h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I appear to have run out of ramble

Could I interest you in a puppy instead?

http://s119.photobucket.com/albums/o123/malevolentlalala_photos/Aaaawwwwsss/?action=view&current=hey2.png

No ramble? You not feeling right?

N'awww! Too much cuddley squidyness.

Have an M&M

http://static.flickr.com/108/274202468_47739f92f3.jpg

I might have to go to flumpleton.

Night night.

I think I might have to flump too

N'Night

Had the most wonderful dream In my dream I was floating on a banoffee boat and no matter how much nibbling went on, the boat never got smaller or sank

Woke up and everything was covered in pie. Including elephunt nightlight. So much lickying ensued

In fact, the only corner of the bedroom that was completely free of banoffee was the area round the traps, where hungry Jangley lay, exhausted by her efforts to free herself

Good night all round then - yay and thankyou

Oh hark at Adrian Mole

Awww. What a dreamy dream.

Hnnnggff!

Can't withhold pie any longer.

*nudges pie over to trapped Jangley*

http://www.nestle.ie/NR/rdonlyres/03483277-DFFB-40A3-8AC9-DD25BB2F4017/0/top_prod_milksandcream.jpg

I'm cross. *points* They've taken off all (two) the good programmes for another music event thingie.

Stupid earth.



*nips tree*



Hmmmph.

Ack!

And now Alan bleedin' Carr's on it.



*slaps a poppy*

Whoa there girlfrien', you can't go round bitch slappin' muvva nature n'ting

Ooohoooo pie!

As you were *munchslurpchomp*

The Izz is on!



*does snoggings with ground*



I love the earth.

There's a kid outside in one of the neighbouring gardens with a recorder, and for the last 2 hours, the kid has been blowing into the damn recorder...only they can't play the stupid thing, so has just been blowing and blowing and producing relentlessly long tuneless toots over and over and over...

If I could see where the kid was I'd be inflicting some pain, just to reciprocate

*pokepokepoketypokepokepoooooookke!*

S'not working



*recorder*

toooooot toooooot tooooooot toooooot toooooot tooooot

Hmmmm ...



Right. You've not got a driving licence, have you? Okay. Pick up the phone and get some lessons and your test booked pronto. Once you've passed it you're gonna have to find an icecream company who are in need of staff. If there aren't any then you're gonna have to find a shop that sells guns. Get a silencer too. Now, take out an icecream van driver and go to his company the next day. Offer your sympathies, 'oh! Such a terrible loss to the Viennetta world' etc, then offer your services to them. Once you've obtained the icecream van whip it round to your street and park with the music playing until annoying kid arrives at your window. Drive away slowly, allowing him to trundle behind you shouting "Fab! Cornetto!" and lead him to a far away country of your choice.

There's a kid who gets on the bus with his mum who possibly has ADD. 7:30 in the morning and there's a 6 year old zooming up and down the alley pretending to be Batman, stopping only to jump onto the seat next to you, whether it's empty or not, and twitter on and on an inch away from your ear about his latest collection of insects.

I love watching the other people on the bus when he gets on. You can see them all start to twitch and fiddle in their bag for earphones in case he bounds up next to them. Earphones are an easy challenge for him though: he'll sit and stare at you for the entirety of the journey.

His mum's completely normal too. Slightly tired look to her as if she's sick of saying 'no'.

That was a ramble.

Sorry. I was rambling.

No!

Need an icecream van.

*points*

Your mate Johnny's on CanalCat.

Cor! Rambletastic

That looks like an awful lot of effort involved. Especially as their mum has called them in for beddybyes Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!

I usually manage to scare mini bus/cafe/dr's waiting room terrorisers with a steely stare, daring them to approach me.

I know! But bedroom telly reception is rubbish

Telly keeps spluttering and sneezing on every channel, which gets jolly irritating after a while.

Ah. Yes. Beddybyes calling would also work.

There's an icecream van that parks outside work at dinnertime. It plays a cowboy film type of theme to announce its arrival. Y'know, the 'diddle diddle doooo ... doo doo doo, diddle diddle doo ... dum doo doo doooo' one. It always makes me say 'icecreams at noon!' and cock my pretendy cowboy hat.

You scary.

N'awww, you been relegated to the bedroom by young Jangles?

Go do Scary steely stare!

Scary Steely Stare is so scary it needs to be capitalised.

N'aawww, you so little peepDon't get ice cream vans round these here parts no mo'

Actually, me being in the bedroom is me having a big huff

The sofas I ordered are now out of stock, so I had a big strop about being sick of not being comfy and moved broadbandyness into the bedroom.

Only, it's not as comfy as I thought...I get pins and needles in the arm I'm propping myself up on and typers cramp in the other hand

Bet you did stompings while you wire fiddled too.

Can you not make a huge pillow armchair to sink into and type?