h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Speaking as a male, I would never ask a girl for a slow dance if she looked like she was going somewhere urgent. And if she looks uninterested... I just assume that she's uninterested! Why ask someone who looks as if she'll say no?

Its the general air of mystery that us females like to issue dear chap. If a fella is that interested, he'll ask... I know from experience (memories la la la - out of tune attempt at humming there... oh, the pain of growing old and wrinkley!) I'm the original agony auntie don't you know...

That's what's frustrating. The guys in this forum seem to be perfectly willing to play by the girl's rules. The girls, however, only want to play by their own rules... keeping that air of mystery and all. I assumed that the point of this forum was so that the sexes can exchange information. I was just trying to give my perpective on how I personally would react to that "air of mystery".

~Irving

We are not worthy Irving!!

Being male, we will never be worthy!!!

We are not meant to understand!!!

We will never understand!!

We face an impossible task!!

Sid........

Sometimes it seems that way... all my best relationships have been with girls who were willing to throw away all the games and just be honest with me...

~Irving

Hey, I'm being completely honest here aren't I? In fact, I'd got as far to say I could get lynched for disclosing "trade" secrets! The Girls' Squad is probably hiring hit men - or ladies right now!

Would you like to join me in a coffee Irving - a sort of last request on my part?

Coffee sounds great. Meet you at the Aroma Café?

~Irving

Okay, let's play it by the 'mens' rules then... what are they? I can't get the hang of the supposed women's rules, and I don't believe in all this 'mystery' rubbish. Give me straight forward honesty that I don't have to look for hidden meanings in any day!

'sus

Well, that adheres to MY rules, anyway! I'm not neccisarily representative of all men, but most of my friends and I seem to want something clear cut from girls. I've had a friend who twice mistakenly thought he was going out with someone who's perception of the situation was that they were just friends. Because neither girl was giving him clear signals, and he didn't ask a straight out question until after he'd told people he was dating these girls (they were months apart, don't worry) he ended up with his heart broken. Another friend has had his heart broken on several occasions by flirts because he has a hard time differentiating between flirtation and true affection. Again, we aren't all guys, but my friends and I are usually just looking for some sort of clue, and when you aren't straightforward, we almost always pick up the wrong signal. Oh, and make the signals something OTHER than physical? The last girl I went out with used the direct aproach of placing her bossoms as near to me as possible at any given moment until I asked her to a dance. It wasn't until we were already going out for a while that I realized I didn't really have any emotional attachment to her, just a physical attachment. I personally make better decisions when I can think with the brain above my shoulders.

Poor Irving! It sounds as though you may have been at the mercy of your hormones... You can always take something called bromide in such situations, you know. (My brother, whilst at college heard via the students union that the college had been spiking the orange squash in the canteen with bromide! I don't know how true this was - it was in the early 70's so anything's possible I suppose.)

Believe me, the right girl will come along one day and it'll all make sense somehow and you'll both feel completely at ease with one another and there'll be no "mystery" or "role playing".

The trouble is, I've had the right fella come along several times or at least I thought I had until I met John.

Have another coffee...please.

Do you take that black? ::fills :: And yes, that's exactly what I was saying... it's sooooo much easier to pick someone who'll at least be a good girlfriend for a time when you're not thinking below the belt. Those hit-ladies aren't coming for you, are they, Gwennie? ::sips:: c(~) mmmmm!

~Irving

Do you take that black? :: fills :: Yes, that's sort of what I was trying to say. It's much easier to pick a someone I'll enjoy spending time with when I'm thinking above the waist rather than below. ::fills his own :: but it's alright now. In fact it's a gas... no not really. But I do think I'm a tad bit more mature than I was then...

Hmmm... this is getting to the crux of the problem... human misunderstanding (deliberate or accidental). A guy I knew (a 'friend') told his folks and friends that I was his girlfriend, which I wasn't, as far as I was concerned. There was no misunderstanding, he knew how I felt, but that didn't stop him telling ev1 else something different. To this day, people still view the relationship differently to how it was.

Supposedly, talking to each other solves problems... but I'm beginning to think it just creates more!

'sus

He's even weirder than my friend! Unless he IS my friend... where do you come from again, sus?

Nodding knowingly, tuts, sips coffee (with soya milk) and sighs!

Biscuit anyone - minus bromide of course?

We must have been typing that simultaneously! And yes, I'll take a biscut!

I've only got "Rich Tea" biscuits - will they do?

Wouldn't know... I'm only an American, after all...

Perhaps bromide should be more readily available! Could solve a lot of problems!

Irving - I am 'across the pond', so I think it unlikely to have been your friend! But just goes to show that it isn't simply the female of the species that causes confusion!

I honestly do try to avoid causing confusion (in that sense at least!), but sometimes I'm so confused myself, that I may put across an impression I don't wish to. In general though, I am generally a lot more blunt than most people would like me to be!

miSUSunderstood

Right... I'm off to bed now to dream of a man who's intelligent, sensitive AND has a sense of humour. (Well, it would have to be in_my_dreams wouldn't it!?!)

'sus