h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Aussies don't like either, but if we didn't drink the stuff, just think of all the breweries that would have to close, plus the people who would be thrown out of a job....



Peeb

at 5ft 3ins, shorts are my limit3 pints of lager and I'd be leggless

My eldest daughter Jodi has just arrived with the following statements and requests...

1) "Dad, your flat is nice and clean, and smells nice".

2) "Dad, can I "borrow" $50?"

3) "Dad, my swimming pool has gone green. Can you clean it for me?"

4) "Dad, I need to buy pool chemicals and can you "borrow" me another $50 to pay for them?"

5) "Dad, Haylee(my eldest grandaughter), is going to do extra dancing lessons. Can you help with the extra cost?"

6) "Dad, do you want to stay for dinner?. If you buy the Leg of Lamb, I will cook it. Oh, and we need some vegetables too, so can you get those as well?"

7) "Dad, petrol is cheap today. Can you put $20 worth in my car?"

8) "Dad, if you stay the night and watch the on TV, can you buy some ?"

9) "Dad, can I have that ice cream in your freezer?"

10) "Dad, I will pay you back next week"

Thank Goodness that Jodi didn't write the Ten Commandments....





Peeb

daughter, don't you know dad's disowning you

Ah, the joy of being the "Bank of Dad", I have a money pit just like that at home. It's a dark art, the way she gets money out of me. Is it innate or learned? Do they collude with friends on tactics and amounts they've mugged us Dads for?
Remainder of the time, apparently, I'm "such a freak", thus are the erudite words of Fourteen year old daughter.

I remember how I was with my Dad.. So I would say it is definitely an inherited capacity... passed down from generations of females..

my dad was that tight, my 10p pocket money was only given for 2 weeks then stoppedumpteen years later(with 2 kids of my own), why didn't you remind me

As Hubby says: 'You love watching men suffer'...

I think I've missed out on something - I never ask my father for money, though I could really use some right about now because they've raised the Uni fees again

..I don't mind when the kids ask me for money..

If they ever paid me back in one hit though, I would be richer than Bill Gates....



Peeb

Ah, that explains why I'm poorer than a Church Mouse, and such a freak allegedly (see profound statements of fourteen year old girl above). I'm sure it's God's punishment for enjoyiong myself too much in a previous life.

I a not rich, nor am I poor....

But I am sure whenever I go to use an ATM, my kids "smell" the cash being withdrawn......and phone me the minute I get home...




Peeb

I'm that poor I was mugged and had £10 given

Tell me who it was Prof. I'll get them for you. I'm very good at that sort of thing. How much pain would you like me to apply? The and have been in my face all day at work today None of them has the B (rhymes with halls)to go for it with me. I need a +

Absolutely did no housework today, but have to do heaps tomorrow and Monday....

I have some flying to do this week, for an interview for a new job, then my weekend away straight afterwards.....

My daughters will have to await my return if they need any more of the "folding stuff".....



Peeb

Good luck! Let us know if it's a or a . Sure someone will cheer you up if it's the latter. You can always come and do my job, they'll take anyone on here. Sure they just drag people in off of the street as they walk past. I was just on my way back from Uni one day when they got me

Norti, but unless your company wants a Metallurgist, and is prepared to pay relocation expenses, then I will stay here in Oz....



Peeb

It does involve a lot of metal work , running for alarms and rolling around on the floor. Relocation expenses, they won't even pay for the

In that case, maybe you should relocate to OZ...

They wouldn't have me!, I'm sure. Mind you, the UK did have a very good policy of relocating all our crims to Oz. Perhaps we should resurrect that idea and solve our overcrowding problems here. Make my job easier. Oz sends us our perverts back, I note