h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thanks - I almost feel the heading was worthy of a Sun Editor but that maybe going a bit far! I'm not a *geek* - this is the one and only site I have joined and it surprises me that so many people do meet up on the internet and it works out. I would have logged on much earlier if I had known although the chances of bumping into Doug would have been pretty slim! Before all this happened I was convinced that everyone on the internet pretended to be someone else and that they has problems relating to real people. Glad I was wrong!

yes, I know, I had all those silly preconceptions too - till I had to sit on a computer with free internet access for weeks working on my thesis and got dragged into this chat...
I used it predominantly to stay in touch with some friends in the USA and Australia, and started talking to other people in there while waiting for my friends to log in (stupid time zone differences...). Since then I found a few really good friends there - apart from my boyfriend - and never met anyone in real live who wasn't the person I thought she/he would be
Although they start complaining because I spend so much time here... ooops...

Not forgetting the vodka?

The ring can now be seen on my home page along with one of the piccies from Florence!

It doesn't just have to be romance, relationships either. I have become good friends with people of both sexes met through the net.

Most of these people live in other cities, countries, and with a few I have stayed with them while on holiday. They do the same if visiting where I live.

If doesn't matter where you first meet people, the important thing is meeting people. From there "que sera sera" spelled badly.

Internet meetings? They are really no different than "real life" meetings. If you meet someone on the street, or at a social gathering, it's no different. You still don't really know that person until you spend some "real time" with them.

I met Monsy while buying coffee on the way to work one morning.....she was the cashier, and I was the "early rising" construction worker. No.... it wasn't love at first sight, but after a period of time that's where it went. Seven years later, that chance meeting has proven to be the best thing that ever happened to me!

It doesn't matter how you meet. It's what you do after that which counts.

Congratulations......And may your lives be filled with the mundane!

NM

I guess lotsa people are looking for "The Secret" to finding "The One". It's not like that at all. In fact, there's some truth in the old adage that the harder you run after it, the faster it runs away from you. If there IS a secret, it's basically, don't think there is a secret. Be yourself, meet lots of people, keep an open mind, and something'll come out of the left field one day to surprise you. THEN be smart enough to recognise it when it happens and remember that fireworks arre great fun, but they're soon over. A bonfire needs tending but it'll last a lot longer than fireworks when you work at it.

Here endeth the lesson.

We need to get ourselves a cynic in on this discussion to stop us all agreeing with each other. Where is smiley ben? He normally disagrees with everyone for the sake of it!

Er...so do I usually, don't know where all that gushy stuff came from. But I'm not being cynical with the bonfire stuff. There's times you do have to work at a relationship but it's meant 12 years for us where friends are on their second and third partners. But you can't beat those heady first months when the flames are roaring skywards, so go for it, girl!

OK - if you want a cynic - here I am.
Love does not exist. Relationships are bunk. Man is basically a solitary animal, and inherent selfishness means that regardless of words spoken to the contrary, you will always follow your primal instinct to look after yourself and defend your own wants and needs above and beyond anyone else. If you can find a partner that has the same wants and needs as yourself, then enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Spiny has a point - it doesn't matter a fig how you meet.
To make any relationship a success involves a lot of work and long term commitment from both sides. If either one has their own agenda, then things will start to fall apart. Sharing common interests, whether it's the pub; the cinema; the internet or Bolivian mushroom farming is not enough.

Is there such a thing as a match made in heaven? I doubt it.
Most relationships have their ups and downs, and ultimately it is up to one or both partners to give in and sacrifice their own wants and needs to satisfy the desires of the other.

Do opposites attract? Possibly, but it takes a lot more commitment to overcome such differences to ensure the longevity of consanguinity.

Is there such a thing as "Love at first sight"?
No. Well not in my book. No more than there is such a thing as "Love at first *site*"
To find out if you are prepared to put yourself through the pain and exhilaration of the rollercoaster ride through life in alliance with another, you must get to know them first. True first impressions count, but how you feel about another person is so wholly subjective it is impossible to suggest that your view of the world means anything to anyone except you.

Yep, matches are made on earth all right. See, I'm Scorpio and Moira's Saggitarius. That's supposed to be really shit in Western astrology. But according to the Chinese, a Wooden Horse (me) and an Earth Dog (Moira) is one of the best combinations there is. So we just get on with it, really, and never bother about whether we were "meant for each other".

