Journal Entries
Planet Thanet :Researching Real Ale
Posted Apr 7, 2007
Despite propoganda to the contrary, in that he is apparently a poor time keeper, unreliable and generally inept at organising a drink in a brewery, I found young Roymondo refreshing in his enthusiasm to be first outside Margate Train Station, waiting to meet MMF and I when we staggered off the train. Around quarter of an hour later, RF arrived, and we began the steady stagger to Margate Wintergardens, where the second CAMRA Real Ale Festival was being held.
It wasn't difficult to find, really; we merely followed the steady stream of potbellied and frequently bearded individuals,(some of them male) crocodiling their way past The Clock Tower and Droit House and The Pier, and we slowly headed down into the bowels of the WinterGardens, paid our three quid entrance fee, bought a copious amount of beer tokens and our comemorative glasses with the Planet Thanet logo embossed thereon, sat down and proceeded to read diligently through the programme.
Our mission?
To research over 200 different types of Real Ale..and then, if we had time, the ten perries, and 35 ciders that were on offer.
Hey, its a difficult job, but someone had to do it.
At first, we decided in expedient to each buy a different brew, and share the sampling - I went for a Golden Newt, MMF a Tree Sparrow, Roy had a Tabitha the Knackered, and RF kicked off with a Killer Bee.
I can safely say my Golden Newt was particually vile, but undaunted (and slightly embarrassed I'd chosen such a naff beer) I attempted a Bitter and Twisted, which got a grudging 1 out of 5, a Scorpio Porter dubbed..erm... a bit liquoricey and finally came up trumps with something called Hophead, which got a scrawled "luverly" on my programme.
It went downhill from thereon.
Roy was getting to grips with a Shropshire Lad, RF was grappling with a Critical Mass, MMF passed on the Otter; we all had sips from each others glass, so I reckon its a safe bet to say we tried quite a few beers in total. The administration, however, did suffer after the 6th glass - but I did my best.
No Badgers there........... but we did have the choice of a Wild Hare, a Shefford Duck,a Red Dragon, a Norwich Terrier, a Sheepshaggers Gold which I believe Roy attempted ,a Greyhound Strong a Honey Bunny, oh yes - and a Pressed Rat and Warthog which I found - apparently -"V.Pleasant", to choose from the animal kingdom alone.
There was also the old cliches of Piddle in the Wind, and we all were tempted by a Crafty Shag, but oddly enough, that particular barrel had a queue a mile long, so obviously a lot of other people have the same sad, juvenille sense of humour that H2 researchers have.
Which is kinda comforting.
Frankly, I'm amazed I had tastebuds by this stage, but I'm a tenacious researcher, and after a mere hours break for a Pizza at the local Pizza Hut(actually 3 individual pizzas if we're going to be reasenably accurate) for Roy, RF and myself, we returned back to applaud MMF who had gamely carried on with his research, eschewing the chance of food to contiune serious research, whilst we lightweights needed some serious carbohydrates to soak up the alcohol.
Roy got cracking on the cider rearch, RF researched a Critical Mass, and I discovered a brew called Dartford Wobbler - and being Belvedere bred, I felt morally obligated to try some; the less charitable members of our group (no names
) spotted a particually portly young lady who from there on was referred to as *The Dartford Wobbler.
My, how we laughed - especially when her boyfriend was out of earshot.
The conversations ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous, and I don't know whether to be proud or offended that Roy has the opinion that I am even more smutty than he. Its a vile slander, I tell you!
I don't know which comment in particular he was referring to, but it's gratifying to know that I can make the smaller of the 2 Rs blush like a schoolgirl. He couldn't tell if I were blushing, because (a) I've got a high colur anyway, and (b) after half a pint of anything I start doing a beetroot impression regardless
...but he doesn't need to know that, now does he, children?
Finally, we all lifted a glass to 2 Legs, whose presence was missed greatly; he's a poorly bunny this week. What else could we have chosen, but Mine Beer, from the Blindman's brewery in Somerset?
Here's to a speedy recovery young Leglets
Around half seven, after a mere solid 7 hours of serious researching, RF and I headed for the Station and the lure of a reasenably half decent cassarole in my slo cooker, leaving the other 2 repro--researchers to manfully carry on vital research.
Such dedication needs to be applauded and treasured, and no doubt Rehab will be offered should it ever become necessary
My word, but they can drink!
A great day, and a venue well worth visiting again - my thanks to my fellow researchers for making it all such fun
Cheers gentlemen, all
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Latest reply: Apr 7, 2007
Curiouser and Curiouser
Posted Mar 29, 2007
Have you ever had one of those surreal conversations that apparently make absolute logical sense... until you put the phone down and think : "Eh????"
