h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Kiwis? You are allergic to kiwis? Funny, but that reminds me of something. I can't seem to recall...Wait! Do you get the sitcom "Friends" in Scotland? Because in one episode Ross eats kiwi pie and has an attack of swollen tongue. Does that happen to you too?

EV, you're doing great!

You won't be wanting this kiwi pie I brought to the party then?
*drops the CD* Oops.

*Quietly, between clenched teeth:*

That's Ok, EV. Pick it up and try again.

Did you bake that pie?

Wel, I don't get a swollen tongue or anything, I just get a tickling sensation on my tongue and in my throat. Not very pleasant, I must say. But I like Kiwi, so I can have a little bite of that kiwi pie of yours, EV.

Try removing the feathers first, that should cure the tickling sensation.
*puts the CD into the player correctly and goes to fetch the pie*

Oooohhh.. Good idea.. I should try that next time..

*returns*
Anyone for kiwi pie?

EV, what have I told you about eating all the pies?
And why do you lot have to talk so much when I'm not here? And then when I do finally get here, there's no one about!!

And finally the bathroom is free. I hope I pass inspection now.
Where's the booze?

I haven't eaten any pie, I'm offering it around.

I don't want pie, I want .

Fair enough.
*fetches *
But if nobody wants any pie, then I'll have to eat it all.

Oh, I would enjoy seeing you eat it all! We could sell tickets for that, Mina!

Of course, Roll Up Roll Up! Come and see the Great Pie Eating Competion! Only one contestant, lay your bets!

I'm placing my money on the pie.

I think you might be making a big mistake there Duke.

*wiping crumbs from his mouth*
What pie?

Damn you, EV.. I wanted some of that pie as well. Blast, I'll just have to settle for something else. Anyone got anything tasty to offer?

There's still some gravy left in the bottom of the dish.

I think that is an ex-pie.

It's ex-pie-red.
(Sorry.)