h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I agree Elentari, but I am thinking perhaps afterwards, and only to promote understanding in those that don't, not those that won't.

Websailor

I totally agree with you on this one, Frenhcbean. A lot of people will say that you can't know what you'll do until the time comes. I've always held these views, but wasn't totally sure until the time did come.

My Nan died last October. On her last night most of the family was there with her. She was in so much pain. I'd never heard such inhuman howls of pain from a human being before. The morphine was wearing off, and the nurses had mixed up the doctors orders and held off on giving her more. (That was sorted out eventually). She was conscious a few times. I think she willed herself that way when anyone wanted to leave. She couldn't talk but she made it known that she wanted everyone to stay.
The next morning, my sister (who was her primary care giver at that point) and myself were in the room. Nan was sleeping peacefully. The doctor gave us the option of a procedure that would prolong her life a little bit longer (days at best). She wouldn't get better though, and would still die. We looked at each other and didn't really have to even think about it. We told the doctor no, thank you. Nan died peacefully an hour or two later, before we had a chance to put the decision into practice.
We still miss her dreadfully, but we couldn't put her through any more pain. Not like that, it would have been just plain wrong.

Good decision Taralome. Sad, but good.

Fb

my mam was given a similar option for my dad, she said let him go with dignity, so extra morphine was used, to allow his organs to shut off peacefully
he was a fighter though, the day before, the doctor asked how he was - his reply was "I'm just a little off colour"

I came across this thread trawling the threads, and couldn't let it go by without saying that I agree with most of what has been said here -

that when there's no quality of life left, and just the option of quantity with no hope of relief or improvement, a person has the right to make their own decision and leave the party early.

Like the Prof, I've little financially going for me. But as he's said "it's better than nowt" How true!

And the condition I have is degenerative, medically speaking (at this time) I know for a fact I would take the decision, your friend attempted, and I have the means (I'm prescribed morphine) to do so for myself. I've spoken to my close friends and familly about this and to a man they've all accepted and respected my wish should I ever find that I have no acceptable quality of life.

It probably won't ever come to that, but it's something, I feel, that needed to be discussed and taken into account.

My thoughts go out to your friend French bean.

And also to you.

as a true friend to someone,you can always stand tall and proudby your loyalty
F1926355?thread=3556994

My husband was in a similar situation to you Evadne. He was eventually given some dignity in death and if death can be good, his was. Having experienced it before, I do feel very strongly about the situation in which my friend finds himself and I simply do not understand his wife's position, which seems to be to deny him libery of choice. He is now in a psych ward, on 15 minute suicide watch

I am hugely reassured by the shared views in this thread. Thank you all

Fb

FB, dear lady, as a friend although we have not met, I have a shoulder any time it is needed love

not always daft

Thanks, Prof

NO thanks needed from a friend

Fb,
I am so sorry to hear that. I can only hope he doesn't know where he is. It seems to me to be such an insult to his intelligence.

Websailor

It's an insult to any person, effectively to say 'Your life is important, but your ideas, views, feelings and opinions are not, and you're no longer entitled to any sort of self-determination'.



I'm struggling to see the logic in your friend's situation, Fb, I really am. He's being put through a living hell to ease someone else's conscience - I just don't get it.

I'd better stop now, before I get all ranty. You aleady know I'm on the same side of the fence as you...

We can all have a rant together.

I was explaining the situation to my sister-in-law last night and found myself in floods of tears: sorrow, frustration, incomprehension, anger, impotence. There is absolutely nothing I can do for him. And if I'm feeling useless, god only knows how helpless he's feeling.

If he does get out of this situation alive, I don't know how he will ever be able to trust or forgive those who put him through it.

Hopefully, Frenchbean, if your friend is on psych ward, etc (tho god alone knows *why, since he's certainly not deranged) he isn't feeling *anything at the moment; he's probably full of sedatives and if only for a while, he'll be on a pink "happy" cloud.

A brief holiday from reality as it were. I don;t know if that will be any comfort to you for the time being.

And yes, we could get all ranty together (Ivan summed up my sentiments exactly in his first sentence) but I know if I let rip I'd fill an A4 page here and it still wouldn't express how deeply I feel about his sort of situation - so I won't.

It wouldn't help him one jot or iota.

It's an awful shame his wife is so blinkered in her way of thought. Perhaps if she only realised how he felt, without taking it as a personal slur on her abilities....

She probably means well. But boy, IMO that lady is being very selfish; and being encouraged to be for all the wrong reasons

I said I wouldn't get ranty.

sorry; excuse the slip. It's late, I'm on the ..and it's been an introspective sort of a day for me just generally.

I agree, Evadne. I too would fill pages and pages and not be able to properly demonstrate the strength of my feelings on this issue.

His wife not only has strong religious beliefs, but is also a physiotherapist and something else (very high up in the NHS). I guess the combination of god and the hypocratic oath are guiding her. Perhaps I am being unfair on her - maybe she is going through some kind of her own hell of indecision, but if she is, she's not showing it.

is a good antidote for those of us lucky enough to be able to enjoy it.

Fb

Don't get me started on the hypocratic oath business - I had to take something similar in the good ol' days when I was an alternative therapist, and I *know* for a fact there's a nice loophole that you can use in all good conscience for the best for one's patient.

Not that I ever was in that position, but....

And as for "religion" - again - don't get me started or we'll be here all night! The one thing any god requires of any of his/her followers is to love one's fellow man as one would love oneself as I understand it.

Perhaps the officially religious haven't taken that on board.

I dunno.

You're right about the wine tho - it's a great antidote.

So cheers. And relax. Sometimes these things just resolve themselves quietly and painlessly just by themselves.