h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh well yes, I suppose that's true. But its hard for someone who always wants to have all the answers.

Well ask me a question. You'll have one more.

I don't know. I think I have too many to be able to think of one.

I have strange spots on my arm. Do you suppose I was bitten by a spider?

Well the way I see it, if a spider's venom was strong enough to leave spots on your arm, you'd be dead by now.

What do the spots look like?

They're gone now. But they were just little red spots that looked like little pricks in my skin or something. I think it could have been a spider, spider bites do show up even if they're not deadly. Like mosquitoes or something I guess.

No, it's not a spider. I think I get those too, only I always pick them off.

So.... Where've you been?

It could be a spider... How do you know it isn't?

I havent been anywhere. Its just that I've got two essays due next week and they're both a lot of work and I'm having trouble finding information for one of them. Its most vexing. If you have a moment and you can find anything acceptable for a scholarly paper on Sidney Paget or the history of The Strand Magazine I would be very grateful. But only if you have nothing better to do

~*~It could be a spider... How do you know it isn't?~*~

Just an educated guess.

~*~I havent been anywhere. Its just that I've got two essays due next week and they're both a lot of work and I'm having trouble finding information for one of them. Its most vexing. If you have a moment and you can find anything acceptable for a scholarly paper on Sidney Paget or the history of The Strand Magazine I would be very grateful. But only if you have nothing better to do.~*~

Well since every single one of my classes had a test this week, I don't have any homework of my own, so I /don't/ have anything better to do really.

That's very lucky for you. And bad at the same time. How did you study for everything?

1/2 hour cramming before each test, pretty much. Except the test in Acting, which I didn't know I had. And unfortunately I forgot to get a scantron and a pencil for my History test, and had to run to the bookstore before I took it. Got 94% though.

You have to get your own scantron?

Half an hour cramming sounds dangerous.

I have two midterms next week and two essays due. My weekend is going to be quite awful, again.

On the bright side I'm watching Mission Impossible.

~*~You have to get your own scantron?~*~

Yep. Almost doesn't make sense, but the way I figure it, each scantron costs 5 or 10 cents, but for 30 students a class, so it's like economy of manpower to keep the teacher/school from having to pay $20.

~*~Half an hour cramming sounds dangerous.~*~

You're telling me. I only got 44 on my Spanish test.

On the bright side, I got 94 on my History test.

~*~I have two midterms next week and two essays due. My weekend is going to be quite awful, again.~*~



~*~On the bright side I'm watching Mission Impossible.~*~

What exactly happens in that movie? I've never seen it.

"Yep. Almost doesn't make sense, but the way I figure it, each scantron costs 5 or 10 cents, but for 30 students a class, so it's like economy of manpower to keep the teacher/school from having to pay $20."
That's crazy. We get ours free. Plus they'll lend you a pencil if you've forgotten one.

~*~Half an hour cramming sounds dangerous.~*~
"You're telling me. I only got 44 on my Spanish test. "
Percent?

"On the bright side, I got 94 on my History test."
Well done

~*~I have two midterms next week and two essays due. My weekend is going to be quite awful, again.~*~
I'm right, its quite awful. Cross your fingers that I'll get enough done that I don't have to skip more than one day next week.

~*~On the bright side I'm watching Mission Impossible.~*~
"What exactly happens in that movie? I've never seen it."
I wasn't watching the movies, I was watching the TV show. They're similar but different. I much prefer the TV show. The movies are basically about Tom Cruise going around and killing people and surviving unlikely situations. Near as I can remember anyway.

"Yep. Almost doesn't make sense, but the way I figure it, each scantron costs 5 or 10 cents, but for 30 students a class, so it's like economy of manpower to keep the teacher/school from having to pay $20."
~*~That's crazy. We get ours free. Plus they'll lend you a pencil if you've forgotten one.~*~

Lucky.

~*~Half an hour cramming sounds dangerous.~*~
"You're telling me. I only got 44 on my Spanish test. "
~*~Percent?~*~

Yep.

~*~I have two midterms next week and two essays due. My weekend is going to be quite awful, again.~*~
~*~I'm right, its quite awful. Cross your fingers that I'll get enough done that I don't have to skip more than one day next week.~*~

*Crosses fingers and toes.*

~*~On the bright side I'm watching Mission Impossible.~*~
"What exactly happens in that movie? I've never seen it."
~*~I wasn't watching the movies, I was watching the TV show. They're similar but different. I much prefer the TV show.~*~

There's a TV show? I didn't know that. Was it made before or after the movie?

