h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

'What is napkinsand?' err could it be a typo and you forgot to write "wich" on the end, as you'd run out of any other filling ??

Napkin soup is much better than napkin sandwiches.

.. and you thought I was difficult to understand

Well, there is this sand you use in cat litter boxes - could that be napkinsand ... Not that the lair cats ever would be seen using napkins.

In the same context.

As a rather young ette I visited relatives on the other side of the pond. Even though I was rather good in English - at least according to school records - my knowledge in American English was diminutive. Upon arrival I was served dinner, and the grandaunt asked me if I wanted a napkin.I must have made until I realised she offered me a serviette.

Later I learned that a napkin in American English is a diaper...

When my sister and I first met our American step-grandparents, we spoke next to no English. So we misunderstood when they told us to come in, they had some gifts for us...

"Gift" being German for "poison"

We ran in the opposite direction

when on holiday in America, a female attendant in a slot machine/casino place asked if I'd look after her as she put me on to a winning machine. So in Yorkshire dialect, I said ok! what time do you knock offshe I found out after, that their slang, knocking and associated phrasesmeans have sex

>>Well, there is this sand you use in cat litter boxes - could that be napkinsand ...<<

In that case, napkinsand would be my carpet.

Yes, when I used to purchase chemicals from German companies it always amused me that someof them had 'gift' written on the delivery box.

I had a colleague who had spent some time at Cold Spring Harbour Laboratories in the States. He shared a double desk (arranged back-to-back) with a colleague. One day he asked his colleague to pass him a rubber, and was rather surprised at what landed on his desk

Another colleague (virologist) was giving a lecture at a venue in the States and was most puzzled when the AV technician asked if he had brought his 'hards'. (Turned out these were hard copies of his Powerpoint presentation).

The German Gift is still meant as a present in 'Mitgift', or so they say.

Mal, was that quiche you made for me a Gift, then? It certainly seemed like it!

What the Americans call a diaper I'd call a nappy, not a napkin. I'd think of napkins and serviettes as the same.

We ought to get some of the British English people into this conversation.

TRiG.

That would be good.

Here's a subtle difference- An american lady asked her british date to help with her necklace. Unfortunately before he got it clasped, it fell down the back of her dress. "Well don't just stand there, get it out!" she ordered. So while fishing for it, he said "I feel a perfect ass." She said, "Just get the brooch!"

Nappy = diaper

napkin = serviette

It's what I learned at school, and we learned British English.

napkinsand= ? German-English

Oh, and very funny stories. Keep 'em coming!

A young Swiss fellow was doing an internship at a North Carolina company, and made that mistake about rubbers the first day.

He said it to a nice Southern lady.

As a going-away present, they gave him (among other things), a large bag of erasers.

After I had moved to Hesse, I once went to buy some Berliners. At the check-out I was asked whether the Kreppl were all I wanted to buy. I stood there stumped, not knowing what she meant. It's the dialect word for Krapfen, which is another word for Berliner.

Oh, yes.

My first day in Munich: I went into the bakery, while Elektra hid outside, afraid to go in.

I asked politely for 6 Brötchen.

The surly woman at the counter said they didn't have any.

I pointed to the bin. 'What are those, pray tell?' (Huge bin of hard rolls.)

She said snidely, 'Those are Semmel.'

I sighed. 'Then give me 6 Semmel, please.'

As I left the shop I heard 'Saupreiss'. (=Prussian pig)

I came out of the shop laughing. I told Elektra, 'I've just been called a d*mn yankee!'

Semmel, eh? I can't believe she insulted you!

I hope you never went to that bakery again. I know I wouldn't.