h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm, just been looking at this Enneagram idea. According to the Enneagram Institute (dot com) I'm equally Type 7 and 4. God knows certain aspects sound familiar, especially what's said about negative aspects of type 4. Aspects of type 4's personality I can see reflected in my own. All of the below applies.

"When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. / Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. / Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders."

Yes, my comic strip. Well it's me, I'm pregnant, I have the baby, baby finds gun, the baby wants to know who his father is, I have difficulty answering this, 'The Usual Suspects' type line up, mayhem ensues. So the baby goes around killing everyone who isn't his Dad. Our most recent kills are:
Some disgusting guy who Lucy and I know
Matt Bellamy
An ex boyfriend of Lucy's
Lucy
Richard Kruspe Bernstein and
My old English teacher
I'm starting to think the shooting method is getting predictable. Maybe we should have hangings and poisoning their drinks... Oh dear, morbidness again.

Can someone explain to me why I'm watching the Kerrang awards? Dearie me, Good Charlotte have won, HAHAHAHAH loads of people are booing! HAHAHAHAH! I'll bet it's the guys from Electric 6. I'll bet they had to pay people to clap. Hey, why am I watching this? I have free will. I'll change channel... be right back
Well. It would appear that there is nothing but pop, soft porn and cars on the other channels. So I went to get a DVD. Maybe I should buy Hullabaloo... Do you have it, and if you do, is it worth it? Sigh, well there's nothing I can do about it now. I'll stick with Live Aus Berlin. Hmm, I don't suppose you like Depeche Mode? Gee, I don't think they're mentioned on my personal space *panicks in case Martin Gore passed through her space and didn't say hi* Apparently he lives near me... Hertfordshire, England - with his wife and kids. I doubt you couldn't care less, but I found it interesting. Well, sort of. *goes back to watching the interview on her DVD* Gosh, Richard sounds so camp.

I'm not really religious. I'm a bit strange when it comes down to religion. I was brought up Catholic, I say my Hail Mary's every night (okay, I miss out days occasionally) yet I'm not really sure what I believe in. It's a sense of duty, not faith. I feel obliged, that if there is a God, to give something back, that although life's a bitch it does have it's moments. Okay, I'll change topic.

As you can tell, I have a lot of spare time on my hands. I have the house all to myself and am trying to avoid answering the phone in case it's Lucy. I've been invited to her house, but she's also invited the person I would gladly give my last rolo to... so long as it was laced with poison and had a razor blade in it.
So, I'm trying to avoid her in case she persuades me to attend. Quite honestly, the prospect of an evening spent in the park with drunk townie boys trying to shove their hands up your jumper, not only fills me with horror but also makes me even more depressed.

Do you ever feel so desperate to tell someone something even though it isn't that important? It's important to you, although nobody else will give it a second thought, ever get that feeling? Or is it just me.

Well. I'd better get some sleep. It looks like I shall be going to her house. Goodie.
Ta,
-Nate

Well, Jessi tells me that "Type Four seems the only really worthwhile type to be". She is of course Type Four. I stood up for Ellie, who is Six.

Jessi went to Reading and Good Charlotte were booed, people were throwing stuff and she laughed. But you know the tragedy? I saw them on some Godforsaken children's TV programme and one of them was wearing ... a Muse T shirt! Isn't that awful? They like Muse and yet they abuse the genius they have been given to follow and make a band called Good Charlotte.
No one else seems to understand the terribleness of this, Sophie (my sister) laughed. The pain.

I have Hullabaloo, yes it is worth it, if only to see Dom's impression of a member of Slipknot (complete with mask). You should get it, the concert's great and then some of the backstage footage is hilarious, eg Slipknot impression.

I sort of like some of Depeche Mode, I don't have very strong feelings about them since I've heard only "I feel love" or something.

At this moment in time, I'm rather dazed because I stayed at Ellie's house and we didn't sleep till 6:40am. Also we made the discovery that the way we feel about each other is rather more than friends, which is strange because I always assumed I was hetero. Hmmm.

It's great you live near someone you admire, that way if you're bored you could always try and seek out their dwelling. Unfortunately the only place I live near is where Muse used to live and now they've left. Although apparently my friend's mum's friend knows the Bellamys as "friends of the family". Pah.

My religious beliefs are quite vague, since they don't really consist of "beliefs" as such. But sometimes if I feel truly terrible I ask for help: the surrender of burdens is helpful. And I say thanks if something good happens.

I hope the visit to Lucy's wasn't too dire.