I agree with some of what you said but not "Love does not exist" - Of course it does. It is an emotion and all emotions are felt and exist. True I may have a different view of Love to most peple but that is when you tend to know you have met your match - when you can agree on what love means to both of you! Man is anything but a solitary animal as most people require some kind of social interaction to stay mentally sane and we constantly subjugate our own needs for the wants of others. If we didn't we would just kill each other until top dog was left!

Lust at first sight. Love takes longer. Over time love evolves into habit, people become set and (mostly) content in their ways.

In my opinion, if a couple are not planning on having children, marriage is a waste of everyone's time and energy, with the honourable exception of the wedding boose-up.

Been there done that. My love story turned into a comical farce. The divorce party was wonderful though.

Well, speaking as someone who is now engaged to a lovely woman that I met on the internet 2 1/2 years ago, I figure I can contribute to this discussion. I met my fiancee in a chat room about a month or so after I got my computer and hooked up to the 'net. I never ever in my wildest dreams intended to develop an actual relationship. But one boring Saturday afternoon there was just me and this loveley woman named Tejana in the chat room with me. We spent the whole afternoon talking about everything under the sun. I'd chatted with lots of people over that first month, but for some reason I was drawn to her. I actually found myself during the course of the week peeking in there hoping that she would be there. The following Saturday she was there and we picked up where we left off. I was really falling for her and it was so weird. We spent many many nights talking till dawn, knowing full well we both had classes in the morning. After a month or so of exchanging emails every day and chatting pretty much as often, she wanted to ee me. Lucky for me she only lived a few hundred miles away and I could catch a train there for little cost. The only major obstacle was that she was American and I was Canadian. Well, we met and I instantly fell in love when we finally met face to face. I will agree that spending all that time online allowed us to really talk to eachother and learn about eachother. when I finally met her I felt that I had known her for years, and had just been out of town for awhile. I made numerous trips to visit over next two years, and we grew closer and closer. I even did my one month internship in her town. It gave us a real chance to live together for a longer period of time and we found out that we cCOULD spend a long time together and not want to kill eachother....that's when I knew 100% that I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. This past February I proposed to her. We'd discussed it many times but that was when I finally took the leap. In the months we chatted before we met I got to know her better than all the friends I'd ever made. She is my best friend, lover, someday wife. Though the circumstances through which we met are to most unconventional I would never trade it for the world.

I am excited to find a forum on this subject! I just joined h2g2,
so I'm still getting a look-see. You might have already guessed that
I met my boyfriend online. Most of the time I don't tell people that, though, because of what someone in this forum said. There's that weirdness and "geek" aura to the internet. I can only repeat what
others have already have said. We met in a chat room and we knew
each other better than I had ever known any previous guys I'd gone out with.
(He tells me on ICQ he's replying to his forum too so look for Misanthropic Misnomer )

When we finally met in person, he was about the same as the impression I
had gotten of him online. I am disappointed by the number of people who think that meeting anyone online, whether for romance or friendship, is dangerous and awful. As in any other way of meeting, I think caution
is important but not really any differently than by any other method. When I let
other friends know that he and I were engaged, I had a friend send me this URL:
http://www.wildxangel.com/
I wasn't sure whether to be offended or not. You should visit that site. There are
some seriously messed up people at that site. I'm glad no such thing happened
to me. Basically it gives online-meeting a bad name. I had to enter my 'Happy Ending'
story there to combat the bad vibes and and for those of you who have happy
endings too, please please write in and let them know that there are some
lucky people like us! The long distance is hard most of the time, but I think
in the long run it will all be worth it!

How long distance is your relationship? To be honest we were lucky we were in the same country and only 120 miles apart. Still makes it difficult only having a weekend relationship though!

For me that would be 800km - about 500 miles I guess *sigh*
but it works out - most of the time

Our distance is about 400 or more. Bit of a pain really. We see eachother every few months when schedules permit. The distance grew a bit when I moved to Toronto a few months ago. Now it takes me almost 10hours to make the trip and costs bout $40 more, but it's still worth it to see my sweetie.

We are definitely lucky then! We get to see each other every weekend without fail. One of the advantages of living in a small country!

*sticks head round door* 120 miles? Lightweights! *chuckles, leaves*