h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You know, I somtimes think that a veil has its advantages,too

That or a brown paper bag over one's head!

I was thinking of getting a paper bag as a Christmas present for my hubby. (I still haven't recovered from looking at him through my first pair of spectacles! Up until then, I had thought he was good looking.)

Met him in the dark, by candlelight, did you ?

Proposed at moonlight, divorce in dayligh huh?
Think yourself lucky. They put my picture over the fireplace to scare the children away from the flames

Turn down those lights! When asked by a young man about the advisability of pursuing an older woman, Ben Franklin said; first, experience has it's advantages, and second, all cats are gray in the dark.

that's true. And it was before the invention of neon light, I guess.

I didn't meet my hubby by candle light (nowt so romantic) - just a few years prior to getting my first pair of specs!

What are those blue light thingees that they use in clubs called? The type that shows up peeps grey hair an' dandruff?

Do you mean fluorescent? That shows up your bra under a black jumper

Yeah! Dat's de one! It shows up all the flaws on skin, teeth and make up as well as every spec of fluff on clothing!

I think it
s called 'Schwarzlicht' here - very cruel light

"Black Lights" are what I think you mean. Make everyone look strangely tan?

...or with the appearance that they've just walked off the production set of a movie.

I've googled for it - it said it's nothing else than UV light But then we've known for years now that UV light is bad for our skin and wrinkles

We should become s and stay out of sunlight.

According to 'them', everything can be bad for you nowadays.

Indeed, it seems whatever you do, you can't win. There was a silly article on my e-news service about how on weekends when new Harry Potter books are released, fewer childeren go to emergency rooms. Said they, maybe groups of authors could be recruited to release new books every week to keep the kids out of harm's way. Of course, they conceeded that the kids could get fat and rickety from no sun...

They probaly can sit in the sun to read ?

...and have large groups of teenagers with macular degeneration and cataracts...

Not to mention skin cancer, or rather skin hamster as my daughter used to call it when she was small.

I thought that was only the risk in Australia
You get cataracts from sunlight ? Never heard that before

Well, reading in bright sun does something bad to the eyes, I'm sure. Don't go quoting me to your eye doctor!
I'll have to remember the "skin hamster" !