h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm glad I'm not in the circle. Does this mean there are no women present? It's lowering the tone a bit.

Sorry. I thought Evil Giraffe was in charge of tone lowering. Erects large screen around circle. Paints tasteful scenes from ancient Roman days on screen. Caligula stands out.

Ew - you can count ME right out of that circle, I haven't got the right 'bits'

It was the counting heads request that put me on the wrong track. Mortified, Loony locks himself in the vomitorium.

Come out of your vomitoriom Loony, there is ne'er do welling to do

Okay, I seem to be getting a headache. Didn't good and evil used to be easier to define?

The way I see it, rusty armored-dillo and myself are Evil-folk, and it seems that Fate Amenable To Change has evil inclinations as well.

Vestboy, Olaf the, er, Hesitant and Grey are displaying "Goody" placards, as is TRED, although he is being inexorably drawn to evil.

RSBohn is an unknown quantity expressing neither good nor evil intent.

And Løønytünes»» ... Well, frankly Løøny has some major issues that he needs to address.

Yes. Consider me to have evil intent, and the sinister laughter to go with it, mwa.

Glad to have you with us. Quick to the "super hero" forum thingy to whip some non-evil type butt!

But firstly, a few formalities. We need to know the extent of your evil-ness, your evil powers, and most recent evil accomplishment. Apologies for this, but bureaucracy is evil!

Bwaaaa-haaa-har, me hartys.

The extent of my evilness? My evil knows no bounds. My evil powers , well now, that would be making it all just a little bit too easy for those who are against me. I'm evil. Not stupid.

We may not be bright but we're good. The more evil that congregates in one place the better. We don't have to go hunting around for it. Now where did I put that 4 acre fly swat? Or should I be measuring in hectares now?

Ha ha! Have tracked you down Vestboy! Runs swiftly around the swat and yes! she shoots she scores, Tea in your eyes buddyboy. And now you are unable to see me flee. Mwa mwa mwa!!

You can measure what you want (without getting too personal), because while you are measuring, we are taking over the world. Admittedly rather slowly, forum by forum.

Bwa-ha-na-ha. Doo-doo-da-do-do.

P.S Superman appears to be harmless

Who is P.S Superman?

She scores?
FATC is a woman! And I don't take sugar in tea!
Which way did she go? Why did I tie my vest string to a towel in another forum?
If I get within range I'll let her have it with both legs of my underpant elastic gun.

Perhaps that should have read Pst Superman. Maybe he's harmless because he's pst (ho ho).
Are you criticizing my typing? Bloody cheek, and there was me trying to do evil a good turn, tsk

You can never do evil a good turn. That's like doing good an evil turn! Anyway, thanks to your quick thinking we have repelled the dwarven menace from the Super Hero forum.

Now, we must vanquish Vestboy!

ah-ah-awB

See they just don't appreciate you.
Your tea was quite good - you were doing them a good turn - is a pattern emerging here? We can offer you competitive rates for the job and all the cabbage and pineapple lardcake you can eat.

The tea stains will remain on my vest forever - in your memory.

Trying to bribe Fate is edging toward evil wouldn't you say? Vestboy, I can see that glint in your eye. I know you are wondering whether you have chosen the correct course. It's not too late. Evil welcomes latecomers!

Bwaaaaaaa-ha-haaaaaa!

Hmm, maybe you have a point, perhaps the Path of Evil isn't for me... I shall retreat to near my kettle and ponder the meaning of it all