Yes, I do get the feeling that I need to tell people things and it seems inconsequential, but generally it is important after all. Could you tell me?

Well that's depressing. Sadly enough, I know which member of Good Charlotte is which (my friends have appaling taste in music) so could you tell me who was wearing the t-shirt so I may ask God to smite him?

Wow. I'm watching MTV2, complete with Muse. Score. Matt, Dom and Chris are on the couch and I don't think I've ever seen them so animated. Gawd, I'm actually scared of Dom's teeth. They're so... white and straight... man that's really creepy...
Here's a recent peice of Muse trivia. Matthew Bellamy's favourite cheese is cheddar, and Dom's is bree. And as you probably knew, Chris' wife has given birth to a baby boy, and he is called, Frankie... I think. Well, something beginning with F. Also, Matt stole a double bass from his school when taking his A levels. Dearie me. I wish I was taping this.
Well, apart from asking them stupid questions they're playing new songs from Absolution. Y'know. I don't think I've ever looked forward to an album so much.

I can't say I really admire him. I have respect for him. I have a lot of respect for a lot of people, but I don't really admire anyone. I don't like the idea of admiration, it brings to mind small kids and astronauts. Uhm. I sometimes wonder what goes on in that head of mine.

Ah right. Okay, I'm interested now. So what's this about you and Ellie? I'm intregued. I'm wondering if this is Amy all over again...

My Mother came in and said Matt Bellamy's in the kitchen. I stood up and half skipped half ran in there, yes, I know the possibility of Matt being in there is a million to one, but still. And sitting there... at the dining room table... with my Dad... was... Micky. Aww dammit. Just a trick to get me to set the table. Pah.

Well, I'd better go and say hello to Micky and explain why I looked so disappointed when I saw him.
Ta,
-Nate

Poor you with your friends' music "tastes" ... sadly one of my friends likes Blue and Busted, so I sympathise. I think it was the bassist, feel free to ask for him to dwell in eternal torment as well as the smiting.

Once I used a similar ploy to get Jessi to get up when I went to stay with her. I said "oh, I'll have to think up a good strategy" then "ooh, Kinesis are in the kitchen", and believe it or not this feeble attempt motivated her to get out of bed. She tells me she will never forgive me, she is now completely disillusioned.

Cute! Do you know what date the baby was born? I'm hoping it could be the same as my birthday, then we will share a cosmic connection. Unfortunately I didn't know, as I couldn't get hold of NME and I don't have MTV2 *mutters darkly*
I think that it may be worrying that Absolution will be what motivates me to not give up the will to live in the midst of essays about Plato, Russia in 1900 and other nasty things. Though I bought Starsailor's album today, it's cute and undemanding. That sounds suspiciously like a putdown, but it isn't really.

Hmmm, Ellie and me? I'm kind of still euphoric about that, if I suddenly break off into babble please hit me over the head with a book or something ... it sounds very odd to anyone not actually one of us, but ... hmm ... we were lying in bed, saying we love each other, and started kissing, petting a little, that was about it really. Sounds weird, and it is I guess; we started the "I love you" business a while ago but it was as friends, I suppose this was the natural progression. (??) Or something?
Who knows? It's doubly (or trebly, or quadruply) strange as, like I said, I don't like any other girls in that way.

Aaah, so confusing and odd, but at the same time extraordinarily cool. Probably ours is the most meaningful relationship in our year. *basks in warm glow*

The only reason I know about the baby is they cancelled an interview with Zoe Ball on Xfm. It was some time in the last weeks of the summer holidays... I can't be specific. I was scuplting Jasper Carrot at the time and I can just remember the listeners being told that Chris' wife had a baby and the interview would be moved to the day of Absolutions release(at 4pm if you're interested)

Mwaha! The bassist! That would be... urh... *goes and uses google to find his name*... Paul! Hah! Aww feck, I was hoping I would be able to hate the name. Ah well, Paul, prepare to be struck down by a bolt of lightning or generally maimed and mangled in any painful way which is appropriate to your setting, so people don't get suspicious.

Ahh, that doesn't sound strange. I have an idea of what you mean. I think it's sweet. You obviously love her and it looks like it's developed into something more. It seems that so many of my friends are either having awakenings or getting seriously involved with members of the opposite sex. Personally I can't be bothered with relationships at the moment, doesn't seem worth the heartache.

