h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What can I say mate, not really one the more 'admirable' women in the building(if y'know what I mean...there's admirable & then there's 'admirable').

And then there is Dazza with his trusty No 1 Wood rready to tee off......Fore....

Really need to work on my swing ...& I suppose a ball might aid in the prrocess too!

Dazza..it is always advisable to start off with two balls in case you lose one when you first tee off...they are prone to bursting on impact, you know.... Also, it is golf etiquette that requires you to yell out..Fore....Play....if you follow the rules as laid down by certain sporting bodies...especially when those bodies get close and comfortable...take my wise advice, my son..do not stray into the bushes...

'bursting on impact'! You'll scare me off 'golf' for life, mate!

It is a well established fact Dazza, that when you play a round with a lady, both your and her balls tend to go astray and off the fairways, and you both spend sweaty and anxious moments trying to play shots of difficulty..and penalty shots apply if you go Out of Bounds... And be sure to hand in your scorecard at the end of your round, even if your fingers and knees are trembling at your score....

Kat wishes for me to give her some lessons in golf...she swings well, but can't seem to make contact with the ball...maybe it is a distance factor......I try to teach her to address the ball more closely, but she likes to stand back and deliver....Fooooorrrrre...or should that be Phwoar...

Hmm, just needs ...'polish' her technique, I'd say.

Well Dazza, I think it was Arnold Palmer's wife who famously said that each time before he played in a Major Tournament, that she would kiss his balls before he went out and played..No wonder he won lots of Majors....

Morning Stephen and Darrell, Golf I am hopeless at, I have tried craxy golf and I cannot even hit the ball.

Hello Kat! How've you been? Golf doesn't interest me somehow...though I do spend a fair bit of time playing billiards(in my own private billiard parlour)on the computer.

Hello StephenI have been very well today My late Grandad and Dad both played billiards and snooker. It has been a very good day weather wise. I hope you have been keeping well. I have been talking to my Mam about you quite a lot, every time I see her. She is very happy about us.

Hello Kat, for the delay..I have been telling my kids all about you...

Good Morning All... Today I see my about the results of my CT Scan and the Blood Tests.. I hope he recommends that I need a Live-in- to cater to my everyday needs and desires.. Are there any s, female of course, who are desirous of a job here in Oz as my Lifetime Carer..There is one I know of called Kat, but I don't know if she is available, so I might have to tempt and coax here to come here for me..... Any Ideas on what I should offer her in terms of salary, accomodation, transport costs, etc?......

Good Morning Stephen I hope that the results of your CT Scan and Blood tests from your went well. Stephen I will be your lifetime carer .

Good Morning Kat...You have been successful in your application to be my and carerXXXXXXXXxxx I will tell any other s who apply to away before you get here, as they better not get in your way....

Good Morning Stephen I hope you will have a good day. XXXXXXXX

Good Morning All, and especially Kat... It's to be alive, in good health and in with an .......................