen, we have been sceduled to landon a different runway than the one shown on your screen, there apperently has been some Uh... difficulties on the ground, thank you for your cooperation"
Just then a sight flashed through my mind, two planes had landed one eachother and caused a major wreck. "well" i thought "At least they told us"
We started to bank for the other side of the airport, with plenty of time to get to our runway, but the pilot cranked the wheel... we started to fall sideways (just as i had done many times on flight simulator) and i just knew we were going down. I held on to sara so we could comfort eachother (sorry erika i have no idea where you are!)
then it happened, we hit the water and the plane just fell apart.
I dont remember how i got to the surface, but i did it, and swam tot he shore with some old guy following and got on land. Once i checked to make sure i wasnt to badly injured, i tried to help and to see if there were any survivors by the shore, i didnt see anymore, and i was getting really dizzy, so i went to go sat down.
To my relief, I saw sara going to get towels for everyone that climbed out of the wrecage, then i saw aaron walk up to me, he comforted me alittle, but i could tell he was scared, as we all were. When sara got back with the towels, my mind skipped forward, we were back in elko... sortof, it was more of a new yorkish elko... like were doing the phili parade again... or it was rehersal, or something! i walked past the flutes, there were 6... only 6 made it back out unharmed... i saw nathalie and kelsey, those were the only 2 fluets i knew. i walked up to them and asked if everyone made it out ok. They looked down and said "Erin didnt make it" (wich i think i should add.. i dont think she is in band anymore) and i just lost it! I started bawling, my family, gone. went over to the saxes... me and spencer and aaron and kaitie... and the other katie... and tyler was in the hospital... we were the only saxes left
mind skipped ahead again, to monday that we go to school...
I was at the intersection by the practice field and the pool, and i was driving to school, when i saw a bunch of cars... everyone in them just stared ahead, like nothing was wrong. Ofcorese, THEY didnt know that my family was torn apart by a careless pilot! Then, bob drove by, he gave me this look, the look he gave me when i saw him at the mall in reno after compitition... the "why didnt you call me? i thought you liked me!" look... i got so mad, how can someone be thinking of that when Parents just lost their kids! Drove me insane!
skip
I was in speech class, and we had to do current events... everyone looked at me (im usually the first one to go) so i stood up and sulked to the fron of the class... i started to speak "this weekend, the elko highschool band went to NY... and... when we came...." and i couldnt finish, i lost it right there, and started to cry... thats when i woke up, i was sobbing!! and sara and erika were on my bed (we had a sleepover lastnight) and they were ok... so i left my room, dried my eyes, and thanked 'josh' that it was just a dream... the feeling still lingers though...
cheers
ford
Discuss this Journal entry [77]
Latest reply: Dec 31, 2004
Nice Band nerd jokes... *cough cough*
Posted Dec 31, 2004
what do ten baritones sound like under water?
a good idea
How man trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the world revolves around them!
What do pirates and trumpet players have in common?
They are both murder on the high C's!
What is a gentleman?
Somebody who knows how to play the trumpet, but doesn't.
How many trumpets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
Why can't a gorilla play trumpet?
He's too sensitive.
What do trumpet players use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
"But Johnny, you can't do both."
What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces.
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.
How can you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.
Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.
Why is the French horn a divine instrument?
Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.
What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?
You can tune a '57 Chevy.
What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawn mower and don't return it!
What do you do with a bad trumpet player? Give him two sticks and make him a percussionist... What do you do with a bad percussionist? Take one stick away and make him a conductor!
If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
Answer... the out-of-tune sax player! Reason...the other two indicate you've been hallucinating!
What should you do if you run over a euphonium? Back up!
How many second trumpets does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't reach that high.
How do you know when a horn section is outside your door?
N one knows when to come in.
What's the difference between a trumpet player and a French horn player?
Hrn players think that they are gifts from God and Trumpet players know it.
What's the difference between a pizza and a drummer?
The pizza can feed a family of four
A girl went out on a date with a trumpet player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was it? Did his embouchure make him a great kisser?"
"Nah," the first girl replied. "That dry, tight, tiny little pucker; it was no fun at all."
The next night she went out with a tuba player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"
"Ugh!" the first girl exclaimed. "Those huge, rubbery, blubbery, slobbering slabs of meat; oh, it was just gross!"
The next night she went out with a French horn player, and when she came back her roommate asked, "Well, how was his kissing?"
