Journal Entries
What on earth
Posted Nov 17, 2003
Ellie told me this morning that, going along with our paranoid "delusions", three of our friends were indeed discussing us on Friday.
They said, or at least that was the inference, that they disapprove of us. Well, we always knew that. Rosa and Maria... they're religious (not that that should necessarily make a difference) (besides, in the Christian religion it doesn't specify that two girls being together is wrong) (I don't know what the Koran says) and they've made it clear. And Teri was always sort of edgy about it. She thinks it's weird. Or twisted. I don't know, I can't fathom her. Louise told them that when Ellie took a quiz on theSpark she put "yes" to the "have you lost your virginity" question. Terri at least found this weird, or twisted, or whatever. But Louise made Ellie take the test in the first place! Anyhoo, as I said to Terri earlier, I can't change their views so it's not worth making a hooha about them.
Being "liberal minded" as I guess my views are, I can't understand that people could think something's..... oh I don't know, really. It's just that if I were sleeping with a boy, would it be different? Maybe not with Rosa and Maria, but I know it'd be different with Terri.
They said, we're too affectionate in school, it makes them feel uncomfortable. This is what Ellie told me. Later I talked to Terri and she said it wasn't really that, it was just that they don't want to intrude on us. They feel neglected? Is that the word? I think it might be.
But that, that's OK to solve. If we stop hugging all the time and spend more time with our other friends, that might stop them feeling that way. I hope. Will it? Oh, as Mark Greaney from JJ72 sang, "confusion is rife".
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Latest reply: Nov 17, 2003
New things!
Posted Nov 16, 2003
- Anne Rice novels. OK, not strictly new but I've recently read a whole collection of ones I hadn't before. Result: I like Armand a great deal more than I used to. But Lestat, my dear Lestat has changed almost beyond recognition in Blood Canticle. Where is the refined sophisticated vampire we know and love? He has been supplanted by a gangster. His new personality would be fine if it weren't for Anne Rice's having built up such a different one in her previous books. Also: the addition of the Mayfairs seems kind of lazy.
- Boots! I have new boots bought yesterday with a 10cm heel that make me taller than Sophie! (She's 12 and taller than me. Pah.)
- Facewash from Lush. Lush is the best bath-stuff shop in the world.
- The Matrix Revolutions! Oohoo! So good, I loved it. Some people have claimed that it's not as good as the others. I DISAGREE. It's better, much better than Reloaded. I assure you. OK, I'd better stop going on about it cause I may give away crucial plotlines.
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Latest reply: Nov 16, 2003
A Generation Devoid of Inspiration
Posted Nov 2, 2003
That's a Kinesis song, don't you know, about the bad way in which British people choose to spend their time. (getting p*ssed so they pass out)
Not that I think we're totally a generation devoid of inspiration; and especially the people on here.
Ooh I'm so tired ... I couldn't sleep last night, I was sharing with my sister because my aunt and uncle came over to stay. I get on really well with my sister 
but she had some things to say about people bullying her at school and that, erm, irritated me slightly. 
Ahem.
And then I kept having mini panic attack type things, I'm not entirely sure why. Probably because I (unwisely) watched the 100 scariest TV moments last week with Ellie. 
I am a wuss, I'm not ashamed to admit it. Most of it was OK, just boring gory stuff but then there was an extract from The Ring where the girl comes out of the TV. Ellie was there to 
so it was OK, but last night I got very freaked. (Horror things make me twitchy.)
Anyhoo, I missed her, because she's a lovely person 
. And I do still, a little, which is slightly stupid 
since we've not seen each other for only a few days. Ah, love. Makes you insane, doesn't it? Well, I'd assume so, this being my only experience of it.
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Latest reply: Nov 2, 2003
Prejudices
Posted Oct 23, 2003
Drinking so much that you pass out in a social setting makes you a good laugh. Drinking so much that you pass out in your bedroom makes you a depressed alcoholic who should get help. My darling Ellie ... her brush with this still upsets me six months later, as does any substance abuse connected with her. So much so that even when she drank a glass of wine last weekend and we were lying comfortably on the sofa watching The Matrix Reloaded her reference to the party we went to in London made me want to cry.
I know where my dislike of substance abuse comes from: I'd like to say "common sense", but that's so patronising. Just that I get scared by the thought that I couldn't rely on my own perceptions. And Ellie is special to me, so I want to keep her safe. (What is strange is that in Karen's case, whose drinking habits have escalated in the last couple of months, I can rationally think "It's her business".)
Making a racist comment to a member of an ethnic minority is clamped down on. Making a homophobic comment to two girls who are in a relationship is brushed away as "he didn't mean it". Or, "he was having a laugh, you know? Lighten up" Well what if I don't want to lighten up? Is it fair to have some jerk - WILL, I'M TALKING TO YOU - come up and say "hey, you guys, I'd really, you know, prefer it if you didn't, like, express yourselves around me". No one else was offensive, so why should he be? (Answer: he's a jerk.) Some were confused, others curious. Two of my friends severely disapprove due to their religious beliefs. (One Christian, one Muslim.) But they were never rude. Not like Will was.
This is all over now though, because Ellie made a threatening comment to him that has been construed by some as a death threat. 
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Latest reply: Oct 23, 2003
Sing for Absolution
Posted Sep 24, 2003
Track 4 from Muse's new album Absolution:
Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful
Tiptoe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew
Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace
There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die
Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful
Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from grace
Our wrongs
Remain unrectified
And our souls
Won't be exhumed
copyright Matt Bellamy
This is one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a long time, even on the rest of Absolution.
If they play it in December I think I may cry. If only for the attention it'll generate. (I never cry in public EXCEPT when Haldir died in The Two Towers and subsequently when I saw FOTR with him in)
Me and Ellie told everyone about us. As in, our "more than friends"ness. They took it better than I thought. Yay!
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Latest reply: Sep 24, 2003
cinnamon_spider
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