~*~That's crazy. We get ours free. Plus they'll lend you a pencil if you've forgotten one.~*~
"Lucky."
I know. I hate them though. I had to do one today. The circles are too small. Its hard to do properly when your hand is shaking.

~*~Half an hour cramming sounds dangerous.~*~
"You're telling me. I only got 44 on my Spanish test. "
~*~Percent?~*~
"Yep."
Aww. Poor you. Do you get to re-write?

~*~I'm right, its quite awful. Cross your fingers that I'll get enough done that I don't have to skip more than one day next week.~*~
"*Crosses fingers and toes.*"
I didn't! Hooray! Even better I got to go to a fabulous lecture with my favourite professor. He's so wonderful.

~*~I wasn't watching the movies, I was watching the TV show. They're similar but different. I much prefer the TV show.~*~
"There's a TV show? I didn't know that. Was it made before or after the movie?"
It was way before. I think this one is some time in the 60's.

We have an annoying house guest. I'm trapped in my room so I don't have to see him anymore. He annoys me. He basically implied that I would be homeless because English is useless.
If I'm homeless can I come live with you?

~*~It's hard to do properly when your hand is shaking.~*~

Why would your hand be shaking?

~*~Half an hour cramming sounds dangerous.~*~
"You're telling me. I only got 44 on my Spanish test. "
~*~Aww. Poor you. Do you get to re-write?~*~

Nope. Just have to do better next time.

~*~We have an annoying house guest. I'm trapped in my room so I don't have to see him anymore. He annoys me. He basically implied that I would be homeless because English is useless.~*~

But then how would we communicate?

Tell me, is this an irritable, grouchy man?

~*~If I'm homeless can I come live with you? ~*~

In a heartbeat.

~*~It's hard to do properly when your hand is shaking.~*~
"Why would your hand be shaking?"
I was so nervous. I have this terrible desire for my History Professor to think that I'm smart. But more than that I don't want to let him down, I feel like he deserves nothing less than a student with perfect marks.

~*~Aww. Poor you. Do you get to re-write?~*~
"Nope. Just have to do better next time."
Yes we dont get to do rewrites either.

~*~We have an annoying house guest. I'm trapped in my room so I don't have to see him anymore. He annoys me. He basically implied that I would be homeless because English is useless.~*~
"But then how would we communicate?"
Well I suppose the assumption is that we all communicate well enough and that literature is a waste of time.

"Tell me, is this an irritable, grouchy man?"
No, he's just loud and oppinionated. And never lets me get a word in.

~*~If I'm homeless can I come live with you? ~*~
"In a heartbeat."
You know of course that you're a darling and an infinitely precious person?

~*~It's hard to do properly when your hand is shaking.~*~
"Why would your hand be shaking?"
~*~I was so nervous. I have this terrible desire for my History Professor to think that I'm smart. But more than that I don't want to let him down, I feel like he deserves nothing less than a student with perfect marks.~*~

Well then you should relax. Everything's harder when you're terrified.

~*~We have an annoying house guest. I'm trapped in my room so I don't have to see him anymore. He annoys me. He basically implied that I would be homeless because English is useless.~*~
"But then how would we communicate?"
~*~Well I suppose the assumption is that we all communicate well enough and that literature is a waste of time.~*~

Yeah........ I meant how would we communicate without a language, but that's good too......

~*~If I'm homeless can I come live with you?~*~
"In a heartbeat."
~*~You know of course that you're a darling and an infinitely precious person?~*~

Oh, of course!

Don't often hear it said though.

~*~I was so nervous. I have this terrible desire for my History Professor to think that I'm smart. But more than that I don't want to let him down, I feel like he deserves nothing less than a student with perfect marks.~*~
"Well then you should relax. Everything's harder when you're terrified."
That is extremely true! I know it too... but despite telling it to myself repeatedly I coudln't seem to manage it. After the first page of the test though I was quite calm.

~*~You know of course that you're a darling and an infinitely precious person?~*~
"Oh, of course!"
Oh good

"Don't often hear it said though."
Awww. Poor you.