h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, I have the moral right to a speck of dust from the bank vault. I shall sulk until I get it.

Report the bank to the authorities and claim there must be something fishy

Then anonymously leak to the press that you have it on good authority that somebody reported the bank to the authorities claiming there was something fishy

That'll teach them

You are devious,

devious? moi?

*s to sell all his shares in aussie banks before they collapse*

Sell them to me - I'll give you a good price.

You'll have to buy my shares in icelandic banks as well

sorry, can't be donethey're melting due to some magma stuff

Iceland is one the the top places I'd love to visit for a holiday, but dream on as per

It's tempting, being offered shares in Icelandic banks... $5 should cover the lot.

in my wallet i carry a 10 million dollar note at all times

It's real money, I assure you!

Unfortunately it was issued by the national bank of Zimbabwe

and it expired 30th June 2008

at which time you could probably by a slice of dry bread with it...

unexpected windfall

http://www.scratchcards.org/featured/57603/100000-scratch-card-thrown-away

I can never throw out a scratch ticket without checking it at least three times...

As for absurd money - many years ago now, when I came back from Ecuador, I gave my sister a wad of banknotes. There must have been at least 50,000 sucres in that bundle, or, to put it another way, at least $1.25. She wasn't nearly as impressed when I explained that.

many years ago, I could have become a millionaire for £11, that would have got me 1,000,000 Turkish money at the time, but as I'd just become a single parent, I had to forsake becoming one

Never mind - one of these days another currency will go into freefall...

I still have a wad of german cash from the big inflation in the 1920's. 50 billion Reichsmark is just one of those notes

When a danish school class went to Prague a few years before the wall came down the teacher offered to illegally change their money in some alley and get a better price than the official bank offered

He came back to the hotel with lots and lots of cash and was very pleased with himself...

...until one of the students pointed out that what he got them was polish sloty - completely worthless...

So, did they take a quick detour to Poland?

Somewhere I have some 1923 German postage stamps for completely absurd amounts. Two trillion Reichsmark, amounts like that. Impossible to comprehend, really.

My great-grandfather was a barber back then. Every time a customer paid for a shave or a haircut his son (my grandfather) was sent to the bakery immediately to buy bread

If he waited too long the price could double!

My grandfather was a barber. He joined the army in 1914 and was almost sent off to fight in the Middle East, but he caught scarlet fever before he left Australia. All his hair fell out and it never grew back. He became a barber so he could still run his fingers through hair every morning, or so he claimed.

he had good reasons to celebrate anzac day, i reckon

I'm not sure that he ever did observe it as such - but I know I owe my existence to the fact that he never left the country.