"Well," the first girl replied, "his kissing was just so-so; but I loved the way he held me!"
conductor:
leaps tall buildings in a single bound
is more powerful than a locomotive
is faster than a speeding bullet
walks on water gives policy to god
percussionist:
falls over the doorstep when trying to enter buildings
says "look at the choo-choo"
wets himself with a water pistol
plays in mud puddles
loses arguments with himself
saxophone player:
runs into buildings
recognizes locomotives 2 times out of 3
is not issued any ammunition
can stay afloat with a life jacket
talks to walls, argues with himself
clarinet player: (Dedicated to a clarinet player I know)
Too afraid too jump building because of their reed
Works in locomotives
too busy with reed for gun
throws reed into water
thinks reed is god
trombone player:
leaps short buildings in a single bound
is more powerful than a switch engine
is just as fast as a speeding bullet
walks on water if sea is calm
talks with god
flautist:
barely clears a Quonset hut
loses tug-of-war with locomotive
can fire a speeding bullet
swims well
is occasionally addressed by god
oboist:
leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
is almost as powerful as a switch engine
is almost as fast as a speeding bullet
walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
talks to god if special request is approved
bassoonist:
makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings
is run over by a locomotive
can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
dog-paddles
talks to animals
trumpet player:
argues with building when it won't get out of the way
sleeps in locomotive
claims it's too easy to catch bullets in teeth explaining why he really can't
saves water to drink after every triple C
thinks he's god.
horn player:
lifts buildings and walks under them
kicks locomotives off the tracks
catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them
freezes water with a single glance
is god
So... Two Tuba Players walk past a bar... Well, it could happen!
How do you get two flutes to play in unison. . . . . .
shoot one.
Alright, well there was an orchestra concert coming up, and they were going to end with Beethoven's 9th Symphony. However, some of the orchestra memebers decided to play a joke on the conductor and tied the pages of the score closed so that they wouldn't open. The Bassoon players had some freetime before the concert as well, and so they went out for a few beers.
When I was asked how the concert went, I said "It was exciting! It was the bottom of the 9th, the score was tied, and the bassists were loaded!"
What's the difference between a saxaphone and a chainsaw?
The exhaust.
How does a trumpet player introduce himself?
"Hi, I'm better than you"
How many Bari Sax players does it take to bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ten; one to stir the batter and nine to peel the M&Ms.
*cough* AARON! *cough*
cheers
ford
Discuss this Journal entry [45]
Latest reply: Dec 31, 2004
92 things to do when your bored
Posted Dec 30, 2004
wax the cieling
losten lug nuts on your dads new car
drop cat from high place to see if it really lands on its feet
repeat above untill faliure
rearrange political campaign sighns
sharpen your teeth
play houdini with one of your siblings
braid your dogs hair
clean and polish your belly button
water your dog, see if he grows
wash a tree
Genuflect to Lawrence Welk
Kight yourself and some close friends
Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending
Flirt with an evergreen
Scare Steven King
Give your cat a mohawk
Purr
Mow the carpet
rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings)
Whine
Play Pat Boone records backwards
Re-elect Richard Nixon
Dress like your favorite heavymetal group.... scare your grandmother
Listen to a painting
play with matches
trip an old lady
buff your cat
raise professinal racing ferrets
Paint your room day glo orange
dial-a-prayer and argue
read Homer in the origional greek
learn Greek
change your mind
change it back
watch the sun, see if it moves
Mail Herry falwell a Husteler magasine
Recite romantic poetry... to your toaster
paint your windows
flash your goldfish
paint
smile
paint a smile
shoot a fire hydrant
apologise to it
see if you can really create a small newuclear weapon in your basement
rotate your garden, daily
plant a shoe
wright letters to the political officials that ar representing you and tell them what a good job they are doing on 4/1
sweat
give a roschach (ink blot) test to your girbil
take apart all your major kitchen appliances
mix and match the parts
turn your tv picture tube upside down
take your sofa for a walk
wright a letter to Plato
mail it
start
stop
dial 911... breathe heavily
go to a funeral... tell jokes
put lighted EXIt sighns on all your closets
carry a tune
drop it to see if it breas
starch your shos
contemplate a cocroach
get a dog to chase your car
let him catch it
form a political party
Throw a political party
climb a sidewalk
ride a loaf of bread
annoy yourself
get angry with yourself
stop speaking to yourself
kiss and make up
stand on your head
stand on someone elses head
learn all there is to know about the Holey Roman Empire
Read a Harlequine Romance novel.... but only if you are REALLY bored!
build a pyramid
paint your teeth
wear a salad
speak with a forked tounge
MAKE a drive in window at your local bank
walk on water... but DONT get caught
shave a shrub
have a proton fight
watch a car rust
quiver
confess to a crime that you didnt comit
learn to type with your toes
Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
haha! these mad me laugh... i hope i made your day less boring! SMILE!
cheers
ford
Discuss this Journal entry [92]
Latest reply: Dec 30, 2004
Ford_Prefect "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"Apocalypse 2006 REPRESENT!
Researcher U565418
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