h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Howdy. Do you want me to tell you my dream? Heh heh.

ooh hoo hee hoo! do tell!

WELL...
Are you sure you want me to carry on?

yes yes yes!
Sorry, I had to eat dinner (very quickly, mind you.)
I'm done now, and all ears. Do tell me! I'm in suspense! Arrgh!

WELL.
It isn't really that interesting. OK, so the bit you'd be interested in is... I was in a town and was walking along the street when I found a hairdressers. It had a wooden Komodo like Lucius outside in the hallway. There was a voice being really posey about hairdressing, saying it was the spiritual amazingness of the universe. Anyhoo, I went in and who should I find but 3 English guys who'd been living in Germany for a while but had just moved back.
*pause for dramatic effect*

and?

Sorry. I was trying to be dramatic. OK, so I went upstairs with one of these guys, and I just want to make it perfectly clear that I'd known him for years so in the stuff that follows I was NOT being a slut.... well kind of. Anyhoo. I went upstairs and we started playing this weird computer game with fuzzy circles you had to control. I was just going down when we sort of ... looked into each others eyes... no I tell a lie, we looked at each other and I moved up to him (it was all my initiation). He put his hands on either side of my waist and we kind of sank to the floor, or rather to this mattress that was there. As this was happening I thought, wait I should probably tell him that I'm attached, and not only that but to a girl, but dismissed it. Or not dismissed it... I can't explain it. Anyhoo, we were kissing (no more, I hasten to add, I don't have as twisted dreams as you, ELLIE) and then his girlfriend came. I rolled so I was lying on my back on this mattress but we were still holding hands. She looked annoyed and left. Then you came. "Um, Ellie-" I said. You turned away. I said, "she's upset". He said "Why would she be that upset?" I didn't answer but squeezed his hand and went to try to placate you.
Next thing - the entire hairdressers was filled with a party! It was like the one at the end of Donnie Darko EXCEPT there was no alcohol, and everyone was wearing "alternative"/goth clothing. The camera panned upstairs to where the three of us were standing in the room (minus mattress, it must have been cleared away for the party) talking and laughing in a totally innocent way, but as I (the observer) looked at us a comment from Maria came into my mind... you know they're talking about a .....

carry on...stop being dramatic, I want to know what happens! it just makes me impatient.

I had finished, actually.

oh, sorry.

I love you.

No need to apologise, my dear.
I love you too.

You did get that it was a threesome, right?

But I am! I am sorry.
Also a little ashamed and annoyed at myself, jealous of the fictional man. Sorry.

If it's any consolation, I doubt I'd do that in real life.

-->"laughing in a totally innocent way", i'm sorry, i still probably don't get the nice bit of the dream. um, i'm sorry.
thank you, i dont know what i'd do if you did. i feel like you own me.
im sorry, i dont like thinking of you with someone other than me, even if it is some fictional man you've known for years etc etc, it's not me. sorry.

Oh honey, my darling, don't cry.

how do you know im crying?

guessed.





I mean, I read your mind, yes...
I love you. my darling...

thank you
i love you too