I'm sitting in our nice new computer room at school. C'est tres bon! The screens face away from the teacher so you can do whatever you want. That and he's looking at our plans for coursework, I have done mine and I am semi working on my 'Description of Task to be attempted'... yawn.
Aha, and afterwards it's French! What fun. I have the horrible sinking feeling that I was given homework and for some reason decided not to do it. Amazing how the human brain works. Seperating the important from the not so important. *clicks fingers* Just like that!

I hate my friends music. Except Lucy. She has taste. And I'm not just saying that because she likes Rammstein. I have no complaints about her CD's... well, except for a few. But the majority of her collection is decent... Tchaikovsky, Queen and Pink Floyd.

I'd better go, he's starting to wonder why I'm doing so much typing.
ta,
-Nate

Aaaah, I can't believe my situation! I have Speech Day later on! Noooo.... If your school has been enlightened and has done away with this superfluous custom, this consists of a load of disaffected teenagers sitting in a hall and listening to "entertaining" speeches. And to cap off this fabulous entertainment, Mrs Jones is the guest speaker!

Mrs Jones is (or was) my GCSE Textiles teacher, she of the crow-like face and witch-like glare. Although witches are sometimes good, aren't they? So, it'd be an insult to nice witches. And this "human being" is returning (she left last year, after making me, Ellie, Karen and Maria's lives a misery for two years solidly) to talk at us at length. And here was I hoping I'd never see her again!

Personally, I think homework is bad for the soul. We're doing Critical Thinking right now so maybe I can come up with some excellent argument saying why we mustn't do it. Ohhh... so much RE work ... there's only so much Plato you can take...

Must go, I have to eat before the torture begins...

Want to play a game? Okay, guess how many times I've posted a reply to your last post only for it to get lost in h2g2 oblivion? Give up? Well I'll tell you... 5 times! 5 times! *goes insane and jumps out of the window*

No we don't have 'days'. Our school avoids anything that might be seen as optimistic. They also don't like the idea of 'fun'. Which I'm sure is what 'Speech Day' is supposed to be. 'Supposed' being the key word.

Ah. Life is good at the moment. I've got a haircut which doesn't make me look crazy, I didn't smile in my school photograph, my new hairdresser is attractive (and surprisingly very straight), I have Absolution, I avoided the bleep test due to a sprained ankle, ahem, and I also have Kazaa up and working. Vie est beau etc.
*a short interval where Natalie is asked many questions of little importance, mainly along the lines of 'how was your day' and 'what are you doing'*
Oh apparently Kazaa has been downloading virus' as well as music. *kicks the computer* Stupid thing.

Well I'd better get going. I'm trying to motivate myself to work and I'm doing a terrible job of it.

ta,
-Nate

Hello,

Aaah, that whole internet going crazy thing happens to me too. A lot. Tsk!

I always look incredibly strange in my school photos. My latest one includes me smiling derangedly, with brace on full view (you can't even see that it's coloured red and black), and my forehead seems to have developed its own personal spotlight. It's wrong I tell you, wrong.

Ah, the sprained ankle. For the last several weeks of year 11 when we had to do PE instead of revising I was, erm, recovering from a viral infection. My parents wrote the note though, so it wasn't completely fake. They have as low an opinion of PE as I do, luckily.

Excellent, it's great you feel better. Same here, I have been listening to Absolution solidly since last week apart from when I went to Ellie's on Friday and heard Radiohead and Cooper Temple Clause. Oh and Maria's strange cousin likes Linkin Park so we had that too. Hmmmm. And I am rather euphoric (still) about Ellie and I, it's so marvellous and happiness-inducing ... but I shouldn't go on about it.

You're mistaken, Speech Day is not supposed to be fun, it is a torture mechanism designed for torture. Well, self-explanatory I guess. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, though, in the end.

I had Kazaa but it messed up the connection. I may have mentioned before that the connection's quite weak, hence the internet-craziness.

Aaah, forth to notes on "Enduring Love". It's a good book but we're going over it so much....

I don't suppose you buy candy sticks? The Bassets ones? Well if you ever see a packet in the shops, take a moment to look at the picture on the front. Is it just me, or does it look like he's sniffing coke? The thoughts of a bored agnostic with a sweet tooth.

