h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you're sharp tonight prof

UPDATE!

Seems this person is a known drug addict. He 'had' threatened staff with a broken bottle, then managed to get upstairs via the staff walkways, where the police cornered him. He then slashed his arm with the bottle, but was dealt with by paramedics at the scene.

Oh hum! Nowhere is safe these days.

Did I ever tell you about when my sister-in-law was kept hostage in the papershop by a man with a machete, while her husband was outside in the car?

Life gets unnecessarily interesting sometimes, doesn't it?

It can be. I think I forgot to mention about the sister-in-law... It was around the time when I was using the strong painkillers, and I was in and out of hospital. Amazing what barely registering at that time

I'm pretty sure you did mention the machete business, somewhere. It's a bit hard to forget something like that.

We must have had a conversation about it


Poor sister-in-law is still mortified that she wet herself... Personally, I would have had an attack of the double intercontinentals!

I'd be sat in the car thinking how peaceful it was...

Sorry...

I'll tell The Missus what you said

Crivvens, lil.

Some people have no sense of occasion

Occasion? Are we talking about shopping at Asda, being held hostage, or 10 minutes of peace from The Missus?

You've never been to Harpurhey have you? The local chavs seem to think *anything* is an occasion (judging by the way they're dressed anyway)

Where? Nope, never heard of it!

I remember shopping in an Asda in Liverpool years ago. Me and The Missus watched 2 separate families eating a packet of biscuits the'd picked up off the shelf - when they'd finished, they threw the wrappers back into the shelves, and carried on shopping!

As for Harpurhey - have a look on my PS at the bit that says "Where are you?" - fancy joining the gang?

alcohol abuse of the worst kind

i'm glad nothing bad happened to you, lil

Sweethearts, I was never in any danger - promise

the agro was at the opposite end to where the Chardonnay was

I've a feeling it was in that very same aisle

if I had been there, get the nutter out and I'll save the whisky, what I can't carry I'll drink so it wet the floor

err!
I'll drink so it DON'T wet the floor(got carried away just with the thought

I know that there are definitely spirits on the shelves in the aisle with the chardonnay