I've just had one with The Mother
She was as chirpy as a cricket - great good humour, giggly and generally speaking, was quite fluid and didn't go off on tangents as she normally does.
This in itself is noteworthy, btw.
Conversation went roughly as follows:
Hallo Ev, I've just come back from seeing the solicitor; I've altered my will again, a bit
Me: Oh. Righto - was it all sorted OK?
Her: Yes. I'm really pleased with it. You know you're my exective, don't you?
Me: Yeah, thats right, you asked me to be executrix quite a while ago, with the solicitor, if I remember rightly
Her: Yes, well, I don't want the solicitor, I 've asked for (Big) Dave to be executor with you instead. I mean, I know you arn't a couple any more, but you still get on alright, don't you?
Me: Yeah, we get on fine - I've been friends with him since I was 16, the fact I don't share a house with him anymore is neither here nor there
Her: Thats what I thought - and besides, he's a man, and I think you'll need a bit of help.
Me: Short silence whilst I get my head around the idea that (a) Big Dave's a man,(long story, but basically Dave is Dave, a good friend, but I haven't seen him as a man, as such, for years. He's just Dave)
and (b) despite the fact he's a loyal, staunch friend, I wouldn't ask him to help out in any emergency as he has a distressing habit of running around like a headless chicken. And he absolutely loathed every minute of being his own Mother's Executor. He was stressed to the max with it poor bloke.
"Yeah... that fine by me mum - does he know, or should I ring him?"
"No, I've already spoken to him and he was quite touched"
(I'd have thought "stunned" would have been more apt, but then.... "Thats fine,it sounds all sorted"
"So you're not cross with me then?"
"Er...no, of course not; it's your Will love, you say whatever you want and I'll sort it out when the time comes. Why on earth would I be cross? It's what *you want done, isn't it?"
"Oh yeah, talking of which, I'm downloading my kitchen"
"Right...?"
"So the charity shops will be bulging. I don't know *how I'm going to get it all there"
"Well... why don't you sort out what you *don't want, mum, and next time I come up and see you, I can drive it up to the Villiage for you? Save you schlepping big weights of stuff around, eh?"
"Oh... I s'pose I could. You'll be up soon, won't you?"
""Not this weekend, or the weekend after, but the next one, sure, if thats alright"
Silence
"Er... mum... you don't know something I don't, do you? I mean, you arn't planning to pop your clogs in the next fortnight, are you?
"No... but I need to clear up and tidy around before I Go"
And then there was a complete change of subject, asking her to send Her *Regards* to the lads.
Bizarre
I vaguely remember having a conversation rather like this with my dad, around three months before he shuffled off his mortal coil. I got the works; How he wanted to be remembered, what music he wanted played at his funeral, and a pressing need to hide the pornography from mum, so would I take ...erm... "this" down to the paper bank when I had time, please and thankyou?
(The things I do for my familly!
)
I've had some odd conversations with mum, but this is one of the oddest lately
And what worries me is that she sounded so damned cheerful
It was quite freaky.
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Latest reply: Mar 29, 2007
A Mixed Weekend
Posted Feb 4, 2007
My car is jinxed, I think
It must have some sign, visable only to a certain sector of the Hernia Bay Community saying "Please damage me - it doesn't matter that the owner can't afford it - go on, have fun"
Or similar.
I *was going out for the day yesterday; I was to collect the friend I was going with and we were going for a jaunt. So I arrived about half eight yesterday morning to the parking bay I'd parked the car in to find that some kind soul had smashed my back windscreen.
Glass everywhere - in the car, on the pavement, all over the place. And a few shards of back windscrren waving forlornly at me.
And to add injury to insult they hadn't even bothered to nick my little winged cat I had on the parcel shelf
Not had they had the cop to nick my Disabled Bloue Badge (which'd possibly been worth a few bob sold to the right/wrong person)
I can (almost) understand vandalising a car to nick stuff.
I can understand vandalising someone else's property if they're been an arse to you (I don't condone it, but I can understand it), But I'm Mrs Nice Guy, and my lads arn't involved in anything terribly naughty, shady or generally manky. They keep their noses clean. so to speak.
I can't understand trashing something just because Its There.
But thats what had happened.
Drove to the local nick - reported the crime, got the paperwork done.
Drove back to Wendy the Witch's flats, where she has (or rather the tenatants have) a sort of private off road car park.
Went in, had a coffee, a bit of a rant and a wobble, a fag and made a couple of phone calls to Autoglass to get a quote for the damage
Even with discount (I drove the car in, that's £20 off, and I get a 20% discount because my insurance company recommends this particular company to replace windscreens) it's a few quid shy of £225.00
So bang goes my jaunt to Nottingham I'd had planned - it's a windscreen or a break; I can't afford both 
So... I was a tad pee'd off, as you can imagine.
