Journal Entries
14 hours' sleep have worked wonders
Posted Sep 7, 2008
Last week my anxiety and sleeplessness increased to stupid levels 
Not being paid by Qld Govt for work completed seven weeks ago; unpaid bills mounting up; too much packing; too much tidying; too much cleaning; too much socialising (seriously).
Far more people than I expected want to see me before I go 
It's lovely that they want to wish me bon voyage, but it's eaten into my organising time badly 
On Friday it all got on top of me and I ended up a twittering mess. Fortunately I was able to be a mess at a friend, who immediately sussed the core issue and has lent me some money to pay the bills 
Then she sent round the 'heavies' for a couple of hours yesterday to help me with a few things that felt beyond me.
And last night I went to bed at 10pm. Today I woke up at 12.15pm 
Although I feel slightly disoriented and jetlagged now 
I also feel euphoric that I slept so long and so hard. And everything seems to be back in perspective... so much so that I'm taking a day off from packing, because I realise I'm ahead of myself 
The sun is shining, I've just had breakfast (at 2.30pm 
) and some friends are coming round with bubbly in an hour 
I am close to deciding that I will never do a big move again; it's too 
hard.
Fb
Discuss this Journal entry [23]
Latest reply: Sep 7, 2008
Seredipitous accommodation
Posted Aug 26, 2008
I heard yesterday that I have got a flat in Christchurch for the first 3 months 
It is a one-bedroom place in a beautifully-redeveloped old college building and is fully-furnished 
Fully furnished in this instance includes top-of-the-range everything, including doona, pillows, yogurt maker and baking tins. It's going to be a bit like living in a swanky hotel for 12 weeks - except without the room service, sadly
The flat came about as a result of a chance conversation between my brother in England and an Australian colleague over dinner about four weeks ago. He mentioned his little sister was preferred candidate for a job in NZ. She mentioned that her husband is a Kiwi. The conversation developed... and I've ended up renting his flat in central Chchch while he takes it off the market for a while until the market is a bit more bouyant.
I think this is what they call a win-win situation.
However....
As you know I've started the packing 
. Then I had a phone call from one of the removalists who will be providing a quote - who told me to *stop packing immediately* because they will do it all 
If somebody had told me two weeks ago that they would do all the packing I'd have welcomed it gleefully, but now that I've started I want to do it all myself. This is for two reasons: one - I'm having a clear-out at the same time, so that I don't unpack carefully-wrapped 2nd hand plastic yoghurt containers at the other end (it happens); two - I want to clean rooms as I empty them. The latter is actually the more crucial factor, because I've timed my entire move anticipating the the two days after the uplift will be plenty to clean what's left. If I can't pack at all, I can't empty rooms and I therefore can't clean them and two days won't be enough time to do the entire house 
Added to my frustration is the other removal company, who are quite happy to let me do the packing 
If it were my choice I'd give them the nod straightaway, then I could get on with filling boxes. But it's not my decision. The quotes go to Chchch Council, who then pick one and give the go ahead: a process that could take up to a week A week in which I can't do any packing because the *other* firm may be chosen to do the move.
I am going to use all my feminine charm and common-sense to persuade the recalcitrant removalists that it is far more sensible for me to pack myself
I'm now going to take my telescope to pieces and re-pack it, before the removal man arrives to survey the move... 
Discuss this Journal entry [66]
Latest reply: Aug 26, 2008
Can I get off the world for the weekend please?
Posted Aug 22, 2008
This week so far: Friend not allowed to die, although he wants to
Sister-in-law rushed into ICU with suspected stroke Mother in sudden acute agony because of further spine-crumbling leading to sciatica: morphine being talked about and daily carer being organised State Govt arguing about $7.5k that they owe me for work completed
Landlady not returning calls about breaking my tenancy New employer not returning calls about discrepancies in the contract
Unknown cousin arrives for two nights' visit Car finance company adding $4k to repayment because of non-completion of finance agreement Friend offers me a week's accommodation for free - and the use of her car - just before I leave Australia Friend wants to buy all sorts of stuff that I want to get rid of Unknown cousin turns out to be companionable and supportive in Times of Need
Have been offered a flat in Christchurch for first three months
Contract negotiations concluded Landlady phoned with reassuring words about tenancy
Sister-in-law out of ICU and after barrage of tests is now home: sleeping and recovering 
Wonderful brother off to see Mum to help her sort out practicalities of being in pain and even more disabled than previously
Can I have a rest please? 
Discuss this Journal entry [27]
Latest reply: Aug 22, 2008
Climbing a mountain, pushing a rock
Posted Aug 19, 2008
The magnitude of my imminent move is beginning to hit me. The euphoria has died down and the complex and numerous technicalities are uppermost in my mind.
So having had a couple of weeks of good sleeps, I'm back to lying awake at 2 o'clock in the morning with my brain whirring 
There is a huge amount of stuff that I still can't start, because HR at Christchurch Council are contradicting themselves about my relocation expenses and conditions of employment Until that's nailed down I can't sign the contract - and won't hand in my notice on the house, or put the black beast up for sale.
Once the HR people have sorted out their story and things start moving it's going to be mad rush to get everything done in time for a start date of 22nd September
So if I'm not around much, you'll know that things are frantic. Alternatively I may be here every day, letting off steam as I climb this mountain...
Fb
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Aug 19, 2008
When life isn't worth the struggle
Posted Aug 15, 2008
The relief and joy I'm feeling about my new job is dented today.
You may recall a dear friend of mine in Scotland had a brain tumour last year, which was located in his brain-stem. Whilst the op removed it all, it left him with paralysis of his throat - no swallowing and very little speech left.
He was a man with a great love of food, wine and companionable story-telling, laughter and great enthusiasm for life in all its glory.
Since the op he has been unable to eat and is fed via a tube directly into his stomach. He has a trachyotomy and a constant suction pump to prevent saliva filling his lungs. He's been in and out of ICU with pneumonia and other complications. There is no chance that the paralysis will be reversed, so the rest of his life is one without food, drink, story-telling and laughter.
Yesterday - just over a year after the operation - he tried to kill himself with an overdose.
I knew he has wanted to do this for several months. His wife must have realised, but he hadn't told her outright: her religious belief means that she considers suicide to be a sin that cannot be contemplated.
I am devastated that it didn't work. My view is that it is his life - and at this stage in it, he should have the right of choice. Were he a dog or a horse, he would have been humanely killed. For some mad reason we show less humanity to fellow human beings
I'm quite sure that some of you reading this will hold quite different points of view.
For now, I grieve for my dear friend who cannot live the life he desires and cannot end it at the time he choses.
Fb
Discuss this Journal entry [36]
Latest reply: Aug 15, 2008
frenchbean
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