Ooh look, I got a free Lord of the Rings card in my packet of candy sticks. Gollum. "Tortured and wrought wretched by the lure of the One Ring, gollum is a withered piteous creature" (Wow, We must be family) "Driven mad and twisted by his loss of the One Ring decades ago, he is compelled to haunt Middle-earth, searching everywhere for the only thing in the world he ever cared for, his 'precious'." (Replace 'the One Ring' with 'Her copy of Origin of Symmetry' and 'Middle-earth' with 'her house' and you've got me)

I don't think I've ever had a decent school photo taken of me. In fact I don't think I've ever had a decent photo taken of me full stop. I'm not photogenic, you'd think that I was deliberately making those faces. But no. My face just doesn't stay still very well.

Heck, I've barely heard anything about what's happening with you and Ellie. Have you told your other friends? They took it well I hope.

How on earth?! *silent fury* No PE?! How did you get away with that! My Mater couldn't care less about PE but Pater used to be athletic and believes that it's a very important part of my education and physical development... blah blah... I have to say, I don't mind Self Defence. Mainly because Dom's a good teacher and he doesn't mind if we talk. That and you get to hit the bags *deranged grin*

I was the victim of an unprovoked verbal attack by someone half my size and age yesterday. Which was rather harsh as all I was doing was holding the door open for them. "The youth of today etc".

ta,
-Nate

Have you found Origin yet? If not, good luck to you, it will be there somewhere. On a slightly similar note my sister and I have lost our DVD of The Two Towers ... strange synchronicity there. Is there a connection between Muse and Lord of the Rings?? A metaphysical conundrum...

The youth of today. Tsk. I was never like that at that age. And I really wasn't ... I was completely terrified by people in the years above.

Ah yes, me and Ellie. Hmmm. Well, with us it's fantastic as always, we're very happy together. Our friends took it well, which is great, because we were a bit worried (two of them are quite anti-homosexuality). A couple said it was sweet, and one that it explains a lot ... also, our parents are fine with it.

HOWEVER. We were being affectionate in Exeter in the weekend, and half of the year above saw us, apparently. And so everyone is talking about us, because we live in a such a SHELTERED existence. Which is OK, and very amusing, because although Ellie is quit well known I'm certainly not. Plus, I never cared what anyone, or those particular people thought and I don't think it'd be consistent to start now. (Don't they have anything more interesting to talk about? Clearly not.)

HOWEVER. A guy in our year who has always been Ellie's nemesis was being offensive today, which severely annoyed me. And her. So, she attacked him. (She's quite violent that way.) Fun, huh? But still, it's hurtful that people can be like that just because of who you like. Happily, this guy deserves physical violence and it let out our feelings; I told one of my friends about him, who lives far away, and she dislikes him even though she's never met him. Now he is avoiding us, albeit spreading "rumours" around. Quote marks because the only rumours I've heard about us are just statements of fact.

Honestly. Am I being unnaturally contemptuous by thinking that surely they must have better things to do with their time than discuss us??

aah, where did the smiley come from? I must've done it by mistake. Ahem.

Well good luck to the both of you. If you're happy then that's all that matters, and God knows we all need a little happiness in this life.

He's spreading rumours? Oh please. This behaviour is so childish. I can't believe that people have nothing better to do than discuss what others think. What does it matter? And I'm not just saying that because apparently I'm gay.

Yes, there's ANOTHER rumour going around about my sexuality. This time my love interest is my newly aquired best friend Lucy. Poor girl. I really couldn't care less, let them think that. I'm glad to see it's encouraging some mental activity.

I have two e-mail accounts. One which is used all the time and another which is frequently forgotten about. I found myself wondering what ever happened to that account, so today I went off in search of the lost ukonline e-mail address. [dramatic chord]. Well, I found it and it's full of complete crap. I've been sitting here for 20 minutes just deleting all the junk mail I've been sent, and I'm nowhere near done... is it just me or am I embarking on the most pointless activity ever? I'm ill so I have an exscuse to be wasting my time. In total I had 129 junk e-mails. Impressive.

Well I'd better go and get on with some work, I've missed three days now. Erk!
ta,
-Nate

First of all, sorry about the whole "delay in posting" thing; school saps the energy so much, don't you find? I've managed to muster the will to post occasional things on "just a thought" but have then been forced to crawl back to a dark room where I can have the chance to recuperate.

However, now I'm rejuvenated! (slightly) Almost had a heart attack just now because it looked like my entire space had been wiped... Hmmm, maybe the BBC are trying to keep us on our toes or something?

Gosh, the rumour thing must be awful. I mean, it's bad enough if the rumour's true. How is it now, has it died down at all?

I've been on the Kill Hannah website. I was introduced to this very threatening band by Ellie, who kindly signed me up to the mailing list. Using people's names like that? Bah, humbug! People with that name (like me) could be severely traumatised!
Ah, well. I guess the lawsuit will have to wait, I have to go and eat dinner.