The car will be ready to go on Monday, and I'm still checking the insurance policy to see if (and indeed) what I can claim, and whether its worth claiming and losing my no claims bonus.
I do hate small print and palava.
Now; in tandem with this, I got a rather odd (well, I thought it odd, anyway) phone call from my friend Big Jan midweek. She asked if I fancied an all in posh frock hotel break to Greece.
To which I said; Of course, who wouldn't?
Once I'd got a few more bob put aside I'm sure we could sort something out!
And left it atthat. I'd love to go to Greece, but I'm still getting my head round the concept I've got some savings and I'm honestly a bit wary of spending too much. I'm so used to living economically, that I really have lost the knack of actually Spending, as in "Spending spending"
Just after I'd got in from The Windscreen Incident Jan phoned me:
"Have you got any holiday brochures and worked out where you'd like to go in Greece Ev, only I want to get my holiday time booked off work mate"
????
What she had *meant on the midweek phone call, is that she's going to treat me to the fare out and hotel accomodation! She was actually serious - I thought she was joking!
Half of me is as excited as a kid at Christmas, and all pleased and happy that someone likes me enough to do such a magnificent thing as treating me to a break And I've always fancied Greece. Sad bugger that I am, I caught myself sorting out my wardrobe today and putting aside "Stuff for Greece"
You kow, all those summery clothes you buy and then find that they're a bit *too summery for a coastal town in Britain even in our summers. It's always a tad breezy on this coast,
The other half of me is wary to the point of being frightened that if I actually believe its going to happen, it won't. Without going down the route of "Nothing ever nice happens to me" (because obviously, I do have nice things happen as well as my fair share of crud days) I can safely say I've often had my hopes built up, I've often trusted people I believed were reliable only to have the rug pulled uncerioniously out from under me at the 11th hour
(Mum offering the lads and I a cruise a few years ago, only to say she wasn't doing it because our passports were taking too long to come thru 2 weeks later is a minor example)
So I'm torn a bit
The sensible side is saying Accept graciously, get weaving with a decision and go for it. And be happy you've got friends like Jan, who are realiable and care enough about you to genuinely want to do nice things for you; you're a lucky woman.
And the cynical, wary and above all battered part of me is saying "WHY is she being so nice? Whats the catch? Can I cover all contigencies and emerge reasenably unscathed when it all goes pearshaped?
I think the sensible side will win out tho - I've already gone thru a stack of brochures and the idea is slowly becoming a reality rather than just a doodle of a dream
It would be nice to trust people a bit more than I actually do - friends, especially. Its not even trust, really - I know Jan's as sound as a pound. Its allowing myself to well.. feel comfortable that they want to be nice to me, simply because they want to!
This sort of stuff happens to Other People!
Not me, as a rule. Or if it does, there's invariably a catch, or a sting. There's always an element of Pay Back and Obligation somewhere along the line.
But I think its time to make an attempt to join the Other People
If only if it's just for the duration of a holiday on a Greek Island.
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Latest reply: Feb 4, 2007
H'mm
Posted Jan 9, 2007
Maybe I'm a bit picky - but I'm not all that impressed by this new theatre group I'm with - the Panto opens on Thursday (3 nights from now) and this evening was the first full tech rehearsal
Which, loosley translated, means its the first time the cast have performed
(a) on the stage they're to perform on
(b) with the props and scenery in place for the first time
(c) and its the first time they've had to deal with both lighting and sound rehearsals
Its always a bit iffy and stilted in rehearsal - we fluff lines, we corpse, miss cues - dance routines get taught, looked at and scrapped - thats all part of the fun
BUT - thats in the first 6 weeks!
After that, if you don't know the script backwards, can't do the dance routines in your sleep and can make up half a dozen rugby song class parodies with the most innucous of songs... if you haven't gelled with your co performers and got all the bitching, backbiting and general whispering and sniping out of the way, you may as well recast, rescript the whole thing or suddenly discover an impromptu appointment to get the malingers out of the way.
This company has been rehearsing for three solid months - they still are slow with their lines and there's absolutely no ommph or chemistry. There's ameteur..and there's awful.
The lead female villain is too cute, the male lead villain is about as threatening as a toothless neutered tabby... the Dame's Knockers arn't big enough or vulgar enough, and her costumes are bland and tame.
None of the cast knows how to apply makeup, and with the exception of the 2 older lads in chorous who have a bit of oomph in them, I've seen more cheerful funeral attendees, A couple of the girl ballet dancers have tatoos which might give em several zillion in street cred, but they don't half look pants from the audience's view point
And thats just for starters!
