h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Twin 1 dematerializes completely this time, flies backwards, and resolidifies in the van.]

[Twin 1] We are getting aggrivated.

[Twin 2] Yes, we noticed.

*still hanging onto the top of the car*

Aaaahhh!!!

*Manages to clamber back into the car, knocking both twins, causing the car to veer out of control, due to no-one driving*

Hey, has anyone played that matrix game? "enter the matrix" i think...

no, I haven't seen the 2nd and 3rd films either...

*continues his sun-focussing antics*

*as Twin 1 dematerializes the pressure on RD's sword arm suddenly disappears and RD falls uncontrollably forward. Doomgiver's tip slices easily through the floor pan of the STUMPED van severing all sorts of stuff*


Ooops

*struggles*

*rolls eyes*

Hit the brakes!

[NYC] I would NEVER--

*DD comes scrambling up the cabin to press down the brake pedal, which has no effect. Someone must've cut the brake fluid. NYC seems nonplussed, then turns the automatic towards the floor of the cabin*

*BlamBlamBlamBlamBlamBlamBlam!*

*Red Dog looks at NYC strangely; NYC looks back and shrugs*

[NYC] Whaaat? You mean they're NOT clinging to the undercarriage?

[Red Dog] Could you PLEASE look where you're driving?!

[NYC] Oh... Right!

*SCREECH*

[The Twins hurriedly gain control of their car, and try to knock Justin loose by slamming the car against the side of the guardrail.]

[The police have, by this time, started chasing after them. Two of the police officers turn into Agent Orange and Agent Spoony.]

[Orange] We must get them.

[Spoony] Get who?

[Orange] Well, among others, the Exile.

[Spoony] Oh right.

*now madder than hell RD places Doomgiver back in it's scabbard and pulls out a couple of modified Heckler and Koch machine pistols and starts to shoot out the tyres on the twins vehicle, the police car, passing cars, a fire truck, several lorries, a tractor, two tankers, an invalid carriage, several hundred traffic cones and an ice cream van for good measure*

There. I'm feeling better now

Invalid Carriage? Is that the same as an ambulance? You Brits...


*NYC swerves over and just barely makes an exit ramp, hoping to dupe his pursuers by a plot to get right back on the freeway once more. Or, at least he'd do so, if he wasn't so sure that his thoughts were transmitted in some fashion to the system that is-- hey, what are you doing to me! Hands off! Get away, get away! Aaaauu---...*

*NYC swerves over and down an exit ramp*

[NYC] Hold on! No brakes means big detours!

[Yar] Oh, crap.

[Agent Orange chooses that moment to climb out of the police car, and jumps over the traffic. He lands in the hood of the Twins' van, which smashes, then leaps up to land on the top of the STUMPED van, while meanwhile the Twins' van goes crashies into the traffic behind it. Agent Orange then rips the top of the STUMPED van open and aims his Desert Eagle at NYC.]

*NYC looks up, and point his automatic*

*clickclickclick*

*Agent Orange smirks. NYC shrugs and looks plaintively*

[NYC] Err, if I die, we all die?

[Agent Orange] I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.

[NYC] Well, crap!

*NYC, at the end of the off-ramp, does a hard right turn onto a wide divided boulevard. The henchman on the Pig swings it so it aims back in the van - himself hanging outside the van - and starts firing wildly up at the roof. NYC does a hard left into the opposing direction at the next intersection, causing the henchman to swing wildly on his M60, knocking a few holes into the side of the van, and generally creating a bit more uneasy tension with the passengers involved. The henchman rights himself, and NYC starts weaving through traffic*

*is successively flung from one side of the van to another unable to do anything but swear loudly and often ......



....... and take the pin out of a M15 White Phosphorous grenade and throw it at Agent Orange who goes up like a roman candle at about 5,000 degrees Fahrenheit*


Coooooo - look at that



Invalid carriage also unkindly known as a spazz chariot icon of bad design and misfortune at http://www.virtualgaz.co.uk/invacarpage.htm and yes I know it was a tad sicko to mow one down but when you see a picture of the invacar you'll understand why it had to be done

*Just before the twins car crashes, Justin gets dislodged (yet again), and goes flying off and smacks into the agents car*

[Agent Orange] Oh bug[KABOOM]

[He then takes up residence in a fat guy in a jeep, who promptly dies of a heart attack. In the Source, loud swearing is heard.]

[Agent Spoony] [noticing Justin] Hi there! [swerves the car around to try and crash it.]

*starts lobbing M15 grenades out of the back of the van at random just for a bit of a giggle *

*Jumps off the agents car rather ungracefully, landing on the front of a Petrol tanker Truck*

(Justin): Oi! Mind if I Borrow this for a while?

(Stunned Driver): ....................

*Climbs into the cab, and promptly gets behind the wheel of the truck*

*NYC signals back at the Keymaker*

[NYC] Any door you see fit, just holla!


Yes. I agree now. Definitely.