h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Medicinal? That's a good one. Oh, alright, I can see your point on that one.

Must be nice. 'Chad, I'm just going to pop on over to France to pick up some French wine. Back in a min...'

There's something we Canadians are unfamiliar with. Driving for half an hour or so and then ending up in a place where everyone speaks a different language. Although there's a fairly good cultural mix here, the prodominant language is still English (excepting Quebec and parts of the Northwest Territories and Nunavut, but I've never been to those places).

I still haven't quite got over the proximity to France. I mean I could travel over the Channel by ferry (from Dover) for UKP1 - yep one whole pound (last year at least, I suspect the prices have gone up since the abolition of duty-free between the UK and France). It would cost me that much to go a couple of miles up the road on a bus, let alone cross the channel to a completely different country. Then the bus from the ferryport to Calais was included in the fare (it just gerts sillier doesn't it). So for virtually no money I could go to France, visit a French supermarket for some wine - a sort of OK bottle in the UK would cost UKP4 - in France UKP1 or something - I'd save money on one bottle!!!

Visit the local market - get some cheap cheese, mushrooms, some lovely garlic, nuts, bread - and get back the same day having saved a fortune and had a day trip to France.

It's a shame I could never get round to doing this very often - I hate ferry-travel (sea-sick) and the tunnel costs a fortune... So I wait for a friend/family-memeber to go over in the car and I go over to the nearest supermarket and buy bog-standard but cheaper wine (total bargains on New World wines as well) , coffee, chocolate, make-up, stationary - god, loads of things are cheaper over there...

I don't think you'd want to make a trip like that very often. That's something you'll want to continue to appreciate. Once it becomes routine, then you're suddenly all jaded ('Oh, I'm sooo tired of yachting to France every week, dahling').

Oh yes, getting the ferry across the English Channel in November is SO similar to yachting to France dahling. It's more like crossing the Atlantic in a bucket - not something you want to do frequently...

However the channel tunnel is a different matter altogether. esp. as you can't get sea sick on a train. And it is considerably quicker than the boats - but also considerably more expensive. When my dad comes down here to cross over the France I try to persuade him to use the tunnel.. and the novelty value of it hasn't worn off yet...

Ah yes, you Brits and your trains. When I visited London a few years ago, the tube and the trains where an integral part of just about everything I did. Out here, trains are more of a novelty, although there are commuter trains for those bedroom-community dwellers who work in Vancouver.

You see, you played the straight person to my stupid comment about yachting. I don't know if you laughed at my comment, but I certainly laughed at your reaction to it.

I always end up playing the straight role - not fair. Well, in the summer season we do pop over in our pleasure craft - it's just in the winter when it all gets a bit choppier, it's safer to travel with the hoi polloi (but only just).

C'mon, Frizz, where's your sense of adventure?

My sense of adventure went on a hill-walking holiday in Snowdonia - I stayed at home as I had a bit of a cold.

It's probably in Winnipeg by now. Or an Argentinian copper mine or something. Perhaps my tendency for derring-do will meet up with your sense of adventure some day.

Alright, it's getting late for me now.

Oh stop whinging, where's your sense of adventure?

It's over on the coffee table, sitting on a little coaster.

Ooh coasters, very civilised...

And this derring-do of yours - what exactly does this entail - what acts of derring-do have been done?

I believe the last act of derring-do I did was back in Antigua, when I and a co-worker fool-hardily climbed down a cliff face over the raging Atlantic Ocean below. We got about halfway down when we were stopped at a point where the drop was sheer, and we were standing on this rock sticking out of the cliff, and it was straight down quite a ways with waves crashing on rocks below. The wind was so strong it almost pinned us to the cliff face; if it changed direction, I'm certain we'd have been swept off the cliff entirely. I, naturally had my panoramic camera with me and had one picture left on it, so I pointed it at the rocks below and took a picture. Still have it. Too bad I don't have a scanner.

Why did I do it? Because my co-worker did it. Men are so stupid sometimes, don't you think?

Do you really want an answer to that question?

Anyway, I thought you were going to bed about an hour ago? i have things to do y'know.. i can't sit here all morning

You know how it is. "Oh, I'll just reply to my outstanding forums and then hit the hay. Oh, looky, a new reply." And so it goes...

Tell me about it...

Actually I was hopng you wold be an obseesive forum replier - it is part of my cunning plan to undermine the weevil infastructure by wekening their leader by making him a bit tired from having had a late night. They will start to disrespect their weak leader and then there'd be mutiny. Your empire will crumble - hahahaha.....

But I am loved by my weevils. They are happy to do the dishes for me while I sleep. Were they to lose their leader, they would fall into disarray and confusion. Actually, they'd probably just keep on doing the dishes and dusting and stuff. My weevil hordes are loyal, but not terribly bright, I'm afraid.

So are you the exceptionally bright weevil in the flock for you to be ablt to hold onto your supremacy?

I still believe that I can undermine your power enough for your hordes (sorry 'hoard' in an archaeological thing) to desert you in favour of the power of the penguin ( a little known but extremely powerful force in local government - particularly fond of supporting the arts and museums with enormous cash grants)

I apologise in advance for any atrocious spelling - it's this silly keyboard - honest)

But I am the weevil-meister. Why would you seek to undermine the loyalty of my weevils? Don't take my weevils, they're all I've got.

So, you think I can be swayed by pitiful grovelling - you are onl,y the weevil meister through you ability to master weevils - if you lose this skill - well, market forces and all....

To play to my sense of fairness (and pity) - well, that was a bit dumb - I am a heartless and power-hungry young woman who chooses her prey carefully and stragically (you will soon learn the meaning (and power) of that word...) it is too late for you - the weevils are revolting - your powers of leadership has been questioned enough for a vote of "no confidence". your days are numbered... you should never have messed with Frizzychick ....