h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What better way to celebrate Doctor Who's 51st Anniversary than by seeing a film in the cinema with a friend, in this case my Catalonian friend Fingal. We saw 'Interstellar', a highly enjoyable film that is about 80% '2001: A Space Odyssey' and 20% dust. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it.

<BB<

Back at work today after 2 weeks' off. Decision time: when people ask me how I am, should I answer:

Option A:
'I think I'm okay, but after I had the operation I didn't see a doctor and the nurse didn't know how the op went, and she simply said I'd get a letter within a week confirming it all went as planned. When I did get a letter a week and a half later it simply said I had an appointment to discuss the op at the hospital on the 23rd December, and then on Saturday I got a second letter saying that that appointment has been cancelled and I'll have the appointment on the 20th January instead, so hopefully I'll finally find out whether it all went as planned then, two and a half months after the actual operation.'

Or

Option B:
'Fine, thanks, you?'

<BB<

Option C: Recovering now, I hope, thanks for asking.

You should surely milk it all you can and ask people to bring you coffee. Groan and wince when you sit down or stand up. Struggle with your coat. Stagger and hold the walls when walking along the corridors.

THEN say "I feel fine - great - no really - thanks"

[Amy P]

My wife's turn to have surgery today - her third hernia operation in 18 months, hopefully they'll actually get it solved this time... Normally I'd be there with her, but as I've just had 2 weeks off I can't really take any more time off at the moment, and so my mother-in-law is coming down to sleep on our lounge floor for a week to help look after her as well as the kids (taking them to and from school while I'm at work etc).
Surgery was due to kick off an hour ago, just waiting to hear it all went well...

<BB<

Hopefully they'll get it right and let her KNOW this time. Health care in this country (usa) sucks but at least they will let you know the results of your super expensive surgery---even if you end up bankrupt or paying it off for years in mini payments. I remember when we were trying to obtain a mortgage for our house---this was a concern.
for your Mrs.

[Amy P]

Good news - my wife is out of hospital and apparently the operation went as it was supposed to - performed by the head surgeon himself. Hopefully it'll be 3rd time lucky.

<BB<

SHould a head surgeon be performing hernia ops?

Perhaps he took a wrong turn?

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This morning they've announced that the new Vice Chancellor has decided on having a major restructure, just so he can be seen to be doing something.

The Vice Chancellor said a speech, the transcript of which is:
'I have already detailed the realignment of the respective changes to responsibilities to provide appropriate authority, responsibility and accountability. This was necessary to ensure that the strategic priorities had clear and unambiguous line management. Further work has now been undertaken to consider other areas of the organisation. This is quite understandable because it would have been established and bedded in prior to the development of a new strategic plan and identification of new areas of work meant that a review of the faculties was both opportune and sensible. To that end I have undertaken an analysis, had many detailed conversations with colleagues at all levels of the organisation and digested the feedback provided from the ‘Conversations’ and ‘themed discussions’ that have been taking place regularly since I started. I also commissioned an internal review of the faculty structures that has informed my thinking.
Our emphasis on learning and teaching, the student experience and the development of research and internationalisation requires responsive units with both the responsibility and authority to bring about the necessary changes in a timely and flexible way. We need to remove any blockages that prevent schools from responding as described and to ensure that they can lead the strategic priorities for the benefit of the whole University.
It is also clear that there are many strengths and areas of good practice within the faculties. I want to ensure that such strengths benefit the whole University and are not restricted where they reside. There are examples where good practice is shared and applied across the piece but in my view this could be more extensive and systematic.
Additionally the new priorities need us to find or liberate additional resource. At the moment the expertise and resource is in the University but often tied up with other responsibilities and commitments. A change of emphasis will allow resources to be freed up and for them to be applied across the university in the identified priority areas.
So what does that mean for all of us? Well, consequently it has been decided to move away from the traditional structure and to move to a structure which will have increased authority and accountability, thus freeing up staff to focus on the development and delivery of the strategic areas, whilst continuing to support appropriately. The new Executive roles will have cross University responsibilities in the key areas of Admissions, Student Experience and Research. In the short term they will also continue to lead and assist in the transition structure. Similarly staff will assist in the transition whilst taking on cross university responsibilities. This realignment will take place in three phases in place for 1 August 2015.
The driving force for the future is academic coherence and the co-location of appropriate academic areas to ensure optimal delivery. We have identified linkages and a critical mass deemed optimal for the future delivery of the strategic plan. This restructure is entirely driven by the need to best align our organisation to enable the delivery of the newly identified strategic priorities. This continues the work already begun of identifying priorities and then organising to ensure appropriate delivery.
Further consultation and discussion will take place in the coming weeks but I wanted to inform you of this development as soon as possible.'

