h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't remember whether we broke many dishes. We weren't allowed to operate an electrical household items except for the hoover, though.

This was a smart move.

When I was about 14, I was making a cake while alone in the house. I hit the button on the mixer while my fingers were between the beaters......at the same moment, I heard the family car pulling into the drive...

My reflexes were faster than I thought. No broken fingers. (It helps if you're double-jointed - they were stretched to the max before I got them out of there.)

My folks came in, none the wiser...

That sounds horrible.

We never understood why my parents weren't happy when we prepared breakfast on a Sunday morning and put the kettle on.

But you understand this now......

Yes, I do.

some of the worst accidents happen in kitchens

and we men eat them

I've seen a few of those accidents, Pierce!
I learned to cook my own breakfast at age seven. Mom had gone back to work away from home, and my dad was perfectly happy to fix my breakfast. Here's his method:
Put oil in skillet. Put frozen sausage patty on oil. Mash patty into oily skillet until black and hard. Remove patty.
Drop egg into greasy pool. Lift grease with spatula and drizzle from a height (to cool it, no doubt) onto egg, which becomes very shiny.
Serve with squishy, buttered white bread and lots of salt.
Thankfully, I was quick to learn my own egg cooking and am still able to circulate my blood on account of it.
So, even though I agree that it would be civil and right for B'El's menfolk to spontaneously offer her sustanence, one should be careful what one wishes for.

That's what's called throwing you in at the deep end - it's a good incentive to learn how to cook!

I would maybe have learnt how to cook, but we weren't allowed to, which means I had to endure all the horrible meals my mum prepared (they weren't burnt or anything, but I was very picky as a child and disliked most of the food she cooked).

I really really must learn to cook.

TRiG.

Oh, absolutely. It makes you independent for other people's cooking.

From, not for.

It's not that scary, Trig. It's just a matter of getting things hot at the same time. And if you go for a salad, you don't even need to worry about that!

lmao! I'm male I cook, clean, hoover/housework/iron, washing, sow+I can knitt, wash the pots, do the shopping, gardening, pay the bills, painting and decorating, DIY, I live alone apart from when I come and stay at my partners, I'm gay you see so I can mulitask just like you woman lmao Bye Dale.

uh-oh, you used the 'm'-word. boy are you in for it now!

No, no, he just said "mulitask", not "multitask". That means "working as hard as a mule"

I thought it meant never working unless under the influence of spiced wine. Or was that "mullicask"?

Or perhaps "mull-itasking" was what Socrates was at when he stood all night in one spot, pondering something.

iTasking sounds like the new internet buzzword...

i'll vote for "I thought it meant never working unless under the influence of spiced wine"

Perhaps he was just questioning his hairstyle.