h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmmm... forums are like plants.. without a little nurturing... they wilt and die... ~sad smile~

We could always do something together Oh Spiked One...

Yeah! Why not?

Where shall we go, oh furry one?

~Greebo thinks long and hard~

How about London... me has never been... well when me was a kitten me went.. but me didn't see a lot... being small and all.... do you know it well?

Mmm - not well, but well enough. And there's something familiar about a boy and his cat going to London to seek their fortune, even if the boy happens to be a hedgehog

Awright, it's off to the London we shall go! I'll swing by your house in Cherokee the Wonder Jeep if you tell me where you live first (assuming I'm further north than you here in Edinburgh...)

Well... me actually lives in Lincolnshire... but it might be easier if me...

~Greebo suddenly appears beside Spiny in Cherokee...~

How'd you do that?!

*fights to stay on the road*

Wow, you gave me a turn there, you Cheshire fruitcake!

Never mind, it's great to see you again. You'd get a huggle if I wasn't driving.

*PARP PARP*

...and Cherokee says hello too!

Now then, I've had all the motorways cleared of traffic, so we should be arriving in the London in next to no time. And I've got my red-and-white spotted hanky on the end of a stick with me too, in case anybody asks me to be Lord Mayor. Isn't this fun?

~Greebo grins mishievously at Spiny~ ... Me got my backpack... and me packed some food and a bottle of something to drink... ~grin~

Excellent!

Cherokee loves a good gallop down an empty motorway, don't you, girl?

*Paaarp*

The M6 is almost beautiful with no cars or trucks on it, don't you think, Greebz?

Now then, what do you want to see when we get to the London? There's the Queen of course, and a thing called a Dome or something, or there's art galleries and museums, restaurants and bars...oh, I'd say we're spoilt for choice!

~Greebo's eyes shine with excitement...~... Oh me has always wanted to see everything... ~grin~...

Tis me being greedy???

Everything, eh?

Well, at least we know what you want, even if achieving it might be difficult

I know, we could go up on the London Eye. You'd get to see everything that way. You're not scared of heights are you? Of course not, you're a cat, I'm forgetting. Shall we do that first then?

Ohhhhh yes please... the London Eye sounds intriging... ~grin~

Alright, the London Eye it is!

Maybe we'll be able to see the Dome from it, and if we're quick we'll get to see inside it before they close it for good (no tears there, I think...)

But before we get to it we'll have to negotiate *dramatic minor chords* The Motorway From Hell! Steel yourself, my feline friend, for Maggie's Ditch aka the M25 - a road so evil that the MINIMUM speed is 80mph and no space is allowed between car bumpers. A road where to drive on the inside lane is still to invite being carved up on the left by people who think the hard shoulder is another lane...

*Cherokee shudders at the memory*

Oh my... ~Greebo checks to see if her seat belt is tight enough...~

Me trusts you Oh Spiked one... and me knows that Cherokee will stear us through...

...or we could avoid the M25 altogether and use Cherokee's four-hoof drive to go cross-country. Might involve tearing up some peoples' gardens is the only problem, but the old girl can be quite light of foot when she's a mind, can't you my lovely?

*PAARP*

Whaddya think then, Greebz? Ready for some off-roading?

~Greebo grins brightly~

How exciting... off-roading sounds wonderful... go to it Cherokee...

Oh dear, sorry for the go-slow, there's been a hay crisis and I couldn't get Cherokee topped up

Right then, let's plunge into Epping Forest and see how we get on. Best not lean out the window, Greebz, in case you get your whiskers caught in some branches.

Ffffing Forest... wow... is this where Robin Hood lives???

Hee hee, that's Sherwood Forest, you fruit doughnut!

Still, I like the sound of Effing Forest as well

Oh poot... me wanted to meet Friar Tuck... he's a hero of mine... ~grin~... oh well... onwards to London.. before the Doom closes... ~grin~

*Cherokee negotiates the bumps and hollows of Effing Forest. Despite her light-footedness and the two finely-upholstered saddles, Greebz' and Spiny's backsides sure feel like they've been travelling. At last they emerge into the sunlight of St John's Wood, which is not a wood at all but a district of London, nor is it anywhere near Effing Forest but will suffice for this narrative...*

Ah! I know where we are! We can go and visit my German friends Lutz and Hillu. They'll give us something to keep us going.

*Lutz and Hillu are delighted to see the two weary travellers, especially as they didn't make their customary trip to see Spiny and Moira and the Edinburgh Festival this year. They produce a beautiful vegetarian meal and give them some rocket fuel otherwise known as home-made Black Forest Schnapps to wash it down with. Spiny keeps some back to pour into Cherokee's tank. After many hugs and no surprise at all that Spiny's travelling companion is a cat, the trio are on the road again*

Wel, I hope Cherokee knows the way to the Doom and the London Eye, becaush I probbly shouldn' drive after that schnappsh...

*Spiny turns the starter key. Cherokee, now full of schnapps, takes off like a rocket*

WHOAH THERE GIRL!