Journal Entries
Chairs, ears.
Posted Jul 16, 2004
I have a chair!
Let me explain, before you all think I've gone completely crazy. Again.
For a couple of years now I'd had the idea of creating a completely ergonomic workstation, by attaching a computer to a chair; embedded, usability tested, yaddayadda. Sort of like the chairs in the matrix, except cheaper to make 'coz I have sodall money. So I finally managed to save up enough to start looking for a recliner. And I found one, eventually. It got delivered yesterday.
Last night, I visited my parents and mentioned this to them, and my mother replies "Oh by the way we say a thing on the news last week, about a guy down south who's already done that; he's marketing it overseas."
See this? This here is my sail...
...and there goes my wind.
I had been hoping that this would be a nice simple little project, fairly cheap to make, which I could then go off and market somewhere, and perhaps gain some capital to work my way out of this 
country.
But there's very little point now. 
Remember I live in a small country, population a touch over four million. This guy has already flooded the local market within a few months. There is no reason for me to attempt this project as an investment. I'm going to make one anyway, just for myself, but most of my drive behind it is gone.
How come whenever I get anything done... whenever I dare to dream... something rushes in and takes my dream and crushes it and stomps on it and burns it and spits on the ashes and sows salt on the place where it was so that nothing will grow again.
No wonder I have no enthusiasm for life any more. This happens to me Every. Damn. Time.
I wish I could write about positive stuff in this journal, instead of using it to vent. Am I a negative person? Am I the only person who sees this? Why can't karma be real?
Oh, and Wendy and I broke up on saturday. And then I quit my job; kind of tricky to justify at the moment, but it was necessary. I'm trying to be positive; I've had some okay days since then... mostly spent doing random nothings on the computer trying to pretend reality doesn't exist.
And my lectures are kindof interesting, although they seem like they'll be a lot of work in the near future.
Chin up, stiff upper lip, chest out, buttocks clenched firmly, yadda yadda.
Gee a RL hug would be nice. 
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Jul 16, 2004
Yadda
Posted Jun 15, 2004
I'm feeling just a little foolish at the moment; I thought my exam was today, but it's not. It's next tuesday. I blame stress. Still... at least it wasn't last week instead.
Wendy's kinda okay; I'm trying to keep her enthused to come up to visit me when she gets out of hospital. I hope she can.
I feel like writing an entry, but I'm not sure what I could do one on. Perhaps the creation of chainmail? There isn't much else that I could describe without assuming prior knowledge - most of the stuff I know well enough to explain are either to do with AI, which is complicated and diverse and I'd have to explain too much background for my liking; or medieval enactment, most of which would involve combat techniques which would a) have to be shown not described, and b) probably not be approved of so much by the beeb-beeb-ceeb.
Thinking cap time, perhaps.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Jun 15, 2004
Gravity.
Posted Jun 5, 2004
Well... what the hell do I say?
My girlfriend tried to kill herself on monday.
She's still in hospital - she was admitted on tuesday afternoon, and treated for the drugs she took on monday night.
I'm staying at her flat at the moment, and she has a very slow 'net connection so I'll probably be back on line again whenever I get back to Hamilton.
Don't worry about me, I'll be okay. So will she, I think. Although I thought that last week too, and I was wrong.
This was on the front page today; A2528101. It's really beautiful.
It's saturday morning; I'd better get some sleep. It's been a long week. Goodnight all.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Jun 5, 2004
More current events
Posted May 27, 2004
The assignment is continuing... see the journal entry below.
I would just like to inform all present that my mind is currently melting. I've been here for about six hours, and I'm about half way through.
http://www.cs.waikato.ac.nz/~eibe/COMP316A/Assignments/Assignment5.html
When I've finished that, I've got an addendum for another assignment to do.
And if you think the questions are yucky you should see the proofs and the theory in the book! If anybody /really/ cares, I'm happy to e-mail my answers to you. Just to turn your mind into cheese, too.
*This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by the letter raspberry.* 
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: May 27, 2004
Current events
Posted May 27, 2004
Well, what can I say? Life is... continuing. Mostly along the same lines. I have a large assignment due tomorrow, for my one remaining paper. The others, I've thrown out the window.
So of course I'm on H2G2 at the same time, failing to avoid distracting myself. I probably would've had the assignment done by now, but I just spent seven days out of the city, for good reasons.
Yet another reevaluation of my life has happened over the last week or so, amounting to not much I didn't already know:
I need more money. I'm sick of not being able to feed myself. Indeed, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Now that I've unofficially become a part-time student, I now have the time to find a part-time job. Not that I hold much hope of finding one, but I need to anyway.
I need to do more things for my own amoosement. Things I enjoy: Medieval enactment. Being creative, designing things which have never been attempted before.
...
Um.
I'm sure there's got to be more than that.
I'll get back to you.
So, my current to-do list looks something like:
-Finish this assignment. (Well it /is/ important!)
-Print out my CV.
-Also print out the spec sheet for the chainmail machine.
-Send out spec sheet.
-Distribute CV. (Tomorrow - it's getting late)
-Get job.
-Get money.
-Buy links.
-Make chainmail. Usually I'd make my own links, but I have an idea of something I want to try and unfortunately it means I have to buy them for once.
-Meanwhile, make authentic medieval boots. Or something close enough, at least.
-Recover my helmet from Wellington. Hopefully by then I'll have enough money that I can buy that coat I've been wanting for ages, when I get there. We'll see.
-Meanwhile, learn the ancient Norse language. (Just found a good website! That'll save me doing that paper on Medieval Icelandic through the Auckland university.)
-Also I want to look into a paper or short course on mechatronics. I'd like to be doing something hands-on again, but can't afford to do a full degree on it.
-Meanwhile, Recover quotes for the chainmail machine.
-Compile a business plan.
-Get a business startup grant from the Regional Economic Development Agency.
-Make chainmail, and get paid for it.
-Save up enough money to develop the other OEM prototypes.
-Get the hell out of the country.
Gee that sounds like a good plan. Pity most of those things I've already had several attempts at, and keep getting obstructed.
I still feel like a sheep drowning in a pool, but what else can I do but keep struggling?
Thanks to those of you who were there for me, in one way or another, over the last couple of weeks. I'm not feeling a hell of a lot better, but at least I have a bit more energy. I suspect all I need is some kind of external motivation, to compensate for my lack of internal motivating forces. If I can build up some momentum things might start to improve. I hope so.
Ah well, back to the assignment, while I'm still enthused by my own intentions.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: May 27, 2004
Back to Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.'s Personal Space Home
Jerms - a Brief flicker and then gone again.
Researcher U520822
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."