h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I decided to steal your name and added it to the other stolen names at the bottom of my PS. There is absolutely nothing you can do about this, calling for assistance is futile, possesion is 11 & 3/4's of the thingy!
It shouldn't be too painful an ordeal, although I can't make any promises, I'm probably also lying!

Ah ha! That's what you think! I've now stolen *your* name! And stashed it in a very private place, oh yes. How do you like them apples?

Or would you prefer some ?

Hmmm - not as exciting when it's just offered up, is it. Tell you what, I'll hide it in this cupboard. Then you can steal it later.

How very dare you! You cad!

I'll pass on the , just doesn't taste the same if not stolen, and no point hiding it somewhere and telling me, s'not the same either. Also has calorific value if unstolen, whereas stolen does not. It's all very scientific and you probably wouldn't understand as your a boy.

Right - I haven't hidden any . Not in that cupboard, or anywhere else. Indeed, there isn't any in here. Especially not in the aforementioned cupboard.

According to Rittenbacker's famous Boymaths Formula *sniffs, readjusts glasses*, stolen counts double

Possibly triple. Others disagree of course *attempts to wipe choc stains off glasses* Up to you

Ha! The old Rittenbacker quote ploy eh? *derisive*

No use my newly aquired stolen friend, for Dr Phenella Phlegmnasty says in her much respected and award winning tome 'Men or chocolate: Where's the choice?', that it was a spurious lie put about by Rittenbacker, in order to deter girlies from eating chocolate so boys could keep it all to themselves! Dr Phlegmnasty's findings were upheld by the FDA, FBI, & MFI and Rittenbacker was disgraced, dimissed and exiled to work in every chocolate lovers worst nightmare...The Kinder egg factory!

Ah. That would explain the tiny handwritten note I found wrapped around my Kinder surprise (a beautifully crafted finest plastic miniature replica of Shrek piloting a lurid green biplane with the word 'Yum!' inscribed on either wing) only this morning.

*Ahem* 'It's a stitch up! PP a fraud! Eat the ch' ... At that point the paper runs out. Alas.

Justice for Rittenbacker! for boys!

Just what do you think you're playing at?!! Starting a perfectly sensible, articulate and thought provoking thread in Ask, with absolutely no gibberish involved?
Honestly! Bloody turncoat!

Ah no, that's my alter ego, he keeps nipping in and hijacking the keyboard. Oy! Gerroff! No y

High borrowing rates are sending the economy into a spiral of debt, what do hootooers think ab

ve that back you b

t it wouldn't be a bad idea of if the school-leaving age

off out of it I want to talk about flants and th

ew legislation to enforce the teac

*thud*

Yes! Got him. We'll be having no trouble from him for a while

Aaah, inner turmoil, intellect over insanity, fiscal fluctuation over flants, it's been this way through the ages.

I'm starting a sweepstake over how long before the thread offers up postings from the more 'fervent' Hootooers and how many posts get yikes'd. Care to have a flutter?

An sweepstake? *Looks disapproving*

(Tenner on five yikeses)

Actually, I'm starting to think I should have posted it on The Forum, if I wanted any actual, you know, responses and stuff.

When they revamped Ask and Misc Chat, it was supposed to make the former a little more focussed again. But I'm not entirely convinced it worked

I don't know, I think there's a fair balance of interesting, intelligent and utter nonsense in both The Forum and Ask.
I shouldn't worry about getting a response, there'll be plenty by this time tomorrow. Post in haste, repent at wotsit and all that.

I tend to steer clear of such threads, I'm no match for most of the brains or braun in here

Imaginary travel, talking pigeons and streams of nonsenseness is where I'm at.

I've been taking a backseat for a while myself. I used to get so *involved* - look up from the keyboard and the whole day would have gone past in a flash.

>>I'm no match for most of the brains or braun in here<<

Hiding your light under a bushel, I'll be bound!

(I love that smiley )

Hmmm, must admit, I've been spending far too long on here than is healthy of late...unemployment does that to a person I guess.
More often than not, I read something that interests or incenses me, type out a big long rant, then chicken out and delete it. I also have an uncanny knack of itis. So tend to just watch the show.

smiley is probably the cutest one, although I'm also rather fond of

I've always liked And I used for the first time in ages yesterday - always nice when you remember an old favourite.

I'm starting to think I should ration myself a bit. There's a big stack of things that need doing that aren't getting done because of all the hootooing.

>>type out a big long rant, then chicken out and delete it<<

Oo yes - and then you want to go back to the thread and scream 'You lot should have seen what I was going to post and ended up deleting! Would have blown your minds!' And then flouncing out before the giggling starts.

I tend to settle for sitting behind the safety of my monitor making smug, sarky, derisive comments, swearing, poking the usernames, or flicking elastic bands at the screen. That'll show 'em thinks I!

I definitely have to wean myself away from the computer, time's just slipping away and nothing is being achieved, show me a form of escapism and I'll throw myself headlong into it! I'm rubbish like that.

*opens another window* oooh, yet another personality test thingy *click clickety click click*

But if you wean yourself off the computer ... who's going to act as a go-between when I want to get messages to Gerald?

Personality Test
----------------

1. You are walking down the street and you spy a flant. Do you

a) Hand it in at the nearest police station?
b) Look for a nametag and attempt to contact its flantmily?
c) Take it home and make it perform novelty songs and dance routines for your own twisted amusement?

Oooh, I'd pick C) obviously.

What kind of person does that make me Some of the other tests I've recently taken have described me as... not rule conscious, rebellious, rash, weird, ambivalent about chaos, likes bizarre things, anti-authority, not good at saving money, perfectionist, leaves many things unfinished, low self control, strange, desires more attention, romantic daydreamer, abstract, practical, leisurely, likes the unknown...all damn lies obviously! Although I'm thinking of including them on my C.V.

Ambivalent about chaos?

*world explodes*

*shrug*

C, C, let me just look that up ... 'Low levels of respect for intrinsic flant dignity'. Well, there's worse things in the world. Unless you're a flant, obviously.

C.V.? Just give them a link to your PS on here

I was rather intrigued to find myself as a perfectionist that leaves things unfinished.

>>C.V.? Just give them a link to your PS on here<<

Well, if there ever were any prospective employers lurking in the shadows of Hootoo, I think I may have already sealed my fate.

What do you do? Job wise that is...or if you told me would you have to kill me?

I'm an English lecturer. Well, actually, I think of myself as British because of my Scottish ... what I mean is that I teach English. Occasionally. And then spend the rest of the week preparing to do it. Except when hootoo gobbles up all my time instead. Like now. Oh poo.

*Groan* I was going to get all my stuff ready for tomorrow tonight. I'm going to have to get up really early now