That's basically a load of waffle.

<BB<

It's obfuscatory wafffle. You need to know how to read this stuff. Sometimes it's best to get a marker pen and highlight some key phrases. I found:

"realignment of the respective changes to responsibilities" => management reshuffle

consider other areas of the organisation" => lower level reorganisation

requires responsive units with both the responsibility and authority to bring about the necessary changes in a timely and flexible way" => clearing out some dead wood

Additionally the new priorities need us to find or liberate additional resource" => You're all going to be doing extra work for no extra pay

see also "staff will assist in the transition whilst taking on cross university responsibilities"

the co-location of appropriate academic areas to ensure optimal delivery" => You're all going to lose your comfortable offices and be shunted into an open-plan area with no room to think.

Further consultation and discussion will take place in the coming weeks but I wanted to inform you of this development as soon as possible." => This isn't good, believe me. You might like to start getting your CV prepared and taking a look around.

Deb

I like Icy's translation.

Some other phrases I've come across are:
'working smarter, not harder', which means more work with fewer people;
'developing a flatter organisation', which means the people at the bottom being expected to do everything;
'breaking out of silos' which means working in open plan offices.

I already work in a dingy, 1960s open plan office in a falling down building, does that mean I'll get a brand-new office now?

<BB<

In that case it means that you'll soon be sharing it with lots more people who previously didn't.

I found this quite a worrying announcement overall. It spoke more to me of cost cutting than improving services and opportunities. What do you think?

We've just had a FAQ document sent round. It says:

"Q Why is this being done?
A The Vice Chancellor, VCG and Deans have given consideration to how best to organise
the University’s structure to achieve the strategic priorities.

Q What are the anticipated advantages?
A These changes will enable the University’s structures to be more closely aligned to its
strategic priorities. The changes will take place over the next twelve months and will
coincide with the start of the 2015/16 academic session and the new teaching building
coming on stream at the beginning of 2016.

Q Will there be any compulsory redundancies?
A Importantly, the University does not envisage that there will be a need to declare any
compulsory redundancies. Employees designated ‘at-risk’ will be supported through the
identification and management of redeployment opportunities with any voluntary
redundancies expected to be in single figures.

Q When will the changes come into effect?
A Announcements will be made before the winter break and about the configuration and appointment early in 2015. The new structure will be in place for 1 August 2015.

Q How will staff currently working in the Faculties be affected?
A Staff working at faculty level will support the new Schools and we will also bring together some professional services staff who are currently dispersed in Faculties. Some colleagues will take on cross-university responsibilities in areas which support the new priorities.

Q Will there be any new areas of work that do not exist in the current structure?
A Some new areas of work will be formed bringing together current expertise, for example a new Learning and Development Unit to support the Learning and Teaching priority. New roles will also be developed to work directly on achieving strategic priorities.

Q How much money will this save?
A The process of aligning Solent’s structures to meet its strategic priorities is not about cost-cutting: it is about building on Solent’s considerable achievements in the past ten years as a University and providing an excellent future for everyone who works at and studies here."

I suspect that I'll fall in the 'given more work to do' category. And though there may not be any compulsory redundancies, people on fixed-term contracts might not get their contracts renewed.

But I never knew buildings could 'come on stream' - they must be anticipating flooding...

<BB<

So how many more weeks of no-loo-access-in-studentless-buildings will it mean?