h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If we're the Land Down Under...and you guys are lower than us...what does that make you ??

(I really just stopped by to say howdy, and because you look like you could use the company...and how lucky are you - you get me !)

Thanks for the visit

It makes no sence but you've got expect that from those people in the northern hemisphere. They called you the land down under.

Maybe they're just unwilling to accept the possibility that we may be on top of the world ??

I mean, we run by GMT, English time...England's 11 hours behind us, so they'd be 13 hours behind you guys...who decides to control time when they don't even get it first??

(haven't had my coffee yet, is it obvious ?)

How are ya son? How goes it ?

It goes better now thanks

Speaking of the time thingy. Over here they played the new year celebrations of each country as they caught up on 2000. I was well bored by the time they got to europe.

I have mates in the UK and USA...so I was call them in the afternoon of the day before...half cut and yelling "I love you" over the phone...

...and by the time they called back I was asleep ...

You mean aussie

It's a good one though

Do you really own a gun?

sod off dave

I get the feeling I missed something...

Nothing important

That's ok, I know ...

How could it possibly be something important if it had nothing to do with me ??

It's been so long since a major sporting event was all over TV that I had forgot about Aussie modesty.

BTW where have you been lately?

I'm modest, but sometimes we have to be honest...I will hide my lamp under no bushel...or whatever it was...

(if you ever meet my Dad tell him I made a bible reference...just to prove that all the money he shelled out on sending me to a Catholic school wasn't wasted )

...of course I'm a very modest person, as I am clever, funny and enetertaining...

(Ok. I couldn't even TYPE that without laughing )

I do hope you weren't talking about the world cup...because everyone I know was expecting the All Blacks to kick our @rse (it would've been far less embarassing than losing to the poms )

Sorry I've been away...got a stomach bug...from my sister's boyfriend...you know there's something wrong when you're catching diseases from your sister's boyfriend...

PS - I have mentioned that I'm barely human before lunch, haven't I? Well, I haven't even had me coffee yet

PPS - How are you ??

I'm doing much better. Since the weather's cooled down my health has been on the repair, thanks

I have two questions;

How did you catch that bug

And more importantly, do you still have the Catholic uniform

I've just grabbed my lunch of pototo wedges, steak pie and vanilla coke. Belive it or I was too late for the healthy food. No honest I was

It's supposed to be in the 30s here today...I aint no sunbunny, so I intend to stay indoors all day ...it's ridiculous of course...my Mum is Koorie...but even my blue-eyed, blond (well, he was blond ) father tans...I freckle and burn

As for answers
1) I caught it off my sister (pervert!)
2) No, my parents have them (pervert!)



Man, I haven't gotten to say pervert so often since I stopped hanging out with a 40 year old guy that used to be my best friend ...

Oh, they ran out of healthy food, did they ...yes...I can see your pain.......poor angel....

I must be catching the perversions from my wife.

A 40 year old best friend sounds pretty creepy. I'm 27 and the next youngest where I work turned 40 late last year.

Yesterday I wanted to be bad but the only food left was healthy but that's not the worst. The woman who runs the till looks just like my mother-in-law but she's nice. I thought my mind was playing tricks until my wife had lunch with me and said "ooo that's creepy"

When I was little I had skin like photocopy paper in colour which burnt and whent back to white but now I brown and freckle. Apparently the trick used a few generations back was coconut oil.

I have a very easily influenced brain...I think the main reason I'm not in a mental institution at the moment is because I'd come out worse than i went in

...the thing is, I went to an all girls High school...and hated it with a passion...so for two years afterwards I didn't want to associate with girls at all...

I started going to the pub by myself when I was about 19. I made friends with the pool guys, which was mostly guys in their 30s and 40s...so I spent a great deal of my "legal" life around guys who were 20 years older than me...I was always one of the boys, (though some of them had to learn the hard way)...I could look after myself better than most of them could, so I ended up with their respect in the end

So your lunch lady looks like your mother-in-law ? That's bizarre......that'd just freak me out entirely...mostly because I don't have a mother in law...

I used to be very pale growing up...these days I still am most of the time, unless it's summer...which I usually spend somewhere between a dirty beige or lobster red ...

So in a nutshell it's all down to a miss spent youth which seems to be the norm for someone just out of catholic school.

That's about teh size of it !

Defined in 19 posts (less three for interuption) has gotta be some kinda record