I'm not adjusting well to the new and 'improved' version of h2g2, it is, quite frankly, the most irritating thing since sliced bread (It isn't real bread)
The awkwardness of the layout and the awkward changing of the password AND username... I don't think this relationship will work somehow.

I sign people up to online fan sites. It's a fantastic way to make enemies and more enemies. If you are to do this, keep your motives to yourself or you will be bombarded with similar newsletters. I am currently in the middle of a war with my best friend. I signed her up to the Sting site, she signed me up to the David Sneddon site, I signed her up to the Craig David site, she signed me up to the Good Charlotte site, I signed her up to the Blazin' Squad (or as I was calling them until quite recently 'Grazing Squad') so she signed me up to the Murderdolls site...

Yeah the rumours have died down. I'm not surprised they started to be honest. But that's another story. I'm not too bothered when people make up rumours about me, I'm used to it, but what pisses me off is when they can't get their facts straight.

Ah well. I'd better go. My friend's giving me an ear bashing on the phone about something or other (I'm typing one handed while going "Yes, yes, oh really? Did he now... yes, oh my... well I never")
Tata,
Natealy
x

Hello,

I totally agree about the weirdness of the new layout etc, when it first changed it wouldn't let me login for ages and it wasn't until I'd been offline for a week that it actually informed me I had to change my BBCi username thingy... bah, humbug. Ah well, there may be some purpose to it all.

Ellie signed Lani up to a Gareth Gates site after Lani confessed that she "quite liked Spirit in the Sky". I was on the phone to Ellie at the time so I was bombarded by Gareth Gates information. Nooo! (Did you know Dom Howard has the same birthday as him? Shocking!)

Would you believe a spiky necklace can cost $34 online? I reiterate, shocking! What's a girl who wants to accumulate as much vicious jewellery as possible to do? Pah.

I had a deeply traumatic experience the other day. I was in Exeter with my sister (going to see Finding Nemo) and she wanted a top from H&M. To amuse myself I decided to try on this rather deranged leather top. I was wandering around, trying to find a fitting room where I could see how the monstrosity looked when this old man walked past and leered at me! Trauma! What was he doing in H&M anyway? Oh, my.

You're not surprised the rumours started? What's this? Sounds interesting.

Ach no. It isn't interesting. Not in the slightest. Just something I did. And urh. Something someone else did. Erk. I do wonder how I can avoid this topic...

Ah yes. A friend of mine hasn't fully grasped who Matt Bellamy is, except for the fact that I say he is attractive. She keeps on sending me slightly... disturbed... letters and signing them Matt Bellamy. I thought she was perfectly normal, but these letters. Gee. I was slightly sickened... If I'm sickened by something you know it must be bad.

Spikey dangerous jewellery? I suggest Camden. It really is the only place. Sadly. I tend to avoid such places these days. Damn. I'm talking like I've just turned 20. I feel about 60 at the moment. It's been a bad month. A slip in control. An absence of good humour. Not to mention one or two unspeakable happenings.

Ha ha! I don't have that problem. Due to lack of care and time, I often leave the house looking like death. Men either steer away from me because I look like I have the plague or because I dress like a boy. I'd say it was a mixture. Hey. I'm not that bad when I make an effort, but sadly I don't feel up to it much anymore. Jeans, trainers, long coat, shirt. Although I can tell which types are the leery ones. Mainly due to the fact my friends are constantly leered at. Hmm. It does wonders for my self esteem.

*nudges friend* "He's a leerer..."
"Really? But he looks so innocent"
"Nah, trust me."
*cue lurker*
"Alright dar'lin! You're alright aint cha?"
*pokes dirty minded idiot in the eye*

Wow. It's November. And what is happening on the 27th? Muse Muse Muse Muse. Got it yet? Why it's the Muse concert of course. Aaah, I'm starting to get excited. Only two and a bit more weeks..

Hey, I'm off to see a preist tommorow. Wish me luck.

Ta,
Natealy
x

Hi, I just saw your journal entry from earlier on. What's happened?

General suicidal impulses. I had a relapse.

What are the reasons? How are you now?

Reasons reasons. As soon as I figure it out, as the past week is a blur, I will tell you. I need to sort it out first.

Bad. I'm wearing things I stopped wearing years ago just because they have long sleeves. Soon, they will get suspicious.

*is currently wearing an air walk hoodie, guffaw*