The stage crew also have had 3 months to build, paint and prep the scenery.
Crippled I may be...and I'm no artist, but I swear that I could have done better in the time they've been given - the sets are bland, ametuerish in the extreme and bland to the point of insomnia. I know they're on a budget - but for godsake lads - a couple of spray cans of gilt and sparkle isn't going to break your budget!
(And no, I'm not talking out of my bottom orifice; I've constructed and painted sets in a team in less than a fortnight, so I know what I'm talking about)
I have more exciting pocessions and decorations in my my own home than than have provided for the cast, so minus several million awarded to the Props department. Haven't they even *heard of charity shops? Have they no imagination? You don't need a big budget - just a bit of creativy!
I'm already providing some boots for the Sea Captain,(the bikers boots look absolutely stoopid!) a bucket load of spare slap for some mebers of the cast (and if I have my way I'll be in those dressing rooms PAINTING the buggers - its years since I've done stage make up but I reckon I could do a better job than most of em) and a few lengths of velvet and shiney satin-y materials to make the Beast's Castle look a little less like a Dole Applicant's home and a little more like a palace.
Honestly!
I appear to be reading in for most of the charactors and I cringe at the lack of cohesion in this particular company.
I know its only "technical" rehearsal... but I was waiting in vain for stunning lighting and interesting effects.
Oh yes; and the mikes (every single member is miked up - haven't they heard of projection???) all seem to be either faulty or eat batteries at a rate of knots
Beauty and the Beast? More like Mundane and the Ghastly I think
Oh dear; I really do hope that crap tech and Dress rehearsals are an indication of a decent show
But short of recasting..and finding individuals who can project, articulate and (dare I say it?) Act, I have a horrible feeling that this production is going to be whats commonly known as a pigs ear.
Mind you; the bass player's kind of cute; so maybe it won't be a complete waste of time
Discuss this Journal entry [11]
Latest reply: Jan 9, 2007
New Coat and a New Year
Posted Dec 28, 2006
I must be a bit slow on the up take
I've just figured out it's the last Friday before New Year's Day.
I ought to have worked it out, as I have actually done the Sales today and, (I am slightly embarrassed to admit) found an awful lot of Christmas presents for next year already, and all stashed away tidy at that
Gawd bless M & S! 
And I went to Debenhams; just to look, honestly. I had no intention of buying anything, I just wanted to be smug and look and think "Yup - I can afford that, but I don't choose to buy it"
(I'd actually gone out looking for a decent pair of shoes, but I couldn't find anything I liked or that fitted particually well)
But... I found a John Rochas jacket. Cream, textured wool material, with an amazing shawl collar. Fitted like it was tailored for me and as warm as toast. Gorgeous!
With the exception of the leather hoody jacket that my lads bought me for Mothers Day, I don't think I've ever actually had a brand new coat before. The last one (I think) was my school coat, which is going back a few years
So I proffered the cash card to the nice young man behind the counter, and got an eighty quid jacket for half price. Which was great.
But what's even nicer is that had there not been a sale I could have still afforded to buy it for myself 
The credit card is completely paid off, and once I've bought the household a new, decent washing machine, that will be the end of my spree. There's cash enough to put aside for a decent car, and also a holiday - which reminds me, I'd better apply for a passport; it might be a useful item to have I think
But best news until last; do you remember all the shinangans with the Council Tax? All the threatening of taking me to court etc etc etc?
And do you remember I was awarded DLA at the start of this month? The start date of which was Jan 3rd 06?
Because I'm on the level of DLA I am, and because Son No 2 despite being 18 is still at college, it transpires that I am entitled to a complete refund of most of the council tax I've paid this year
Which means... it's the Council that owes *me* money rather than vice versa. The household only has to pay Son No 1's Council Tax because he is over 18 and bringing in an income. Son No 2 and I are exempt.
Sometimes...just sometimes, life can be very sweet indeed. It's not the money, it's the sheer glee of putting a legal spoke in the Council's immoral charges system that pleases me the most - though the cash'll come in handy, of course
Christmas came early for me this year...and the New Year's looking both stable and hopeful. I had the pleasure of being able to provide an abundence of food and frivolity for my lads and guests without worrying where the next penny was coming from, and despite this - and the splurge out on a designer jacket which will last me years, because it's neither high fashion nor cheap quality, and one of those nice neutral colours that'll match a good dozen outfits at any one time, I'm comfortable in a realtively modest way
It'd be great if everyone had as Happy a New Year as I feel right this moment - and that's what I wish for everyone, both "here" and beyond the screen
Happy New Year
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Latest reply: Dec 28, 2006
Moving On
Researcher U226093
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